Lessons learned in 20 years posted 11/26/2007 12:03:55 AM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse

stickshiftsally

Today was my youngest son's 20th birthday. I have celebrated the 20th birthday of two sons before him and they were each special, but this was different for several reasons. First, I no longer am the mother of teenagers...yes, I survived the teenage years! In addition to that, my youngest son, Alex, has taught me more about life than any one person I have known. Alex has Fragile X Syndrome. He has a seizure disorder that often requires CPR and is mentally handicapped. He has damage to the part of his brain that controls behavior, impulsivity and short term memory. His speech is difficult to understand by non-family members and he is a rather large young man due to the medication that controls his seizures. I'm absolutely certain that he must be frightening to the average person. In his teenage years, he was violent and extremely aggressive particularly toward me. For several years, I literally forced him to go to school while he pinched, punched and bit me while trying to jump from my moving vehicle on the way. There were many days when I cried all the way to work after dropping him off because I felt so helpless in caring for him. When he walked at his "graduation" there wasn't a dry eye in the stadium and I couldn't have been prouder of him. As his body has gotten older and his hormones have finally settled down (whew!) he has become a very kind, gentle and thoughtful young man. His mind is still that of a 6 year old--he cannot read and doesn't understand why he can't drive a car like his brothers. He would like to have a wife and family like his brothers, but is content to spend his time visiting the myriad of relatives that shower him with love and acceptance. His innocence and trusting nature are refreshing. I reminded my 5 year old grandson that he needed to be good because Santa's elves are watching and Alex quickly reminded me that they are watching him too and he's been VERY good this year. So Santa will visit Alex every Christmas as long as I have any say about it. His greatest joy is speaking to people over the phone or in person and he is totally nonjudgmental. His heart is wide open and he is the favorite uncle to my 4 and 5 yr, old grandsons. Today as we were travelling to his brother's he reached over and took my hand and said, "Mom, I 20 today, but I still be your baby." Oh, and did I mention he's a mind reader, too? Out of the mouths of babes...even 20 year old babes. Alex thought we were celebrating his birthday today, but in my heart, I was celebrating the priceless gift I received 20 years ago when God honored me by letting me be Alex's mother.

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Blogs by stickshiftsally: An unusual dilemma And the band played on...sort of Kids Say the Darndest Things Dogs and babies Boys will be boys He's Going Home! Update on my little miracle A bump in the road The miracle continues Do you believe in miracles? My Hospital Adventure Another reminder of the meaning of Christmas Lessons learned in 20 years The Cycle of Life