Random Redneck Thoughts. Looking for love in all the wrong places. posted 9/10/2007 11:03:04 AM | 2 kudos what's this?     report abuse

bluesouth

Greetings again fellow rednecks! I tell ya what .... this week has been busy! I've been busier than a one legged man in a ass kicking contest! If that ain't busy I don't what is.

I ran into an old friend this week. We call him "brother buzzard". Don't ask why we call him that because thats what we have always called him ever since we were knee high to a grass hopper. We go way back.

I ran into brother buzzard at the liquor store. Yep, ... he was backing out of the parking lot while I was pulling in. My bumper hit his ... no need to worry because it was just a nick in the bumper of his truck. It barely tore the confederate flag decal on the bumper. We thought about calling the law but since we had both been drinking and nether of us had insurance .... we decided not to bother the police with such a minor accident. They have bigger and more important stuff to work on. So why tie up their time right??

Me and brother buzzard went to school together. We were the two oldest seniors in our high school graduating class. He was twenty two and I was twenty three. I guess the school finally got tired of us and gave us a social promotion. Both of us have no idea of what "social promotion" means but we were glad to graduate and walk across that stage on graduation day.

Anyway .... I got to telling brother buzzard about what happened with my Chinese girl love affair. He was real understanding and said that I have to be careful when dealing with communist countries. He suggested that I get out more and go to some bars and clubs and meet new people. Then we both got to thinking (something that we hardly ever do!) and realized that we have been banned from just about every bar in town! It's hard to socalize when your banned from some of the more finer establishments in the area.

Brother buzzard suggested that we try a new place on the other side of town. He said it was called the rainbow bar. We both thought that it was a right classy name. A rainbow has all those pretty colors and it was probably a tropical type of bar. You know ... they serve them pretty little drinks with umbrellas stuck in them and play alot of Jimmy Buffet songs. Probably got some plastic palm trees stuck in the corner and a real artificial bamboo bar. Neither of us had been in there yet and since there was no nascar racing on television there was nothing on our Saturday evening agenda. So what the hell! ..... might as well give it a try.

So brother buzzard parked his truck in the liquor store parking lot. (we went in my truck because his has a bad thermostat and it keeps overheating) We piled in my truck and off we went. While driving to the rainbow bar brother buzzard compared my Hank Williams Jr. cd's to the one's that he has in his collection. They ought to sound really good if I ever save enough money to buy me a cd player. Brother buzzard offered to help me install it when I finally get it. He said that he installed his in his truck. Only problem problem is that it cuts on and off when he uses the windshield wipers. Other than that he said it works fine. He said that his left speaker is busted and only rattles when he turns up the bass.

Time flew by and we were parked in the rear of the rainbow bar. We got out of the truck and I had to take a piss from the beer that we drank on the way over. I walked over behind the trash dumpster and did my business. Brother buzzard guzzled down one more beer from the cooler in the truck. He told me if he had known we were going to a bar he would have put on some high karate perfume before he left home. He said he had a new bottle that his aunt Claudia had given him for Christmas three years ago and had not opened yet. That stuff is supposed to drive women crazy!

Well folks ... it looks like I might be running out of space here. I'll have to continue this story later .... sorry bout that! In the meantime read some of the other blogs or take a peak at the sex forums or something. There's alot of stuff on this site to keep you occupied! Later!!!!

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Blogs by bluesouth: Ramdom thoughts about nothing The curse of the werewolf Random Redneck Thoughts. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Random Redneck Thoughts. A broken heart. Random Redneck Thoughts. Death, could we be dead wrong? Rest in peace. Death, could we be dead wrong? Death in Deadville. Death, could we be wrong? Seeing the truth. Death, could we be dead wrong? The road home. Death, could we be dead wrong? (short pause in the action) Death, could we be dead wrong? Looking for answers ..... Death, could we be dead wrong? The dead nightlife! Death, could we be dead wrong?