“What?”
Chaos continued to smite persons with random but mighty smitings as he demanded information. :
“You show up after years of being kind enough not to make salads for me, which was very good of you all as your salads never were.”
“Huh?”
“Good at all.. . your salads were never good. You show up together, even though you were all employed separately and came from very different lands altogether. And you all show up just in time for the birth of a son that I certainly never sent you an announcement in regards to having been expected. Why? How? Who sent you?”
“It’s written in the letter, Sir.” , they cried out. “ In the letter it stated that we should meet in the sacred veils and journey together to you and plead for an allowance to teach your son all our finer gifts.”
“What letter” he demanded,, whilst throttling to of them and putting his boot firmly in the mouth of the third.
“Acckkkk uuu rrccckkkk” two choked out in unison.
“Fe rttr fum ooh Slur.”, said the third salad chef.
“What?”
Chaos removed his boot and asked again: “What?”
“The letter from you, Sir.”
“The letter from me?”
“Yes, Sir. You said you wanted him to be raised as proper salad chef and that we were the best whom ever served you; and that you trusted between the three of us we could give him a good, solid base of education upon which to build and thereby create, for you, the penultimate salad that would bring peace and prosperity to the land.”
The man proffered him a piece of paper with scribblings on it. Chaos released his strangle hold on the two others and accepted it . All stood quiet as he read it through.
“It also says that I like mojitas and therefore was not sure but that I might melt if caught in the rain and ponders the complexities involved in the dating world in general.”
“Yes Sir.”
“It’s utter drivel!”
“Yes Sir.”
“Yet you came, to serve me, based on this ludicrious bit of random sciribbling?”
“Yes Sir.”
“Then go and find the boy with my blessing. “
“Yes Sir. Now, Sir?”
“Not quite yet. There is just one more thing. “
Chaos gazed down at his former salad chef, an affectionate smile playing on his lips.
“Yes Sir?”
“What are the three key ingredients to any cream based salad dressing?” he continued, elbowing the man on his right in the ribs.
And so it went until the locality of his son, down to the exact street number of the birthing center, was revealed and the three men promised not to teach Parsnip anything beyond basic salad assembly and maintenance.
“Let him learn his own way with the dressings, “ warned Chaos “Or I shall certainly do things to you with live snakes that simply just ought not to be done!”
The men departed, salad tongs in ruins, bruised from head to toe, and went limping on towards the distant cabbage patch, in that strange land, from whence the news of the birth he who would be the Salad Chefs of Salad Chefs had traveled.
“You know, “ Chaos said to his knitting needles “salad chefs are unequivocally annoying. Whatever was I thinking, trying to bring another one into existence?
He rang for Servant V. “Dear fellow, most faithful, placid, and honorable of all my servants you are. Do be so good as to put away my knitting.”
“At your whim and will,” replied good Servant V.
“Careful with that noise, Servant V. I am a mean individual when wielding kitchenware.”
“I hear and obey, Sir.” Servant V answered, displaying admirable forbearance lightly glittered with a dazzling lack of curiosity.
“Once you have put away my knitting, take it back out again, behind my back, unravel it, and knit it into a new and surprising shape. “
“I shall hasten to do just that, Sir.”
“Then bring me something made of leaves and water.”
“Would tea be sufficient, Sir?”
“Hmm .. tea. I never would have thought of that! You are truly a wonder Servant V. Yes, tea me, please!”
“I cherish the opportunity, Sir.”
“Then, take a few days vacation, even upwards of a week.”
Servant V’s nerve endings had an earthquake and half his composure was lost in the flood of emotions. Yet he held himself somewhat steady and replied, as he ought.
“Yes, Sir. May I ask if you have a particular sort of vacation in mind for me or do I choose my own.”
“I was thinking, my lovely Servant V, that just perhaps what you would enjoy best would be to fetch your family …”
Servant V’s nerves fairly tingled in unbelieveing, ecstatic relief.
“.. and you may use my coach and four to do so …”
It was hard for him to breath, his lungs almost collapsing in happiness.
“.. and take them with you to a certain inn where the food is purported to be of the highest caliber to be obtained for persons of your income level…”
That last remark was a bit of a low blow, but considering who it was from it probably was not meant to harm.
“and enjoy the sites as there will be much celebration in the town of Piccolo Rancido over the next week or so.”
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| The Sacred Beggar Boy Chapter 2: Salad Tossers pt 2 |
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