Extremist Muslim Athiests Claim Responsibility For So Cal Fires... posted 10/26/2007 9:39:46 PM | 17 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: blog, sarcasm, paint stripper, salad tongs

PullMyFinger

But the communique was plagiarized....Bastids!

It's just a pissing contest, but unfortunately the contestants never seem to run out of piss~John McCarthy

I’m sitting here with nothing to do. I stripped a door built in the 30s caked with 300 layers of paint today, so if I go off in a tangent about something that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, pretend I’m someone else, or go to the latest Athiest blog, check out the comments and see how fkn stupid someone can be without the aid of leaded paint. I’m sorry, it’s entirely possible the dildo did chew on the windowsill when young, if that’s the case I apologize profusely…it’s not nice making fun of the mentally ill. I’ve done it in the past and feel terrible about it.

I imagine those in the past sitting in the corner of a dark and dank room, rocking back and forth mumbling to themselves, “I hate PMF, I hate PMF”….then wrapping a mouse cord around a ceiling beam, then a couple of turns around their neck. They slowly slide off their computer chair, keyboard in hand, their last thoughts focused on my meanness….Paramedics finding them weeks later, half eaten by fluffy, excreting body fluids…a slow creak of the ceiling beam as they swing back and forth.

Hopefully they youtubed it…sorry.

Sci is going through an online human relations course for work right now, a voice is asking questions like:

If Monica wore a rather revealing skirt to work and Ken walked up behind her and honked her rather ample ass cheeks, what are Monica’s options?

Well, the answers range from ignoring it to signing a formal complaint and shit like that. First of all, Ken’s a dumbass, in many a large workplace there are chicks a’plenty with tight bumpers, why waste your time with a fat ass? I’m talking common sense here! Monica should be happier than shit someone actually touched her Godzilla sized caboose anyway. Some asses require a back-up alarm. I actually placed that in a suggestion box once. That didn’t go over very well, especially when I brought in a pair of LED’s attached to a little alarm clock.

I have a comment about all this troll shit going on right now. The whole thing reeks of an MD Witch Hunt. I’d like to make something clear, we who consider ourselves professional trolls DO NOT appreciate you fundamentalist banana dancing dipshits calling EVERYONE a troll. Becoming a troll takes years of practice, a certain style is required and that can only be obtained by years and years of apprenticeship. I think we can all agree, if you’re to be trolled, you’d like a certain je ne sais quoi, non?

Anyway, it strikes me as funny that the very same people who shout from the rooftops that trolls should be gathered up, staked down on anthills, stoned and removed from the pages of MD are in fact, resorting to trollish behavior. I fkn love it.

Sorry, I used a nasty word….fk. Someone got all pissy with me on my last blog for using profanity. I deleted their comment and they went ballistic. The Animal Farm escapee oinked out a blog chastising me. Sorry. I promise to limit my profanity use so you dumbfking fkstains won’t be offended. I’m all about fair play. I do notice though, those people who ARE offended by my blogs read the whole bloody thing. I make ya horny don’t I?...admit it.

Someone else complained of my use of adjectives and nouns. I boo booed in describing an old person. It’s like I pissed in their Efferdent™, shit in their Gold Bond™ and poked a hole in their support hose. So, I’m sorry I used “Old Broad” as a descriptor. I should have used “Old Cranky Broad”. That’s two adjectives to describe my noun. I can’t help some people are ancient and I certainly didn’t name names now did I?

BINGO!!...psyche….just kidding.

Sci is still taking that HR test. I don’t envy her. Being the male chauvinist pig I am, I’d just bugger it up. I’m a tolerant guy though, I’m all about this new I’m ok, you’re ok shit. If you’re a fudgepacker, that’s cool. If you have a hairy ass and like to dress in women’s clothes like some sideshow freak, that’s cool too.

I just backspaced again. I initially wrote about an experience with paint stripper, some WD40 and my butt…but I though better of it. You owe me.

Ok, she’s done. It’s time to don the Speedo™, chase her around the house in a diving mask, armed with some duct tape and salad tongs.

Peace & Love………heh, just kidding, I hope you get rabies….just kidding, no I don’t, as far as you know.

Oh, the more you zipperheads fight, the more entertainment you provide the rest of us, please for the love of everything holy, don’t stop. Oh yeah, I was kidding about the Extremist Muslim Athiests...or was I?



Yer Pal…

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