The curse of the werewolf posted 10/8/2007 9:56:41 PM | 6 kudos what's this?     report abuse

bluesouth

First of all folks, ... it ain't no fun being a werewolf. I was bitten by a chipmunk who had been bitten by a fox, who had been bitten by a bobcat who had been bitten by a werewolf. I know i'm down the chain some ..... but still I have the werewolf virus.

Do you know how it feels to walk down the street and get the urge to piss on every fire hydrant you pass?? I know I have the K-9 element inside me but this is just plain nuts!!! It makes it worse when I'm on a date. I get the urge to hike my leg when I pass by one.

Speaking of dates ..... do you know how embarrassing it is to sniff your dates butt?? It's true, ... I have this strange urge to sniff everyones butt to identify them!! No handshakes, no kiss on the cheek, ... I have to sniff their ass to know who they are. Yea, ... it's disgusting and perverted but the truth hurts!

Then there are the times when I am laying next to my date in bed on a full moon. Why do I have to howl??? My dates think I am nuts!!! I run outside and stare at the moon. No wonder my love life sucks!!

Do you know how many razors I go thru in a month?? I'm going broke!!! This hair thing is getting out of hand. The shick company is getting rich off me.

I thought about committing suicide. Do you know how much of a problem it is to find a silver bullet?? When I go to gun shops and ask for them they look at me as if I were crazy!

There are good things about being a werewolf. Dog food is pretty cheap!! Actually there are a few brands out there that taste pretty good. Of course my tick and flea medications are out of sight!!!

I guess what I'm trying to say is .... this Halloween be something else beside a werewolf. It ain't all it's cracked up to be. You have itching problems, you get the urge to chase cars down the highway, ..... and sometimes you find yourself licking yourself in public. Not a pretty site folks!!

It could be worse .... I could be like the guy on here who thinks he is Dracula. I thought I had problems!!! At least I still have a pretty good attitude about my situation.

The good news is that I can see damn good at night. I can run really fast when using all four leggs. My lover is getting into the doggie style thing during sex. She pretends to be a french poodle.

I guess if I can get over digging in dumpsters for food and chasing cars. I almost caught a squirrel yesterday!! I am getting faster!

Thats all for now. I want to go down to Petco and check out a sale they are having on premium dog food. Who knows, .... I might pick up a chew toy while I'm there!!

Later fellow K-9's!!

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Blogs by bluesouth: Ramdom thoughts about nothing The curse of the werewolf Random Redneck Thoughts. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Random Redneck Thoughts. A broken heart. Random Redneck Thoughts. Death, could we be dead wrong? Rest in peace. Death, could we be dead wrong? Death in Deadville. Death, could we be wrong? Seeing the truth. Death, could we be dead wrong? The road home. Death, could we be dead wrong? (short pause in the action) Death, could we be dead wrong? Looking for answers ..... Death, could we be dead wrong? The dead nightlife! Death, could we be dead wrong?