Hello all. I know it's been a while since I've been on, but for obvious reasons I'm very busy these days. My little man Grant is now two months old (almost, this Tuesday) and getting bigger and sweeter by the minute. We're very proud of him. His big Sissy Becca loves him beyond belief. She is convinced he is her brand new real-live baby doll that Santa Claus brought her. To see the two of them together is beyond sweet.
Coming to the issue at hand: When do you feed a baby?
Well, the answer should be painstakingly simple, should it not? Of course. You feed a baby when it's hungry. How much do you feed it? You feed it until it gets full! Right? Of course.
Why then, does every one in my life feel the need to tell me how to feed my child? My child weighed eight pounds and eleven ounces when he was born. I nursed him for the first three weeks he was here. He nursed ALL the time. I could not keep up with him. It seemed he was an extension of me. I had no time for my other child or anything else for that matter. I finally gave up with much pushing from my husband and put him on formula. He's done extremely well on the formula; he's been taking six ounces every three or four hours or so. Which, I am assured by his pediatrician that this is perfectly normal. I am also assured that I am supposed to count those hours from the time he STARTS feeding. So if he starts at say, four p.m. - he is due to eat again around seven. It doesn't matter if he didn't finish until five- he is still due to eat again at seven.
I am straying from my point. The other day I was visiting with my mother in law and my son was eating. He ate six ounces of formula and was still hungry. This is not abnormal. It has been nearly four hours since he had eaten. I went into her kitchen and fixed another two ounces for him to eat. She was holding my son and I handed her the bottle and she looked at me and informed me that there was no way he could still be hungry with as big of a bottle that he just ate.
Oh? How the hell does she know that? I am with my son twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. I'm the one that knows the signs of his hunger. He does three things when he is hungry: He roots, He sucks his fist vigorously, and He cries. When he is still hungry, he roots and sucks his fist, although not so vigorously. Which, he was doing. She gave him the bottle and he begin drinking with gusto.
He was still drinking the bottle and she pulled it away from him with an ounce left. She said she didn't think he wanted it any more.
I knew he wanted it. I heard his lips pop when she seperated the bottle from him. I got my son and the bottle and allowed him to finish. When he was finally finished he fell asleep and slept for hours. Babies have a need for their formula to INCREASE as they get bigger. People seem to overlook or not care about that in this family. While he was sleeping she, in not so many words, accused me of overfeeding him. I informed her that if I was overfeeding him then it was my business, in not so many words, of course, and that I would much rather overfeed him than to let him go hungry.
Looking back through my blog, my daughter also took six-seven ounces of formula every three hours at this stage. She didn't increase formula consumption until she was around four months old, but she was a much smaller baby - weighing nearly two pounds less than my son. I fed her and took care of her and in my humble opinion, did a fabulous job. She is three now and every pediatrician visit we have had I have been informed that she is in perfect health. She has never a day in her life been 'overfed' or underfed - for that matter.
Also, my son has been known for falling asleep on his bottle. He is still only a little baby, and gets drowsy often. At times he will only finish four ounces, so he will wake up an hour or two hours later, hungry. I will, of course, feed him. I will not let him go hungry. He usually only finishes the amount he didn't finish in the first place. Sometimes he will take more, and sleep more between feedings. Many members of my husband's family feel the need to pipe up and say "Didn't you just feed him an hour ago?" or "Is he really hungry again?" To which I would like to stand up and tell them "It's none of your f-ing business when, where, how much, and what he eats! Do you want me to let you know how often he shits and farts too!?!!!???! He might be doing too much of that for your taste!" But I calmly inform them that if they hadn't finished their dinner, they'd be hungry for a snack or something else a bit earlier too, now wouldn't they?
My husband tells me he doesn't want our son to be fat. He has struggled with his weight all of his life and he is a big man. To which I tell him: "He is a BABY. He is supposed to be fat!" He is perfectly proportioned for his length. He is nearly twenty three inches long and weighs twelve pounds. Everything for him is right on target. I want to look at my husband and inform him that I did a fabulous job with our daughter, and she is NOT fat. I want to tell these people that I got this covered, I can handle this all by myself. I don't need their OPINIONS. I have a FACT sheet from my pediatrician. Which, by the way, his last appointment he was PERFECT! But I am deathly afraid my hillbilly-white-trash mouth will start to curse them if I delve into that conversation with them.
Continued on comments~
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
|
MonkeyWoman29
|
Oct 13 @ 11:50PM
|
|
They say things like "I never remember Becca eating that much" or "I never remember Becca being almost twelve pounds at two months" and at that point I am pissed and I remind them that I never remember Becca being born with a third leg either. Grant is a DIFFERENT baby.
