...since I've seen my youngest daughter so happy and comfortable in her own skin, and I feel blessed each time I hear her laugh.
She's had a pretty rocky road, but she's always been a loving little girl who can shine like a ray of sunshine on a dismal day. I used to call her my angel slash terrorist (always in a proud voice)....... but now she's just my angel, because even her worst pranks have a way of making me smile through the tears....Like the time she polished the living room furniture with toothpaste, or tried to make me breakfast.......oh I can't even think of that without my stomach lurching.
Making people laugh has always been a love of hers, and if she hits on something that gets a laugh, she won't stop til ya cry "Uncle Dougley eats peanuts". These days though, she's testing out her creative abilities. Singing, dancing, character mimicry, crafts......so much talent in one little person. She wants to be a "rock star" but without the "rock" when she grows up. I pray she chooses something different, but if that is her dream for now, I encourage her to practice and become confident.
I've let this girl down so many times, in so many ways, it shames me to admit it. It's a constant effort to stay on top of all the changes she goes through as she grows and matures, but I do try. It's not like I don't love her....oh, I do, with my whole being. I'm just not really "mom" material. So I struggle to learn. I feel lucky that she is so forgiving and loving and affectionate with me. I don't think I deserve it, and am blessed that she still loves me.
You see, stress and opposing personalities have gotten between us so many times. Lousy excuse, I know. Role models weren't in abundance for me either....so I searched for them. I constantly try to learn to be a good mom, but something that sits in the back of my mind is that I just have to "be" there. All she really wants is me. My time, my love, my smiles, my praise, my encouragement, my affection.....just me. The very same thing I wanted from my mom, and never ever got.
Well, dangnabit, this girl is gonna have it!! She's going to have every little piece of me I can offer her. She shouldn't know how hard life is just yet. Her world should be sunshine and rainbows......all about school, and making friends, and exploring who SHE is.
I won't fail her anymore. She is my world, as I am hers, and together we are family. I am blessed that this little house is so filled with warmth and love, and I am lucky to have the opportunity to make all my wrongs right again. I am thankful that she will jump in with all her joyful enthusiasm to teach me how to play again, and she will smile in that wonderful way of hers when she says, "I love you, Mom."
How blessed I am!!
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| It's Been a Long Time.... |
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bamastyle
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Dec 16 @ 7:15AM
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I think as parents, we all doubt our parenting skills. I am sure you are doing a fine job! 
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ToucherinSparks
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Dec 16 @ 7:25AM
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How blessed you are indeed. You do know the secret, all she needs and wants is your love and attention. That's what being a parent is, once you get past the basics of shelter, food, and safety. It's just about love and being there for her. Don't let yourself get distracted with all the other things pulling and sucking at your time. She is only a child once, and you only get one chance to help her grow into the young lady you want her to be.
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ColdinWisconsin
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Dec 16 @ 7:26AM
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All she really wants is me. My time, my love, my smiles, my praise, my encouragement, my affection.....just me.
And there it is. The easiest and hardest thing to do. When you are a single parent, there is just never enough time. But aren't they just the best darn things in the whole world?
Kudo's to you. 
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redtigr
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Dec 16 @ 7:52AM
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It sounds to me that you do know exactly how to be a good Mom... unselfish love and awareness of your daughter as both her own person - and a part of you.
very nice...
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chris549547
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Dec 16 @ 8:29AM
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I think your being a good mom  your daughter is lucky to have you
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painter007
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Dec 16 @ 8:36AM
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Its amazing how our kids can teach us to be better parents and people.
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luvshorses644
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Dec 16 @ 9:12AM
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Em... I am typing this with a crunchy feeling in my chest because I can feel the love you exude with her.
Each of us, parents, struggle each and every day with knowing exactly what to do and say with our children. There are no manuals that are given that state exactly what will or will not make them happy.
As you said, our children are happiest when we give them the best gift we ever could.. our time, our love, and our belief in them.
Thanks for something so heart-warming to start my day.
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EternalFlame
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Dec 16 @ 9:15AM
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~*~
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530Meliss
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Dec 16 @ 9:30AM
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Way to go mom!!!! I'm thinking of one of the verses that was my mantra when my boys were little.
Sweeping and cleaning can wait till tomorrow
So fly away cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
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kattsmeow
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Dec 16 @ 11:51PM
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Empath, I got this written out by my Mother when I was in my 20's. I know she didn't write it, but it really hit me that all that other stuff can wait. The dishes will still be there, the laundry won't run away.
Just be a mommy and give your children your time.
Now, this is got the boy theme, but you will get the drift. Kudo's to you!
MY HANDS WERE BUSY
My hands were busy through the day.
I didn’t have much time to play.
The little games you asked to do,
I didn’t have much time for you.
I’d wash your clothes. I’d sew and cook.
You’d ask and I’d read from your book.
I’d tuck you in all safe at night,
And hear your prayers; turn out the light.
Then tiptoe softly by your door,
I wish I’d stayed a minute more.
For life was short, the years rushed past,
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at my side,
His precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away.
There are no longer games to play.
No Teddy Bears or misplaced toys
No sleepovers with lots of boys.
No goodnight kiss, no prayers to hear.
That all belongs to yesteryear.
My hands, once busy, now are still.
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I could go back and do
The little things you asked me to do.
Anonymous
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