We are all here for various reasons ~ most logical, sensical and ethical. But, I have been wondering:
Are we here by choice ~ or ~ are we here because we have given up on the "real world?"
I lost a dear friend last week ~ newly married ~ circumstances odd (at best) nevertheless, he waited on her for 5 years. 10 days in, she was caught cheating ~ not anyone's faullt but hers/his, as I believe he knew ~ he though that "paper" would make her honest.
When do we say, "Enough!!!" and just stop waiting, looking, hoping, wishing, pretending (really) that "he" or "she" will magiacally appear ~ or do we get to a place where it's easier to say, "I like me, just as ME" and give it up???? Or are you the eternal "glass is half full" and fear missing that "ONE" until we allow him/her in (the heart that is) so to speak, Are we wrong to avoid who might be "the one"??? Base upon history????? Or do we risk all and go it one more time??? 
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
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Blogs by GiggleAddiction:
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ShieldofHonor
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Oct 25 @ 10:21PM
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I found the "right" person once and know that I can do it again.
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takeit4granted
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Oct 25 @ 10:27PM
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all good points,,,,,to many options out there for the vast majority,,making dis-honesty epidemic. You havent cornered the market on dating frustrations 
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funguy007
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Oct 25 @ 10:32PM
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I see it a lot, sure makes you wonder.  
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GiggleAddiction
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Oct 25 @ 10:39PM
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Shield: I so think you saved my "glass is half full" attitude ~ not so much what you said ~ merely that you "found" her or she found you ~ kudos~~~ 
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roythead
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Oct 25 @ 10:43PM
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I know how that works. I waited for my "true love" when she married my best freind just to teach me not to spend time with anyone else. married her, and then she cheated. Always thought love would conquer all. so now i just look on here. Keep hoping, maybe someday it will happen.
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JimNastics
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Oct 25 @ 10:47PM
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GA - I think there are a myriad of reasons different people are here.
Personally, I haven't given up on anything, but I am truly enjoying
the heck out of the wonderful people here and am very glad that you joined,
because I believe you may be one of them.
"This could be the start of a beautiful friendship."
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GiggleAddiction
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Oct 25 @ 10:49PM
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I must confess ~ my pal died ~ i know he agonized over that women for years ~ today ~ I'd like to just hug him and tell him what a waste of human skin she is/was/and always will be ~ shame on me ~ but that girl is one of those that I defend staunchly "one's man trash is another man's treasure." I tend to believe that we are seen in the light of someone else's eyes ~ can that be true to the point of blindness???? If I am "human trash" (as can be viewed) is there alwqys someone who will love you regardless????
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estoyaqui
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Oct 25 @ 10:51PM
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I wrote a bunch on this at one time. I used to be set on finding my "soul-mate" and in that I placed unreasonable expectations on my relationships. This was a mistake and I highly recommend that no one follow that example. I'm 33 now, should I just at some point say, hey you know what about just accepting a girl I find attractive who we are compatible enough that I could see myself living with her forever even if she maybe doesn't fulfill some of my emotional and/or intellectual needs. What happens if I do this and then my "soulmate" does all the sudden fall into my life? Another point you brought up, I wonder why people think that marriage might fix a broken relationship, how backwards is that mindset? I wonder why people feel the need to rush into marriage, I mean if they plan on being together forever, whats the point on rushing in. Honestly I think people change at different rates and find each other at different points in their lives and its important to take time to make sure you are both going at the same rate in the same direction and not just happening upon each other at a juncture in your lives where compatibility might be short lived.
It seems like its been forever since I have even run across a girl that even gives me hope much less ambition to pursue something whole heartedly. I have been single for over 2 years now, wow. But you know, I am not desperate. Though I do miss the semantics of a relationship, I have become complacent with being single. I would rather be single then to be in an over consuming relationship with someone who wasnt right to begin with just so I could try to fill a a circle void with a square peg.
As for combing the Internet for a solution... Lets face it, whats the chances of your soul-mate being down the street from you, shopping at your grocery store, working at your work or being one of your good friends sibling? I think the Internet removes so many hurdles such as location, distance, timing, it provides exposure to millions instead of 100's, it mitigates initial impressions and in general brings the possibility of finding a soul-mate to a much more realistic playing field.
So how about that I answer your question with more questions and throw in my 2 cents for you to pass on, spend or invest.
