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Nucking Futs... "CLEAR"... Rain and Rubbers in the Back Pew

posted 11/15/2007 9:11:59 PM |
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  luvshorses644

I swear by all that is holy, people never cease to amaze me. I thought that the other night here in blogland at MD was the pieaze d' resistance ... ah, friggen.... "mudder lode of chit", but nah.... there are even frikken azzzholes within my job.

It all began yesterday at 0500 when my coworker who stayed the night at my house and I awoke to get my chores done (and for her to get ready for our 2-1/2 hour ride to Camp Hill for a CPR and AED course). We left my house at 0600 and hit the roads for our joyous trip to the designated house of dementia. About 1/2 hour onto 81 we hit the fog barrier .. thicker than pea soup. Good thing I have those alarmy thingies that sound like radar in my blood which were wailing for us to get an early start for our 0900 class. It was to be a 3 hour class with a personal test afterward.

Driving in fog as thick as cotton on a windy day is not my idea of a joyful day on the roads... but nonetheless, we were registered and damnittohell we were gonna become certified. I like to stay a few car lengths away from whatever it is I can see on the roadways in that type of fog so that if there is a crash I won't become part and parcel of a pileup.. thank you very much. I don't know about anyone else, but driving with that type of tension in my neck and shoulders with my eyes straining to make out what is ahead leaves me with terrible aches that only my Sam Elliott baby with his smooth and gliding hands and tender voice leaning over and whispering in my ear can ease (damn... I got carried away there.. and hell no I ain't sorry).

Our instructors were fun and they made the course not so much of a chore.. and I gotta tell you that this ole gal needs to get out more... cuz giving that CPR dummy which we named Bob (not my idea.. I am pleading innocent on all counts) those deep breaths and touchin that skin-like torso was almost kinda hot... (I am soooo frikken not right).

But, I did get to strap the paddles on that torso and yell 'CLEAR' loud and proud and these ole lips may have a few miles on them.. but I gotta tell you they can still encase the entire mouth area and my lungs are still working as I inflated Bob's pastie (albeit life-like feeling) chest. So... whenever there be a need, I can still blow into a man's mouth and inflate his... lungs.. yeah, that's what I am meaning (hellno, but go with it... k???).

Once back on the road for home we hit fog so thick we were crawling home... and the tension just built in my shoulders.. where the hell are all those hunky masseusers when you need em????? When we arrived back at my coworker's car, which she left at an easily accessible road to her way home, there was 45 minutes left of the work day, and I decided that since it would take another 15 minutes to get to work to go back for 1/2 hour (not counting the travelling time of almost 5 hours) would be ridiculous. But today, the gal that I thought had been my friend for the last 22 years, questioned why we didn't come back for that 1/2 hour... so I looked incredulously at her and said.. "not to worry, I will fill out a slip for 1/2 day of vacation which should cover both mine and hers (my coworkers) time with hours left over which will be deducted from my vacation allotment.. happy?" and walked away. (My coworker has a lot of medical problems right now and cannot spare the time from her allotment, so I covered it... with hours to spare).

Then I took my lunch at the end of the day, which was met with raised eyebrows even though I had told everyone that I was using my lunch hour to give apherises to a 12-year gal I am coupled with.. and was volleyed with.. "didn't you just give blood 2 weeks ago?" Not even deserving of an answer.. so I departed.

I guess I will never get over the fact that there are people in this lifetime that feel they are rulers of time, money, compliments, rudeness .. you name it.. but you know what, when all is said and done, someone is seeing their little act and in the end they will be the ones that are sorry. You see, all the acting in the world and righteous indignation at those that see through that act ain't gonna account to no hill o beans.. once you are outted .. you are outted... I see nucking futs people...

and for gramps:

The back pew

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.? After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost. After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers." The entire congregation said, "Amen."

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Blogs by luvshorses644:
Breaking News... from the crew of WCRAP Live in Stillwater....
A Boy and His Dog and Lessons of Unconditional Love...
May the bird of happiness fly up your nose.. me too, let's get a drink
Close your eyes and breath in deeply.. yuppers, it is my Christmas tree!!!
Interactive poetry .. copyright luvhorses 2007
Landslide.. Part III of The Death of Love....
Good Times Never Seemed so Good... I feel inclined to believe they never would
Scents sent to you..put your nose right here.. no..more to the right.. perfect!
Baby Boomers.. what the frik are ya thankful for????
Winner at a Losing Game... continuation & pickup from And the Thunder Rolled
And the Thunder Rolled.....
Cleansing by snow.. wish it were that easy in life.. calories burned during sex!
Nucking Futs... "CLEAR"... Rain and Rubbers in the Back Pew
The Beauty of Dreams... whispers of your soul... Touchdown
Time for Me to Fly .. Heynabonics
On the Edge of Darkness....
Because of Me... Because of You.. because.. just because...
Everything is Different Now.. the joy of the invisible middle finger .. and....
Let It Be.. Smile Because at this Very Moment you Are Loved!
The Three Kick Rule... Instant Gratification and Me...
Witches/Salem .. What you think, you are! ... Billy Graham's Brush w/the Law
Vultures/Birds of Prey Circling.. Gather the Women & Children... Protect Eyes!
Never Judge a Book by Its Cover... and Sex Therapy
Because there is an erection, even after the man says no......
A tribute to a friend...


Comments:
missliss78

Nov 15 @ 9:22PM  






Some people can just be hard to take, huh?
whatagal

Nov 15 @ 9:25PM  
So... whenever there be a need, I can still blow into a man's...

And to top it all off with Gramp's joke, I can tell where your mind is tonite!
sciurusniger

Nov 15 @ 9:32PM  
So you're officially certified now, eh?






~*~
Classy_Blonde

Nov 15 @ 9:38PM  
whatagal said:
And to top it all off with Gramp's joke, I can tell where your mind is tonite!

At least she is thinking "safe".

I'm wondering if you slipped Bob the tongue (?).

oceanlover734

Nov 15 @ 9:38PM  
I needed to read something to make ROTFLMAO, thank you sis. OMG I laughed and I laughed. Good damn thing for you the little girl is fast asleep . Ya know she already wonders about me laughing my azz off while staring into this screen . You are a hoot!
bardnsage

Nov 15 @ 9:46PM  
There's one in every class.......that tries to make out with the dummy.
iam7545

Nov 15 @ 10:14PM  
"Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

Loreli

Nov 15 @ 10:43PM  

I loved it!
(But, I'm nucking futs, too!
fenderchick

Nov 15 @ 11:03PM  
Good blog.
RainSongSpirit

Nov 15 @ 11:45PM  
omg nice blog.......glad you are back
Palomino

Nov 15 @ 11:51PM  
I'm glad my CPR and ACLS classes are covered by allotted education days. Which reminds me...I'm due for a recert in February. Ugh.

A precious kudo for you, Luvs!

~*~
beckyiv42000

Nov 16 @ 11:12AM  
this was so wonderfully worded I was right there when you yelled *CLEAR* btw did the dummys hair smoke from the charge??
misschoos

Nov 16 @ 12:55PM  
I asked you before about the rubbers?






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Nucking Futs... "CLEAR"... Rain and Rubbers in the Back Pew