Hubby come over tonight dressed in new cowboy boots and jeans. I had just found out this morning that over $172.00 was missing from the checking account and there he was with these expensive boots on his feet and new jeans. when I say to him is the $172 dollars were over drawn on your feet? He says , no i bought these three weeks ago. yeah, right. Number one, no check three weeks ago. It was two weeks ago and the boots were so new not one scuff was on them even the bottom looked new, they were new. he thinks I am stupid. Then he demands that I give him all checks and check books and that from now on he woudl control what he gives me. I told him we have a 281.00 electric and trash and phone and the land payment. He tells me if I don't give him all of the checks he will draw all the money out and I will get nothing. He then says he is closing the account on monday. He was acting like he thinks he is a god or something. He tells me he has a lawyer and that he will be filing for divorce as soon as the lawyer gets everything done and he gets the money to him. I will be so glad when the divorce is finished. I am ready to move on with my life. I have been trying to hold on to the idea of the relationship and forgetting how abusive he has been all these years. I looked at him trying to look like he did when I met him 15 years ago. Sorry dude you are not 32 anymore. you look 47 now. He thinks he is being a good father because he buys them things and comes to pick them up, but children can care less about the things you buy them., all they want is you. He is not going to be the one tucking them in at night and reading to them and the one they come to with problems. He takes pride in the fact he is going to put me through having another woman in my childrens life one day. How will it feel when he has to see another man in his girls life? They are his greatest adventure and he will be missing it. They love him and want to be with him but they dread going with him already. They are old enough to know what he is doing, and they hate it. They both admit to me the love for their daddy is not as strong as it was. When they are older and they say nope I don't want to go on my visit today he will realize what he has done. He is smug and thinks life is going to be his way and wonderful from here on in. I have one word for him karma .
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by chatty:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Once a jerk always a jerk |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
verandagirl
|
Sep 15 @ 12:22AM
|
|
#1Put your children first and foremost.
#2 Get your own bank account.
#3 Kick this (_@_) to the curb. .. maybe this should have been number two..
regardless...
Good luck to you.. and remember, No one takes advantage of you, unless you let them.
|
|
SunBabe
|
Sep 15 @ 12:34AM
|
|
PLEASE, Chatty, protect yourself. And some states won't let the other party's name be removed from a joint checking account unless both parties agree, in writing -- but that doesn't mean he can't clean it out in which case you'll be up a creek (and still liable for his bounced checks)...get your own account ASAP, and a credit card in YOUR name only. At least at this point you can use your joint income to qualify.
And for heaven's sake, no matter how you do it, PLEASE get some official legal advice. 
|
|
Josuha
|
Sep 15 @ 1:01AM
|
|
I agree with one post.
Get legal advice fast.
Get financially independent.
Maybe overstepping here, but try to get some counseling emotionally.
Don't isolate yourself.
|
|
azgirl701
|
Sep 15 @ 1:08AM
|
|
kick the bum to the curb 
|
|
ChipP
|
Sep 15 @ 1:20AM
|
|
I recommend you retain an attorney. It's jerks like him that deserve to pay out the nose. Keep your spirits up and remember your babies come first, of course I really don't even have to say that to you I know they do. Hope things work out. 
|
|
TheWytch
|
Sep 15 @ 6:29AM
|
|
I hope you kept a cheque or two back; and I hope you are 1st in line at the bank to both get a percentage of the $$ out; and to have your name removed from the account; and then open your own account - in a different bank!!! Don't let him know you have the new account; and especially don't let him know where. If you have a car; open an account in a near by town. Why? Disclosure in a divorce.
Next - get over to social services; see what kind of support they can give you. Explain about his concern in determining what $ you do or don't have; and that you have bills due. They should provide you with both financial and social support.
Keep a record of his conversations - and his new found luxuries and expenditures - as they may come in handy to have when it comes to the divorce.
