I had a wonderful yesterday. I was invited to go to the fair and see the show on ice. It was so amazing , but I couldn't help but think my girls and my ex should be sitting beside me. He doesn't want to be beside me ever again, and he had the girls for the day so they didn't get to go with us. It was so much fun looking at all the animals and toching the horses. We went on the farris wheel to end the evening. I even danced to the music and drank ice cold root beer. I could have had real beer but it was nicer to drink root beer. It was so much fun, but I still wanted so much to have my family there. I am mad that because of divorce I couldn't have my family intact with me to enjoy the experience.
I am trying to adjust to being a single person again but it is very hard. He has moved on and I can tell he doesn't miss me one bit, but for me it is like nails in my back. I know one day God will send me someone who will love me with all their heart and make the pain go away but for now the pain is all to real.
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| it was bitter sweet saturday. |
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sarina543
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Sep 16 @ 12:56PM
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Ah yes I remember feeling those feelings as well. Hang in there, it all heals, and you will learn to enjoy all of your activities with your girls, and without him.
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Sheryll861
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Sep 16 @ 1:00PM
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Oh, I am so sorry you were sad about not being with your family.
I am also glad you got out and did something and had some fun.
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andyorange
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Sep 16 @ 1:04PM
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I know it may seem hard to believe, especially at this juncture, but time really does heal all wounds. Before you know it, things will start to look up.
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Angel1964
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Sep 16 @ 1:20PM
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I think it’s good you went out and had fun… I’m sorry you felt bad about your family not being there…However, you went out and had a good time with out them…. Sooner or later you’d have to do it anyway…. Kids grow up, and leave the nest…. You need to do stuff on your own with out them sometimes.. Or you’ll become one of those women that build their whole lives around your family and find themselves completely alone… I’ve seen this happen… I know it’s hard now. I feel your pain… However, I feel you did the best thing for yourself by going and having a good time….
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suthunsweet
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Sep 16 @ 1:21PM
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Sarina is completely right on. I went through this too. Keep doing what you are doing....keeping on with your life and getting out. The time will pass and one day you will realize it isn't quite so terrible.
I am going on 4 years now and do you know sometimes I realize I am happier WITHOUT him now. I never thought I would live to say it, but it is true. I do not have to ask him if I can go or do anything. When I am without my kids (who are now teenagers) I make sure I plan things to do. The last time I had a free weekend I ended up doing absolutely NOTHING but cleaning house and being lazy the rest of the day. Those alone times can really be hard, even now, but take the time to focus on YOU. What is something you really want to do? This is your time to heal, learn to love yourself, and prepare for what your new life will bring you. Be POSITIVE!
It won't go away overnight, but in those bad times the internet can be your salvation so to speak. You are never totally alone.
Keep your chin up! 
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HandyItalian
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Sep 16 @ 3:16PM
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Now i dont wish to pop ya bubble, I only wish you the best, its been 15yers and somethings just dont change, most will.!! but not all...... the fact is you mad a choice now you have to live with it, There will be better days ahead, but not as the happy family you may have been, just dont use your kids as an excuse to get money. I never ask my ex for a dime, just that she stay a part of there lives, Your childern will have there own relationship with the father and what happeneds between them is just that... not for you to say, just as it is for you to have that same right,!! so enjoy the time when its your time with them.
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