My dad is going through a messy divorce down in Texas and all I can do is sit up here in TN and fret about it. I know he's a grown man, but his my daddy. It drives me crazy that he can't seem to get anywhere with her. He's been living in hotels for the past six months... SIX Months. My dad for all intensive purposes is homeless. He keeps thinking that the divorce will be settled soon and he can move up here to be closer to me and his grandson, but it hasn't happened yet.
His wife won't move any closer to a settlement AT ALL. They used to live in Chattanooga, 3 1/2 hours from me, but slowly she pulled him away from all of his friends, made it impossible for him to see his brother and eventually I stopped visiting them because of her behaviour towards me and how she acted around my dad when I was there. Daddy would come to see me, but I was not allowed to step foot in HER house. Then her daughter had a baby and Dad relinquished his relationship with his grandson in order to move to Texas so she could be with her grandaughter. She has not worked their entire 10 year marriage, he had to take early retirement from a job he's had for 35 years to move to Texas... and now is afraid to get a job for fear she'll take half his earnings from that, too. Yes, I know that this sounds one sided, but I'm going to take my dad's side... I don't care about her side. It's my dad she's doing this to. It's my dad that is living out of hotels because of her. It's my dad she took from me for TEN YEARS. It sucks because, like I said all I can do is worry about him. I can't help... it is beyond my power. I'm frustrated and angry at the whole situation. I'm angry at her for being so manipulative.. and I'm frustrated at him for allowing himself to be manipulated. I hate this!
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cancun1999
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Sep 5 @ 12:41PM
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Angel1964
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Sep 5 @ 12:46PM
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Divorce is hard on everyone… I hope things work out for the best! Just be an ear for him right now… even that is more than you know to him right now!
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HandyItalian
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Sep 5 @ 1:00PM
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Divorce is always harder on the man more....... whats hers is hers.... and whats a mans is hers......  But daddys little girl is always Priceless 
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vettman454
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Sep 5 @ 1:09PM
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Sorry to hear about your dad, A divorce is never a good thing to go through.
But his wife is a woman and she is doing what she does best, so he better be in for a hard battle.
Been there, done that and will never go there again. But I surely feel for your father.
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oldgrayindian
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Sep 5 @ 1:24PM
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Your Dad chose to be in the relationship and he chose to abandon his own daughter and grand kid. I do hate to see you in the middle wondering if there is something you can do and there is, love him. There is nothing you can do about what is happening.
But you ask your Dad why, you are the one that was left behind and have him apologize to you and his own grand kid. I know this sounds mean and non-loving, but you have suffered enough with his choices. I have 2 daughters my self and and would never allow that to happen between us, and my grand daughter either. You are worth
more than you seem to think you are. You are not respondable for his choices.
By the way he doesn't have to stay in Texas to get his divorce he can go any where
and live anywhere. I have the feeling he is hoping that she will not divorce him, and then if that happened you are back to the old days again. Again you are not respondsable for his happiness.
Dr Robert White Eagle
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ladykay488
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Sep 5 @ 2:54PM
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It is okay to have a concerns for your father, be there to listen to him if he needs you. You can not live his life for him, nor can he live his life for you. He will work it out. 
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doc65270
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Sep 5 @ 3:22PM
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you said eveything very clear at the end. "HE LETS HER" she does what he lets her do. why did he move out of the house to begin with? if he would step up to base and start acting like a man and start taking controll of things it might not be so rough on him. think about it.
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pastashell
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Sep 5 @ 4:10PM
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Isn't one person's form of blundering another one's sense of aggravation? What everyone does, says, and how one lives effects all that is around them. If that person isn’t allowing themselves to grow and realize that life isn’t just about them then blunders occur and will continue to occur. You just need to look at it as a good thing, let it teach you, teach your father if willingly, to bend a little further and stretch in all directions. Like come on, do you really need to add more pressure to your life by expecting a certain outcome instead to only be given another? Of course, that doesn't mean that you stop striving for excellence and knowledge, but causing havoc, or rather not even wanting to strive for excellence and knowledge, I think not. You have to stop and look at those, even yourself, in your life who do just that, who stop striving for excellence and knowledge and go from there.
You can stop pulling out your hair. I’ve made you a cup of tea. *smiles*
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oklacheri
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Sep 5 @ 9:59PM
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I have to agree with the old gray indian sweetie... and he can leave the state if he wants. I went thru my divorce and being a woman as they all say I should have gotten at least all of it but I chose my kids over the crap and came out with a trash bag of pictures of my kids and my sanity... I moved in with my youngest daughter and have moved on... things can be replaced but your babies can not.
Remind your dad that there are people in Tenn that love him and he doesn't need much else right now.
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