If you have kids; you have to be realistic - you get one go; you won't get any cost of living rises; no chance to alter or change what the divorce makes final. You may want to just walk away - BUT with kids; you have to think not just of today; but tomorrow; next year - and the years to come. What if one or both get ill? Do you have insurance? Have the divorce amended to have the kids insured for physical and even mental injury. Divorce leaves scars on all involved; not just the two who were wed - your kid may need to speak to a counselor or a therapist; to understand what is happening in their life. Also make sure you are awarded enough money - for sitters to give you a break to get out an socialize; as well as to do the shopping; or to look for a job; or even for you to get settled and established in a job - to pay your fares to and from work and sitters; or if you need to retrain - to get you up and going. As well; there are monetary support for retraining and things - you just need to ask; if one doesn't more then likely they'll know another who will.
Best of luck. Keep records of eveything; avoid heart ache later.
Cheers
|
|
Johnny1951
|
Sep 15 @ 6:39AM
|
|
Divorce is always insanity time...Nothing makes sense and some people really go for the throat no matter who gets hurt, children not excuded...I can only hope this time passes by quickly for you and your kids...Remember all your actions and reactions will be watched by your kids...Good luck to you.... 
|
|
ladykay488
|
Sep 15 @ 7:16AM
|
|
I think you have some good sound advice, that everyone has given you. Don't wait hoping that everthing will get better, because it won't. Now is the time to make a move and protect yourself and your children. If you don't no body else will. Don't let him get the best of you. Put up a fight (not fist fight)  but enough is enough! It sounds like to me he wants out of having to care for you or the children.
Hope everything works out for you. 
|
|
blueyedblnde1958
|
Sep 15 @ 7:30AM
|
|
|
I agree with everyones comments that you need to get to the bank quickly and also get you an attorney quickly. Dont wait until monday to run to the bank, if you have a ATM card you need to hit the bank today., but monday you can go and get your own checking account in your own name though. I hope everything goes well with you during the divorce and more than likely he will have to pay child support. I wish you all the best and just keep your head straight during this crisis in your life.
|
|
BigDanAbbott
|
Sep 15 @ 9:13AM
|
|
|
We have A public Service Announcement for volunterrism here at the radio station. In that spot the character grows lobster claws on his hands. Sounds like the next "Lobster Boy" will be wearing cowboy boots.
|
|
missliss78
|
Sep 15 @ 5:39PM
|
|
|
I think it is passed time for you to look into protecting yourself & your children's well being & retain an attorney. From the stories you have submitted here, sounds somewhat like a case of abandonment & alienation of affection. He is not going to do anymore for you or your kids that he has to do...you need to get some good solid legal counseling.
|
|
Kat_luvr
|
Sep 16 @ 12:28PM
|
|
Give him a Band-aid......................You Been CUT ............  C'YA
|
|
HandyItalian
|
Sep 16 @ 2:42PM
|
|
|
Good point Jonny!! the only one that makes any sense here......
|
|
sjdw44055
|
Sep 17 @ 12:07AM
|
|
Want some advice? I used to work of a lawyer, named "Starven' Marvin", he has since been disbarred, thank god. His attitude was to starve the spouse out, dodge the courts, and keep the money.
First, you have children, they are your responsibility. Granted, you didn't create them alone, the burden, may fall on your shoulders for a long time. Second reason, is for yourself.
While he is at the bank: Call over to it, find out the balance, and get your name off of it...ASAP. Take what you feel is yours, and put into a new account, with only your name. Make an adult you trust your POD, and change any insurance policies you have immediately.
Make copies of : His pay stubs, the checking account, saving accounts, credit cards, and credit reports. Insurance and retirement info. Put it all way in a box at the bank. They are not expensive. You will be amazed, how many hubbies get court dates moved, because they need time to find papers. You will have them on hand.
If he is spending for freely, and you think he does have a lawyer, create your own paper trail. I needed money to get my divorce moving, so I maxed out all the credit cards, cashed our savings bonds, and presented them to the court, pleading for him to help pay for them. I took out a 10,000 dollar loan, put it in the bank, and used it only to pay the lawyers, the investigators, the paper servers, etc.
In most states, there is a fault, my spouse was a cheater, and left us high and dry, so he thought. He was found at fault of 90 % and me at 10%, it is the highest one can get. So, the flipped the numbers, I got 90% of the assets, and 10 % of the debt.
Get a lawyer, cover yourself, protect your kids.....
|
|
|