-Shawn
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hobolobo
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Oct 25 @ 11:01PM
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I was married once for ten years, and once for twenty years. Both ended in divorce due to their infidelity. I think instead of wedding vows, they looked at them as options. The trouble is I take them serious and would never consider cheating in a marital relationship, and so I do not put up with it. Love, Honor, and Fidelity are a two way street and if you still want to wander, the last thing you should consider is marriage.
I have been divorced for four years now, and this site is the one that I have dated from, it seems safe, people know the rules. I have met many lovely women on this site and enjoyed their company and we had lots of fun.
I think my attitude is twice burned, thrice shy and so I am enjoying being single for now. I do not think my expectations are too hi. All I ask is to abide by a few wedding vows, and I will be your most loyal friend and lover .
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Wolf36
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Oct 25 @ 11:01PM
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I haven't given up yet but I have lowered any expectations.
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takeit4granted
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Oct 25 @ 11:04PM
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giggles,,you were,,are that woman? ( confussed look )
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Injuneer
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Oct 25 @ 11:04PM
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Reward rarely comes without risk, but over time the scars of reality can cover what little vision we have of a future that includes anything more than ourselves, nursing our wounds. When we put such a large price upon ourselves, few can afford the price and even fewer are willing to take the risk.....and thus the vicious circle continues ....
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bunbona
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Oct 25 @ 11:10PM
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so sorry about your friend.
i think myself, i do the online thing because i am slightly (okie, maybe more so) agoraphobic in a way. i am lucky if i leave this farm 2x a month, mostly to get feed for the animals. so obviously, it's kind of hard to meet the man of your dreams when you don't go anywhere !! (i have one, so it doesn't really matter any more) as for the glass half full, half empty, mine is ALWAYS half full despite the way it appears from my blogs. i firmly FIRMLY believe in love.
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dt3d2001
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Oct 25 @ 11:15PM
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great blog GA
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GiggleAddiction
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Oct 25 @ 11:43PM
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giggles,,you were,,are that woman? ( confussed look )
One time note to you personally: I allow all posts (regarldless of opinion.) I think we all have the right to opine. However, if you EVER disgrace me, my love for someone else or anyone else on this site (or in the human race in general) ~ you will not be received well in my world or again in my blog. Whether that means jack to you or not, I don't care. Don't EVER place me in a position to defend those I love, care about and have had a relationship with again. If you are so inept at public speaking ~ refrain from doing so, please. Otherwise, post accorging to original post ~ or better yet, wander over to POF where haters, mysogamists and overall azzholes are welcome. (To answer your question: No I'm not her....the love of my life didn't get cheated on and commit suicide.....care to discuss this further, by all means, grace my inbox, I fear you'll be rather ~ errrrrrr ~ neutered when we're done.) but that's just my opinion.
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takeit4granted
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Oct 25 @ 11:49PM
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my apologies,,,there was no malicious intent,,it was the way you worded it
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Chickapea
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Oct 25 @ 11:58PM
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Nothing happens just by chance , And I,ll tell you why I believe this. My Friend also died 2 years ago, He was qeeckless , fookish But I loved him to pieces. We went on toad trips and he knew his life would be short and always said to me , I,m gonna send you someone just like me only worse.
We would laugh and laugh about it till I had years in my eyes.
Its been 2 years next month and last October I met my Friend Chuck.
Je is the same age as my friend was when we met, Much younger then me.
He is so messed up , imature , insecure and sometimes a real pain.
But ya know what I love him , I have tried to walk away amd I just can,t. He makes me smile and laugh in spite of how screwed up he is.
MY POINT IS-----I don,t believe we have a say in who or what our future holds. He is the last person I ever thought I,d fall for. It makes me mad too because I am a control freak .
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GiggleAddiction
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Oct 26 @ 12:01AM
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ROTFFLMFAO ~ this is certainly a first. An apology blaming me for someone's reading comprehensive issues. No need splitting hairs ~ In the future, maybe take note: An apology is when you say you are sorry for miscommunication, misunderstanding or out and out wrong-doing. And you mean it. You don't blame it on someone else.
I do appreciate the effort. I lost the love of my life about three years ago, now I lost my best friend ~ read closely: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY WHEN YOU OUT AND OUT HURT SOMEONE WITH WORDS ~ OTHERWISE STOP SPEAKING/TYPING. It's a tough lesson ~ one worth learning. Best of luck to you ~ 
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AvalancheBlonde
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Oct 26 @ 12:18AM
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GA: I am so sorry for your loss girlfriend, that makes me very sad. I think love is very powerful, while it can give a person a reason to live and thrive, I think it can also cause a soul to die.
