to begin for those who don't know i have three younger sisters we will call them m,s,r and we have many mutual friends ( this has also been sensored so put in the cuss words where they should be lol )
i was w/ this guy he wanted to marry me and even asked my aunt at a family party if we could have our wedding in her backyard ( a bit too soon for me to think about it but whatever ) he is so sweet and loving
...then his true colors show he can't handle his alcohal he gets argumentative (about stuff that never even happened ) and seems to get violent
...then on sunday oct.21st he starts flipping out on me he is drunk and won't leave me alone threatens to tear apart my house when i tell him that i won't talk to him when he's drunk he comes out on my front porch and has me pinned in a chair screaming at me i tell him if he don't leave me alone we are done he won't i tell him that he had better quit or i'm calling the cops he won't so i get my phone he throws it accross the porch i wiggle out from under him to get the phone he grabs it and won't let me have it
..so i go to get the house phone and can't find it i call for R to call the police she does ( mind you her 5 year old is screaming cause he thinks he's gonna hurt me ) the police come and take him on old warrents he spends 30 days
.... now in the mean time i as a fair person take the money my mom owes him for work he did on her house and put it on his fines so he will get them paid off what the money was for anyway i didn't hate him i wanted him to get his shit together i really liked him and at the time hoped to maybe work things out down the road
... he got out i was worried that he was gonna flip out but he didn't it was very civil i talked to him he wanted to get back together i told him he had to quit drinking he said he would i told he had to prove it to me he said that if that was the case then he wasn't going to i said sorry i will not wait for you then and started kinda seeing someone
... he found out and flipped out on me and my friend B who was nice enough to give him a place to stay cause he had no where to go ( he overheard a phone converstion ) he tried to make me jealous but i didn't care even gave him a ride to the woman's house one time
...i went over to MY friend B's house one night early this month he was staying there he went psycho on me and i told him off and left he called me crying to get back w/ me i told him no this was what i don't want to deal w/ he then screamed at me for seeing someone else and i hung up on him
...i had left some unopened snacks there on accident he knew they were mine and ate them all just to be a jerk i didn't hear from him since then last weekend my sis M comes over and says i think S is seeing him she was on the phone w/ her and heard his voice in the background when she asked who it was S said you'll find out soon enough
....on monday we went to S's house to pick up somethings she was giving to a friend of mine T and it took a long time for her to answer the door when we went in he was there they said he came over to use the computer and was still there cause it broke and was trying to fix it ( he don't know shit about computers he f***ed up mine and i'm still trying to fix it ) here it took so long cause they were hiding his clothes since he has been staying there !!!!!
....now i go back to my friend B and say what the heck is going on she says she don't want to be in it i respect that since she is/ was everyones friend
...now R and M flip out on S about sleeping w/ a family member's ex especially so soon i still hadn't said a word and even left her a message about a job lead cause i know he's doing it to make me jealous and she's just a whore
....in the mean time my friend B goes through some major life threatening things and calls him for help S who is supposed to be her friend too flips out because she called ( mind you my friend was giving him a place to live FOR FREE ) and they tell her basicly who cares if her and her kids are killed
....then thursday i get some calls saying that S is telling everyone that my friend B told me about them and that i had called her and cussed her out NEVER HAPPENED so i calmly called her and corrected her and told her that she owed her an appology she said i don't owe that bitch or you shit i said fine and i don't associate w/ whores and hug up i am done w/ her
...then i called him and left him a message stating what had happened and asked if he told her that right before he started seeing her he was crying to get me back and that i know why he is with her to make me jealous and that i don't care what he does and GOD will get him ( since he is all about god and the bible lol lol)
so my question is does anyone think that this is sisterly behavior or the behavior of a so called friend or how you should act to someone who gave you a place to live food rides and friendship and any words you all have for them i was told to take a pole on people's views on what lines don't you cross
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read more blogs!
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moodymama
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Dec 22 @ 2:44AM
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I got to where you were talking about his alcohol and getting violent... all I could think is RUN!
