Nice Guys Finish... posted 10/4/2007 9:49:23 AM | 4 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: nice, love, hurt, lies

notboring

You have heard the old saying, "Nice guys finish last"? Well, on one of the new sitcoms, one character said something like,

"You know what they say about nice guys..."
"They finish last."
"No, they finish in the shower."

Ok, a little crude. I won't say how accurate, but I will say, this is one time that I think it should be, 'nice people (both men & women) finish last'.

Let’s take the talk that I am sure a lot of guys have heard, and at least some of the women have said.

The woman tells the guy, after they have talked for a while, getting to know each other, that she is surprised that his ex- or any woman can't see that he is a great guy, caring, funny, etc.... and that she knows that there is someone out there for him. Or, she thinks of him like a friend, brother, father, etc.

A comedian once said that if hears this from a woman, he is going to tell her that he has enough friends. In ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and Billy Crystal wasn’t going to be her friend as she dropped him off in New York, as rough as that may have seemed, it saved Crystal’s character, a lot of heart ache before he ‘met’ her again. Ok, we can all use friends. But I have great friends I have known for 30 years that I would do anything for and vice versa. I wasn't looking for just a friend. I was looking, and hate to dis-illusion some women, for something more than sex.

What??!!! There’s more than sex? Do I really have to take us back to the difference between sex and romance? I admit I know I am not like a lot of guys. Sports hold very little interest to me. Certain teams I am very loyal too, but just to watch any sports, not for me. I enjoy spending time talking with people, and a great conversation is better than a good meal sometimes. A verbal chess match, getting to know someone you are interested in, to gain insight into their soul, through the beautiful windows of the eyes... but I digress. In other words, I know what sensual, erotic and foreplay are, and use them. I learned a long time ago; you treat a woman well, make them feel good, they will want you to do that again and again. It just seems that I have to move Heaven and Hell or become someone I am not to get to that place. And it seems that if you treat a woman like dirt, or anyone, as I have seen woman do the same thing to guys, they keep coming back for more. Why?

People say they want one thing. ‘They want a girl, just like the girl, that married dear ole dad.' Yeah that was a song, wayyyy before my time. And of course most of the women say they want someone nice, intelligent, caring, etc, etc, etc. If the people who say this were honest, they would also ad "and more important, I want someone who is smokin hot!"

Now women will say, noooo. Oh really? Think of some guy you know who maybe very intelligent. He might work on computers; he might like Star Trek. And yeah he may live in parent’s basement. He’s nice to people, he was an Eagle scout, he played tuba. What’s wrong with him? He has a good job. Interests of his own. All the things you say you want, and he is like your best friend because you cry on his shoulder every time one of your romances go south or you slept with someone you shouldn’t have. Oh, and guys, you have one of those girls too, that you cry too also. So this is for both.

I have been out with women who may not have been what some men might think of as physically attractive. But after talking with them and being around them, their personality and intelligence made them beautiful to me. I could listen to them talk and just watch their eyes as they spoke of things that were passionate to them. That’s when someone lifts a corner of their heart and shows you their soul.

I have also been out with women who were physically gorgeous, and built like the proverbial brick house. And after having been around them, I would have chewed my arm off if she was laying on it to escape. Their personality was like fingernails on a black board.

I know some guys would say, so what? You don't talk in bed. Maybe YOU don't. But I do. I like my mind to be stimulate besides my body. Don't get me wrong. I like to get down and dirty too... but if that’s what I want, I will get that. It’s the other, the exciting of the mind, the caressing of the soul, the warm touch of gentle fingers. And I want to make her smile after a long day, to hear her sigh and relax when I massage her back and feet. To listen to her and see the light in her eyes, no further than a hand's space from my face and to feel her breath on me. To have her eye-lashes give me 'butterfly kisses' and to drink in her scent.

Ok, I'm depressing myself even more.

In closing, Nice Guys & Gals don't finish last. Finishing means we were in a race. Once we are known we are nice, we are not in a race; hell, we don't even get picked.

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