Peace be with you my friend.
Sherr
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GiggleAddiction
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Oct 26 @ 12:21AM
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MY POINT IS-----I don,t believe we have a say in who or what our future holds. He is the last person I ever thought I,d fall for. It makes me mad too because I am a control freak .
Thank you for the post ~ well taken. Yes, I think you may have a poiint ~ I would have rather controlled him than lost him. Very valid obsevation. 
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perhapsluv
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Oct 26 @ 12:38AM
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51% of American women are now single and intend to stay that way, I think that tells us a lot about how relationships are working out in the US at least. I admit I am picky, I don't want to just settle, so I prefer being alone with friends to do things with or going off on my own, it doesn't bother me anymore. My life will not stop simply because I do not have a SO. So I guess we have gone from meeting people in bars to meeting those same people online. Personally, I don't think anyone under the age of 60 (70, 80) should give up, but I also don't think anyone should just settle in order to not be alone. As for your friend, ohhhh my, what to say? There are sooooo many people like his "wife" - the users, takers, manipulators, people with no conscience whatsoever. I've known more than my fair share of them but I refuse, [B]absolutely refuse to let them make my life miserable, I intend to enjoy as much of it as I can as often as I can-whether with someone or all by myself. Because I am not going to let some mean, no-hearted azzhole change my love of life and the things I value. And one of the things I value is a person like you GA, so value yourself and let the rest go....
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GiggleAddiction
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Oct 26 @ 12:47AM
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~Perhaps~ Right as usual. Thank you. I'll be fine ~ it just takes a little getting used to I suppose. Boy, I remember when all of my friends where just "here." Seems we lose them in droves anymore. This one ~ especially tragic, and needless, and of the utmost magnitudal losses ~ why? Because he was the ONE with a warped/twisted sense of humor just like me. Boy ~ we can lose some and cry, but when we lose the laughter ~ it's so much more difficult. Thank you for the post ~ and hey ~ some guy just called me a hick ~ WTF????? Guess he hasn't looked up Who's Who, Guess What or Mensa ~ PFT.....everyone should belong to Guess What, I mean really ~ is there anything else that matters???? HA. 
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Nightowl001
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Oct 26 @ 12:59AM
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I think what you're talking about is a unique form of hubris. The subtle conviction underneath it all that WE are the ONE, and that we can change someone. So, we find someone who seems to fit what we want, and we ignore those little things we believe they will be willing to change for US (and of course, only US). Then comes the ego devastation of finding out we weren't really that important to them, that they were willing to change. And if we were wrong about that, what could we be right about?
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Kentuck
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Oct 26 @ 1:29AM
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I do not think it is you, it is just a way of life any more. I think as we get older and wiser our pool of selectable people become smaller. I like to think like the old movie series ""Gomer Pile"" SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE 
Being here on MD is different for most people. For me, I like the blogs. I rarely check the profiles unless I have a going conversation with someone. I like to know a little about the people I chat with.
as far as giving up on finding a soul mate, I do not think the call of nature will allow you. but, spending a lot of time at it is a no no. It is like the lottery, you have to play to win. So one has to make themself available.
The big question is what are you looking for??
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mystery2u888
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Oct 26 @ 1:48AM
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 Hey Girly.......   I have waited......for what I thought was the perfect person....only to find out..........it was just all fake.....my worse fear of everything I am against............and I knew him for 12 yrs........when the time is right.......as I do believe in timing.......the person will come around....can't work too well when the plate is full...........and I am not going back to the relationship.........of me doing everything........... ........no thank you.........    when something is right I think you know it in your heart.............actions speak volumes.......and when I see those actions dissappear........and promises broken..and or excuses...........I dissappear......very quickly........this is a great blog...... 
xoxo
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mystery2u888
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Oct 26 @ 1:49AM
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Hey Girly....... I have waited......for what I thought was the perfect person....only to find out..........it was just all fake.....my worse fear of everything I am against............and I knew him for 12 yrs........when the time is right.......as I do believe in timing.......the person will come around....can't work too well when the plate is full...........and I am not going back to the relationship.........of me doing everything........... ........no thank you......... when something is right I think you know it in your heart.............actions speak volumes.......and when I see those actions dissappear........and promises broken..and or excuses...........I dissappear......very quickly........this is a great blog......
xoxo
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sexyeyes755
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Oct 30 @ 7:31PM
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I think i'm too ~JADED~! Sing it again Steven...............................
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