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posted 11/4/2007 12:33:21 PM |
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tagged: dating, psychology, sex, ebay
  Xanadath

I kinda wish I could get a log of who clicks on my blogs. I might have a finer appreciation of my audience and perhaps adjust the nature of my blogs to fit their interests.

I admit the title was pandering to a baser nature. Buzz words say so much without saying anything, nes pas?

There is something to be said of catering to the id...

The id is responsible for our basic drives such as food, sex and aggressive impulses. It is amoral and egocentric, ruled by the pleasure-pain principle; it is without a sense of time; completely illogical; primarily sexual; infantile in its emotional development; will not take 'no' for an answer. It is regarded as the reservoir of the libido or "love energy".

A popular interpretation of the id is not that it is "convincing" the mind to ignore social norms, but rather in itself just does not take social norms into account when 'thinking' or 'acting'. The id is the primal, or beast-like, part of the brain, determined to pursue actions that are pleasurable, such as eating or copulation. The prime motive of the id is self-survival, pursuing whatever necessary to accomplish that goal.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id%2C_ego%2C_and_super-ego

It's a catering to my desire for companionship that I adjust my search parameters to include longer and longer distances from me... to check out profiles without pictures... to be open minded about women with children... to generally be willing in some part to compromise to one degree or another in whom I am willing to get my interest and start a dialogue with.

Is this desperation or a sense of futility of meaningful connection with potential partners closer to me? I don't know. I do know that a "perfect" match is so unlikely that I may be looking for a-very-long-time if I keep my search too "high minded".

Shouldn't I want and seek someone who will best match me?

Sure.

But... time being something of a factor, a sense of immediacy (perhaps also the "instant gratification gene") tugs on the impulse and I go into a phase of wondering if I might be so lucky to find a really close match who lives a long ways away but might be willing to relocate to here.

Am I very selfish in wanting to bias my thinking towards that venue? Perhaps. It's also a measure of fantasy wish fullfillment.

I often wonder about the nature of being on a dating site.

Is this the weirdest thing or what?

We're here to be open minded to starting a relationship, perhaps fall in love and find ourselves willing to compromise in order to have a greater measure of the fullfillment we lack.

It definately seems to be a balancing act. It also feels a bit like some kind of batering process or diplomatic negotiations...

"I'll give up this thing if you bend on that issue... and then maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle... and then we might find some gratification with each other..."

Not picky enough... and you might not be pleased for very long, if at all. Too picky, and you might be waiting a long time.

This inner compromise must debate the issues with your id, and the battle goes back and forth internally as the dread "alone and bored" symptoms wax and wane as the weeks turn to months and years.

If I did know who clicked on my blog, or profile, or whatever... would I be more eager to make a quick "barter" of my desires and compromise some things to get one step closer to companionship... or would I seek out better ways to advertise myself as attempt to sell my assets on a "as is" basis?

Or... is this all a generalized "as is, best offer" kinda method of advertising myself here that I should be content with until the right "buyer" comes along?

I just hope the goods don't depreciate over time. I know the temptation to lower the opening "bidding price" gets stronger as time passes.

No answers here, just food for thought as I look... and wonder... and send out a few e-mails now and again... and wonder.

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by Xanadath:
Pro-Death
How Much Love And Peace Are We Talking About?
True Love Is Made Of Plastic (Or Rubber)
Creationism 101
Across The Universe
On Valentine's Day
Screenwriter's Strike
Sexual Innocence
Sex, Abortion, Contraception and Education (Part Three)
Sex, Abortion, Contraception and Education (Part Two)
Sex, Abortion, Contraception and Education (Part One)
Live! Hot! Nude! Sex! Free Drinks! Buffet! All You Can Eat Chocolate! Read Me!
Killing Kittens
My God Is Better Than Yours
Abortions For Jesus
The Evil Scourge Of "Them"
O.J., Iraq And Other Trivial Things
Generic 9-11 Blog
God, Dinosaurs, Linguistics and Kosher Meals
Time Is On My Side (continued)
Time Is On My Side
Let's Do It Like They Do It On The History Channel
Burning Bridges (A Rant In C-Minor)
You're Just Plain Wrong
For Her Pleasure


Comments:
misschoos

Nov 4 @ 12:38PM  
You can see who looked at your profile if you get membership.
Mellajenn

Nov 4 @ 12:41PM  
I am assuming being on a date with you is not at all boring...
Xanadath

Nov 4 @ 12:44PM  
I don't know if that's a good thing or not, misschoos. Would it help me or give me a false sense of "oh, she's interested in me" when she might have just checked out a few pics and got bored with my profile and blogs... ignorance of such things might be better. Maybe I'll get desperate enough to try it at some point and find a new level of frustration in the process.
Hansumm

Nov 4 @ 12:46PM  
Xanadath

Nov 4 @ 12:48PM  
I am assuming being on a date with you is not at all boring...

I think MD should offer testimonials... but what a double edged sword that would be.

I'm not boring if you like lots of varied conversation. I'm dull as hell if you're into things I couldn't care less to do. But hey, I'll try anything once. I've even done kareoke and lived to tell the tale.
Juday470

Nov 4 @ 1:18PM  
gmichael52

Nov 4 @ 2:03PM  
Hmmm... I thought this was a title for a new Brian Setzer Cd, lol.

I think in some ways that when some of us first came here we had an ideal of what we sought out. I still hold that basic ideal but choose to go about it in a different way. I'm not out to hard sell myself and I don't want to find a carbon copy clone of myself. However, there's certain things that I look for in people and that's what's important to me.

I've seen a number of blogs here and I often walk away from this thinking that
a lot of people have set themselves up for failure. There's a slightly different set of rules for online interaction and I think many try to approach this using the same "old school" methods. While you are stripped of one important tool (observation) you do have one good one- communication.

I don't intent to come off vague, and I could say more regarding this and a few other things- but I really don't want to share my thoughts beyond this statement too loudly in public, however I will discuss it in private.
cartay25

Nov 4 @ 2:37PM  
Just keep blogging as your true self and don't lower your standards. You wouldn't be very happy if you settled instead of finding what you were looking for in the first place. Instant gratification is nice but not very long lasting. As you continue to blog and comment more people will see the real you and then you may find the audience that you seek. Good luck and best wishes.
chris549547

Nov 4 @ 3:19PM  
yea...what cartay said
atropos319

Feb 28 @ 9:25AM  
I know of no blog commenting rule that prohibits testimonials so ...

I am assuming being on a date with you is not at all boring...

It's not.


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