So.. when do you feed a baby? And what would YOU do if you were me? Curse them out one good time and tell them to eff off and mind their business and let them get over it? That's what I'd love to do. Because they just don't get the picture. It makes me feel like a bad mother for feeding my hungry child. I should add, as well, that my son is not a baby who will eat just because you give it to him. He will shove it away or pull his head away when he doesn't want any more. Ack! I hate dealing with stupid people. WWYD? What would YOU do?
Regards,
Kris
|
|
babydoll1970
|
Oct 14 @ 12:04AM
|
|
|
You feed him when YOU think he is hungry. My ex mother in law tried to tell me how to do everything with mine and I simply said "back off... they are my babies". My youngest just could not get enough to eat. I ended up switching him to a soy based formula and giving him a little cereal at 3 weeks old and she went thru the roof. To this day, my children are happy and healthy. Neither are heavy (in fact maybe a little under weight but I am the same way) and they always get good reviews at the Dr. Nobody knows your baby better than you so do what you know is right.
|
|
cartay25
|
Oct 14 @ 12:06AM
|
|
Do your best to ignore them. A mother almost always knows her baby better than anyone else if she is the one who spends the most time with them. My son was born 22 1/2 inches, 9lbs 6 oz. At the time of his birth he was the same size as his cousin who was born 2 months earlier and quickly passed him up. Not all babies are the same even if they are siblings. If you have to get a note from your pediatric doc to show your family that Grant is healthy and is within normal range. Unfortunately, you can never stop most in-laws from stating their opinion, which is always contrary to yours. Just stick with what you are doing and contiue to point out to them that you did it right the first time and it hasn't been so long ago that you forgot what to do. Best wishes and give the baby a kiss for me 
|
|
blkfoot1954
|
Oct 14 @ 12:10AM
|
|
Kris..when I had my older son he weighed a little over 9 lbs..He never lost weight..the formula didn't hold him..I gave him a little cereal at night and he slept so good..Do what you feel is best as his mother..If you are doing something wrong the dr will let you know.I know they don't want you to feed them cereal that young but our parents did us and we grew up healthy..I would not worry unless his weight was more than the Dr's would like it to be at his age..
Tell them to kiss ya arse...(kidding)..I know families mean well and think they are helping.Tell them the Dr said Grant is doing just fine the way you are feeding him..
My younger son ate every 2 hrs..Some babies need more than others.sometimes their tummies can't hold as much as they need either at one feeding and need to be fed more often..
|
|
ieguana
|
Oct 14 @ 12:10AM
|
|
|
I've got a 10 yr old daughter (she's thin as a rail) and 1 on the way. Do what you feel is best. Everyone always think they know best but you take care of the little one everyday all day. The baby can decide for himself when he is done. you know the signs. Good Luck
|
|
AutumnSilk
|
Oct 14 @ 12:10AM
|
|
I would much rather see a baby well fed than starve. I won't give advice, being prone to weight gain myself I understand your husband's concerns.
My oldest did not have ANY candy until she was almost 2, come to find out she takes after her dad's family who can eat anything and not gain weight. I was very, very careful not to feed her too much, she was breast fed til she was 9 months and never took a bottle so who knows how much she drank. She just was who she was meant to be, my interventions had little to do with how big she got...
If you son at 3 months weight 25lbs we might need to talk but otherwise, tell the do gooders to take a hike. Listen to your doctor and your mommydar.
Glad to see you back online. I was wondering how you have been....when do we get to see photos of the new addition?
|
|
sarina543
|
Oct 14 @ 12:18AM
|
|
Oh girl, I had the same problem with both of my kids. The first one was bad, but since there had been 9 and a half years between them the second was worse, like I got stupid. My first son had asthma which my mother inlaw said I just needed some creamultion or something like that and he would get all better, I took him to the dr and they said asthma, gave us some meds, and she was wrong. The dr said do they even still make that stuff? Then he had pnemonia, my fault, because I would not use vick vapo rub. My husband at the time waited for me to go to work, put that stuff on my kid, by the next morning the kid had pneumonia so bad that it almost kill my child. i swore that if anyone ever put that shit on my kid again someone was gonna die!!!!!!!!!! Then my son had heart problems that did not get found until he was 3 open heart surgery followed, once again my fault. From the beginning the child was cholicy(sp) once again my fault. You see everything was my fault, including the fact that the kid was over weight. He got over weight because his father fed him garbage, mountain dew, peanut butter cups, taco bell tacos against my request. But some how, it was my fault.
