You know what I want, more than anything right now? I want a certain person, who shall remain nameless yet lovely despite how I feel about him now, to not end up being another one of those guys!
For the record, "those guys" being the ones who I was interested in and/or who were interested in me (mostly it was mutual but sometimes to differing degrees); and then whom opted out for different reasons.
Some of them it was the distance that did it: a bird in the hand with her top off is worth more than a bird with a bush that's 6,000 or so miles away as the proverb doesn't actually quite say, but probably should.
Some of them it was running into an old flame, or a lack of trust, or jealousy over my male friends.
Some of them it was a sincere disparity between religious beliefs and/or sexual practice that could not be overcome. Well, yes, it could have been but : YUCK! Who would want to?
Whatever the case, it is a fact of my life that it is simply chock full of "those men" who went on to relationships with other women and then proceeded to track me down (if they ever left) and whine, excessively, about how they did me wrong, or they made the wrong choice, or they shouldn't have listened to that lying b... ; and they tell me I should be with them or that they should have chosen me instead.
With some of them, they may even be right, to some extent. However, I don't believe I really should be with anyone, most of the time; especially not after they chose to go off with someone else. I mean: duh!
I don't want this man to be one of those guys and I know there is a very good chance he will be. Because he is being lied to about me, has been being lied to about me for a very long time in fact. And despite what he says, what they say about him, I know at least some of what we had was real and his arse is going to miss me to some extent.
I couldn't take him being one of those guys, though. Because, unlike the rest of those guys, I was sure with him that we'd always at least be friends. But despite that surety, we are not .. it's all broken and it can't be unbroken.
But it can be glued into it's separate pieces set back on it's shelf, as it were. I don't need someone catting around later and knocking it apart again.
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