For the past few years, I've seen my home under attack and I've said nothing. I've remained idly by while my ideals are under fire, watching the land I care so much for be slowly destroyed. So it's time I say something.
Attractive poeople, get off the Internet!
Or to put it in the language of my brethren: NOOBS GTFO MAI INTERNETS
When I graduated high school, the Internet was not something that made you popular. It was a dark and mysterious place only understood by the brilliant people that created it, and the pasty nerds they had entrusted it to. On the web we found our haven, our solace, our place where the jocks couldn't get to us and the girls couldn't reject us. And oh, how we ever enjoyed our paradise. We created glorious symphonies in MIDI format, sought adventure EverQuest, and usually made love through ICQ with a dude that was clearly pretending to be a girl.
But then the dark times came. MySpace and YouTube HotOrNot invaded our lands like orcs penetrating Minas Tirith. They brought with them attention whores of all ages and genders, and before we realized what happened the same head cheerleaders who called us losers were now blogging daily, and sneaking a look at their E-mail through a cell phone whenever they had a chance. Our numbers were dilluted by the attractive forces, our own stability compromised as the horde played on our weakness. Several of our kind defected, gyrating towards the starlets and showering them with the attention they so craved.
Our numbers thinned to the point where we are little more than ghosts in the machine, hidden and forgotten while still being the conscious lifeblood of the Internet. So many amongst us betrayed the cause, for they forgot the carnal rule of the Internet: That the only place attractive people have on the web is in porn.
And now the day is lost, and we are defeated. We relinquish the Internet to our conquerers, claiming only a few small reservations. Like settlers seizing Native American land the invaders moved in and shuffled us to the sidelines. Where we wait and bide our time.
I, for one, still cling to the tenants of old. I wage my war on the side of the Internet's creators, the loose association of geeks that fought so hard for a place to belong. And while we may weep that WBS no longer exists, or that MUDs have gone the way of the dinosaur, we remain resolute and defiant in our diminishing numbers. We retreat to the places the attractive masses wouldn't dare follow. YTMND, Newgrounds, Wikipedia, and the millions of websites depicting borderline insane Japanese porn.
Come get some, normals. We got a tentacle waiting for you.
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read more blogs!
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Kat_luvr
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Sep 9 @ 9:07AM
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Soooooo What are you trying to say? The internet is for Geeks?  
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Kandykammy
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Sep 9 @ 9:08AM
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Very well stated blog and oh so true. The internet is now being used for everything from an easy way to get a green card to an easy way for a terrorist to send messages. The ones who created the internet are left behind.
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diceknight
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Sep 9 @ 9:18AM
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The internet is now being used for everything from an easy way to get a green card to an easy way for a terrorist to send messages.
In addition to spewing Right Wing propoganda...you couldn't have missed the point of this post any more if you tried. .
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Fender
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Sep 9 @ 9:24AM
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I found this blog very funny. I remember when I started Journalism at University, I had no clue how to even turn on a computer. I am not saying I am gorgeous, although look at me  (Kidding)
...I used to party it up and was social in high school, first year of school slapped me in the face. How dumb was I not even knowing how to turn on a computer? Very good funny blog, thanks for starting my morning off with a laugh 
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twotall911
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Sep 9 @ 9:34AM
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ive been on the internet since 1955 and its gone to the dogs
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youaremissed
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Sep 9 @ 10:04AM
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I've been on the internet since days of DOS...Personally I think it is far more useful today then it was back then...I can key in anything and get my answer now...
I love it 
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Martin666
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Sep 9 @ 10:12AM
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It took until June 23, 2011 to mount the counterattack against the NOOB-ian intruders. His hand hovered over the red ceramic button that was wired to the massive Electro-Digital Pulse machine in the basement. He noticed a tremor in his hand. Wasn't that to be expected? Given the enormity of what was about to happen? Hundreds of millions of NOOB-ian intruders flitting around HIS internet, dumbly offering up their Visa cards for mindless purchases; porn; RECIPES! Sweet Jesus No!! They've made a mockery of the medium, squeezed their obnoxious beautifulness unwanted into his world, the world that he was entrusted to preserve, protect, and defend by the Originators.
But now he had them. They were dependent on him. They can't live without their internet now. They can't go three hours without checking their beautiful mail from their beautiful friends. Better no internet at all than let it fall into their hands! Hidden and forgotten no more, motherf***ers!!!!!
With a maniacal scream, he punched the butto
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Skydognc
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Sep 9 @ 11:27AM
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ive been on the internet since 1955 and its gone to the dogs
I take alot of pride in that statement!
I, Skydog, have done my very best,
to abuse, pervert, and destroy, the mainstream idealogy,
by which our founding fathers and creators of the almighty WWW,
both lived and died for !
after all, I am an American !!!!!!!!
but I am clueless, as to what you are really saying here!
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TallBlonde1
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Sep 9 @ 12:00PM
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Well done, very funny. We'll never get it back, you know, Orkut may be a final refuge. 
And a for Martin's comment as well. 
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