Time passed some more as Woodrow considered this answer and how to get his hands free of the tangled knots with which he was bound.. Unfortunately for him, the blood was rushing to his head and it meant it was getting too crowded in there for the formulation of really good plans.
“Why would you touch another man’s intended? What gives you the right?” wailed Woodrow, from where he now hung suspended by the beam that went through the middle of his living room.
Some person’s involuntary physical reactions are forces to be reckoned with.
“Excuse me? Have you seen your intended? You shouldn’t have been so slow in marrying her, man!”
Woodrow hung his head in despair, unlike the rest of him which Chaos had hung, after knocking the man out during the first involuntary physical reaction he’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing, out of a pinch of anger, a dash of daring do, and a cup of rarified whimsy.
“Listen to me Woodrow: she will give birth to my son and you will call his name Parsnip the Magnificent, and he will be raised as your own child. Once he has matured to a certain degree, you will dedicate him to my service and finally I shall get a decent salad without having to travel out of this galaxy.”
“Err .. what?” asked Woodrow, brilliantly.
“I need a salad chef, man.”
“You lured the love of my life away from me and into your arms using charms beyond human ken to … “
“Well, yes, if you call rape charming, then essentially you are correct. “
“Rape?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Do you think I want my son raised by a slut? What kind of father would I be to let the sort of woman who would cheat on her intended raise my own fle.. well, child.”
“What kind of father would you be to rape the mother of your child?”
”One who wants a decent salad. I believe I already told you that!”
“You are mad!” bellowed Woodrow, struggling to break free from his bonds.
“I am Chaos. I think the name says it all, don’t you?”
Woodrow fainted.
When he awoke, he was alone, on his bed. Quickly he dressed and ran to fetch Rose, determined to take her to his home that very day.
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| The Sacred Beggar Boy: Chapter One fini |
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