Last week, due to my company messing up travel arrangements to my latest work assignment, I found myself visiting my Mother for the first time in 11 weeks the night before my plane flight.I now live four hours away from her; it would be less but you should see the traffic on the M25. Anyways, I drive up and see her for the fist time in nearly three months, and even those first words were difficult. We have had our differences in the past, and its true to say that I have issues with her; but thats by the by. Then came the question, what do you want to watch on tv tonight? Those of you who read my words will know apart from sport I really don't watch TV and certainly don't study the schedules. I was stupid enough to think we would talk or pass the time some other way. Sure enough, though, she decided watch to watch, and what to record on other channels. And after dinner we sat down for a night of telly. I sat there for 5 minutes, or until hwever long the credits to Emmerdale take and the domestic 'scene' was set up. Anyway, thanks to the wonders of modern life I was able to call up friends I had long been ignoring for months and have long conversations about box girder bridges, or some such important manner.
The thrust of this, ignoring the issues I have with her, is that this intelligent, clever woman now spends hours, days in her armchair watching TV. She is not alone in that, I know. But she is my flesh and blood. We had not met for nearly three months and the conversation lasted 10 minues. She thought as we were having comfortable silences we were happy with each other; sadly, I was just bored. She has enough time and (insurance) money to travel the world, meet interesting people, andgenerally do the things she sees on TV. Instead she chooses to sit at home and eat and eat and eat. This is a sad life, and nother different from taking a place in the waiting room and seeing when the reaper is going to call her number. She is registered diabled, but could improve her life if she wanted. But is planning a life ahead of disability, how she can make life easier whilst over eating and not moving.
She says she is happy; and maybe she is. But this is not the woman I grew up with, not the forceful person who used to stike terror into salemenaccross town. She is now pale and timid, and a tv addict.
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misschoos
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Nov 30 @ 3:06PM
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Maybe she is happy. 
Can you put more paragraphs in your blogs please?
I like to read your blogs, but do find it hard. 
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KnittinKitten
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Nov 30 @ 4:14PM
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Dear Ian:
How sad for you. I don't know how old mom is, but, right now, at 71, I will not even think of such a thing. I placed myself in an Adult RV Park....and, am literally SURROUNDED by hundreds of people...have every activity known to mankind right at my fingertips......have movies and shows, restaurants, music, dancing, and, you name it, just minutes away.....my activities with church and Bible studies take me to other groups of people at least twice weekly. I have occasional dates.....yup....off the internet,too. And, of course, there still is television, and computer, whenever I wish. I cook and sew, step out with my Red Hat Ladies group. I don't feel compelled to do this....I go when and as I wish.
I cannot imagine being that stationary....but, who knows what time will bring. Does mom have access to ANY of the things I have mentioned? Is there ANY chance that she might be clinically depressed?....thereby having no interest in anything? Is she at all ameniable to relocating to an area where there might be more people available to her with whom to share life and do things?
It is not a happy time for you to see a loved one go through these changes, but, if you have done everything in YOUR power to change it and you CANNOT, I pray that you have the power to accept it as best you can......It's not easy.
My thoughts are with you......and....thanks for keeping in touch, you already know I CARE.
Sincerely,
JUDY
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redtigr
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Nov 30 @ 8:51PM
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I'm not sure if this is relevant to your mother's case - but this struck me as similar to a very old friend of mine. My friend has lived alone for many many years and lived a very solitary existence in his work as well. When I knew him years ago, television was the last thing he'd ever watch as he was "disgusted" by it..
A few years ago he began taking Ambien and something for depression (Welbutrol?). He gradually began to watch more and more television as a last resort when he couldn't sleep - and because he was lonely. It became, in a way, his friend because he felt somehow soothed when it was on. He even says it's partially because as he gets older, it's just easier to watch TV than to go out to a movie or read (eyesight failing somewhat - and a failing attention span.)
But I have watched how he has changed and I've read the side effects of the drugs he takes, and what I see is that his mind is affected by these medications.
Whatever the cause, it is sad to see.
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enigmasrook
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Nov 30 @ 9:02PM
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Great blog, jell.  
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