We have come full circle.......the other half....... posted 9/15/2007 3:32:20 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: god, love, relationship, christ

MetryTechie

Many of you have already read my lady Nicole's blog, We have come full circle......., and are aware of the fact that we are back together and are getting married. For those of you who are just learning of this, there ya have it.

Many of my friends here have sent me emails, somewhat confused. I can certainly understand why. A little over two months ago, I posted a blog about meeting a lady in Minnesota. I thought she was it. We talked for more hours in a short period of time than I would suspect most do. I felt that we had much in common. Shortly thereafter, communication dropped off drastically and almost ceased completely. I didn't quite understand what was happening. Finally, after a couple of weeks, I came to the conclusion that it was not working. I felt that the communication was not nearly where it needed to be and that neither one of us was looking to move from our hometowns anytime soon. I felt like this feeling was mutual however, I never actually got a definitive answer or feeling from her.

I never blogged about that short lived relationship or told too many people about it. I guess I felt a little embarrassed or foolish about the whole thing.

Very soon thereafter, Nicole came to church with me again, as friends. I saw a genuine interest and an open heart, ready to receive. I wasn't sure if she would come again. To my pleasant surprise, she returned the following week. I could see something happening that was too awesome to put into words. The kids started coming to church with us a couple of weeks ago and loved it.

We started to talk seriously about the possibility of our future together, as we had several times before. This time, things were different. There was much open and honest dialogue taking place. There was acknowledgement of things that we both did in the past and forgiveness. As Nicole stated in her blog, we really hurt each other in the past. I said some absolutely horrible things to her that I, myself can't possibly imagine saying today. Neither one of us had Christ living in us then.

The one thing that I always look back on was the fact that we always had loyalty and trust. Neither of us ever cheated or betrayed one another. I have always felt that that was huge. The love was always there. We were two stubborn people that were at many times very bitter.

Some say that looks or physical attraction doesn't matter. It's important what is in one's heart. I do believe that what's inside a person's heart is what is ultimately important. But let's face it, physical attraction is very important. Nicole and I never had a problem in that department.

Now, we look forward to becoming one, as God intended. With God as the center of our lives, how can we fail. We are both willing to give to one another, mind, body, and soul.

I've often said that I would like to have kids of my own. I'm almost forty now and don't know if that will happen. I have always thought to myself, that if God did not intend for me to have my own children, I would be perfectly content with Nicole's lovely girls as my own. I have been in thier lives for a long time and am very close to them. I love tham as if they were my own kids. They are happy that we are getting married. That means so much to me.

This afternoon, we will be attending our first marriage prep course at church. I am very much looking forward to it. We are taking part in many church activities and classes together. This is so exciting. I have seen such a change in her in the last several weeks. I am so excited for her. I am so excited for us.

I am looking forward to us doing things together as a family, with Christ first in our lives. I am looking forward to being the spiritual leader and provider for our family.

At the beginning of this blog, I mentioned that I didn't quite understand what was happening and was a little embarrassed about the whole thing. I am learning more and more that it is rediculous to try and understand or figure out what God is doing in our lives. We may not understand what is happening when it happens, but ultimately, God is in control and has a plan...a good one.

Nicole (DarlinNikki69), I love you and the girls, baby, with all my heart. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you and being the best step-father I can possibly be to your children. I will never forsake you or the children.

We have come full circle.......

Paul

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