Then along came my 2nd one and every one felt they needed to tell me what to do. All I said was, last time I checked you were not a dr. This childs dr says he is fine, so I guess he is fine!!!!!!
|
|
SallyF
|
Oct 14 @ 12:34AM
|
|
|
What would I do? Exactly what you are doing.....'listen' to your baby, and blog about the frustrating interference of overly concerned family members. We're here as an impartial ear for you...no investment, simply applauding the conscientious and fine job you are doing. Give big hugs to both of those babies from their MD family :-)
|
|
thegoodideaman
|
Oct 14 @ 12:41AM
|
|
Your suppose to Feed a Baby? 
|
|
mysticlisa
|
Oct 14 @ 12:50AM
|
|
My daughter had this same question about her baby. I told her that if the baby is sucking on her fists, she's hungry. Don't worry about overfeeding until the child is ready for table food. All babies get a little fat, but when they start walking it comes off, that's why it's called baby fat.
I think too many people watch too many daytime talk shows and see extreme cases of fat babies.
Good luck to you and your sweet one.
|
|
ladyvampire
|
Oct 14 @ 1:01AM
|
|
My mother in law was a judgement Biotch.. she never thought I was good enough for her son, and when my daughter was two weeks old, (she was my first) she decided to call. I had heard so much about crib death  from his family that the first two weeks I did everything I could to stay awake. My mother was helping me with her that day and insisted I get some sleep.. Then The witch called. Why isn't she taking care of her baby? Whats wrong with her? Oh I can see she is going to be a lousy mother isn't she? The fact is, because of her mouth, I wasn't getting sleep because I was deathly afraid of crib death. When I did wake up, she called again, and again, told me what a lousy person I was to be sleeping when my baby needed me. (Crystal was on the bottle, and my mother was perfectly capable, thank you!) And they always had something to say about how much I fed my kids too. Just ignore them and do what YOU think is right. If you listen to everyone, it will drive you nuts, trust me I tried! OH, give that sweet little angel a hug for me! And feed him till he is full!!!!! And one more bit of advice, Show Mother n law respect, but at a distance.. lol
|
|
ladyvampire
|
Oct 14 @ 1:04AM
|
|
|
Oh and one more thing, I have 5 kids.. and all are healthy as a ox!!! or 5 oxen in this case!!!!!! Oh, and they are all productive and went to college..All have their own homes and great jobs! which is more than I can say for her kids!!!! My x was a high school graduate..and so were his siblings, and none of them went to college!
|
|
ladyvampire
|
Oct 14 @ 1:05AM
|
|
|
oh and congrats on the baby, and keep up the good work, you are doing great!!!!!!
|
|
ladyvampire
|
Oct 14 @ 1:05AM
|
|
|
oh and congrats on the baby, and keep up the good work, you are doing great!!!!!!
|
|
IcoleNay
|
Oct 14 @ 1:43AM
|
|
|
This is what should be said. "Yes mum, I know, you feed YOUR kids like that; however, these are MY kids and I think I can handle it from here. I don't mind an advice or two..but this is pushing it." Only my opinion. I would so say it.
|
|
Monsterboy
|
Oct 14 @ 3:21AM
|
|
|
Feed him when he's hungry. You got it. Anyone tells you toherwise is a busybody who needs to be squirted. (This, btw, is another reason I recommend breastfeeding... squirting them with one of those gets FAR better reactions than with a bottle.)
|
|
Injuneer
|
Oct 14 @ 5:48AM
|
|
Posative weight gain for an infant is an absolute necessity. While concerns about a childs diet are real, we are talking about children above the age of 2 years, not infants. At that age eating is a direct responce to hunger, unlike children that can be influenced by outside factors (television, friends, parents).
Personally, I'll go with a mothers instinct every time. There simply isn't anyone or anything that is so well connected and understands the need of an infant.
|
|
missliss78
|
Oct 14 @ 6:39PM
|
|
 Eat, sleep, poop. That's what they are suppose to do, no?
I'd use the line similar to what someone else suggested..."Grant is doing very well, the doctor says we are doing a fine job & he is a perfect speciman of health!"
I can't remember the exact statistic, but babies do their most percentage of growing in the first so many years of life. If we don't feed them when they are hungry, how the hell are they gonna grow up to be healthy kids & adults?
And to be sure, if he doesn't want a bottle, he surely isn't gonna eat just to satisfy YOU.
Good luck, Kris...it's nice to "hear" from you here!
|
|
|