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Josuha
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Dec 22 @ 2:45AM
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My advise is..if you got that kind of friends, buy a Doberman..or get new friends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1iswQIaSTI
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helen77
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Dec 22 @ 2:50AM
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ok people this is a pole on the behavior of my sis my sis is sleeping w/ him and he is now living w/ her not on whether i should take him back all of our mutual friends have dissowned her along w/ my other sisters but some other family members think this is acceptable behavior of a sister
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frankbarks
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Dec 22 @ 2:53AM
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It's a compelling story, I think. Was someone violent towards you? Punctuation can be important in communicating written English. Where do descrete ideas begin and end?
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jayej
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Dec 22 @ 3:03AM
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pinned in a chair screaming at me Itimidation
to get the phone he grabs it and won't let me have it Isolation
at the time hoped to maybe work things out down the road Never Happen
he had no where to go that is your friends problem how?
he went psycho on me repeating intimidation
he called me crying to get back looking for sympathy
he knew they were mine and ate them all just to be a jerk punishment
he was there isolating you and your sister from each other
they tell her basicly who cares if her and her kids are killed isolating your sister from you and a friend
i don't owe that bitch or you shit i said fine and i don't associate w/ whores and hug up i am done w/ her Looked like the isolation technique worked
i know why he is with her to make me jealous and that i don't care neither does he
he is all about god and the bible Why not? Gives him a sense of righteousness. Since it is all about him
so my question is does anyone think that this is sisterly behavior or the behavior of a so called friend or how you should act to someone who gave you a place to live food rides and friendship It is the behavior fed to someone by someone who is manipulating the situation, none of you are "love interests" you are just pawns in a convienant game an easy way for him to live, eat, have sex, for free....divide and conquer......
Think about it
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WouldntItBeGr8To
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Dec 22 @ 3:06AM
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excessive alchohol, violence, phycho, police, 'make some one jealous' ,kids are killed
,...I gotta go along with Moody - - -RUN! This is not good, not healthy. PLEASE stay away.
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sphynxsmile
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Dec 22 @ 3:12AM
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I agree with Moodymama, run!
I feel sorry for your sister and all the ladies he's passing through! Waw, he sure does some damage and it's tough with your sister (hurtful). You can't transform people. Even if he does stop drinking, if he does it just to be in a relationship with you or anyone else, his drinking will depend on that. So the next bad patch between him and whoever he's with will start him drinking again. People have got to want to transform. Then, why not give a hand. 
On the other hand, for your own good, you should maybe enlarge your circle of friends and keep some separate from the family. There are often jealousy issues between sisters, even though they might be soul mates! 
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helen77
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Dec 22 @ 3:21AM
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no you got it wrong i did run but he is w/ my sis now..... my friend called him for help cause his cousin is trying to kill her and his kids that was how they reacted
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frankbarks
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Dec 22 @ 3:24AM
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Sounds like a CNN special report in the making. Either run, learn some martial arts, get a capable dog... pepper spray.
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Angel1964
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Dec 22 @ 3:25AM
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I think you should read my blog...
http://www.matchdoctor.com/blog_77016/Are_you_an_abusive_man.html
Also, no this is not acceptable behavior!
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WouldntItBeGr8To
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Dec 22 @ 3:31AM
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I am confused.
So you did run, right? Yes, there is no option, he has to help himself.
But are you asking us if we think your sister or sisters are being unreasonable or not understanding of you? Is that it?
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Josuha
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Dec 22 @ 4:03AM
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Sounds to me the whole tribe is dysfunctional.
Call Dr. Phil..Ha!
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American_Woman
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Dec 22 @ 5:11AM
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Sleeping with your sister's ex b/f is not acceptable behavior.
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edthepoet
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Dec 22 @ 5:49AM
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Let's keep this simple, he an a$$hole on so many levels, just be glad he gone, no matter who he is with.
Your sister and so called friend are way wrong too.
In my opinion, just move on from him, he's not a good guy, a drunk is a drunk.
You deserve so much better, so don't settle for a drunk just because he has some good days.
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UnicornLover1962
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Dec 22 @ 5:53AM
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your sister has a major problem going on. for her to be having anything to do with him after what he put you through, is not normal.
i would suggest getting her to counseling fast, but, i'm afraid that she wouldn't listen to you.
good luck my friend in dealing with this dilemma. i reckon she won't wake up until he pins her and threatens her like he did you.
huggles and love
mel
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TheClockmaker
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Dec 22 @ 6:01AM
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Ditto what JayeJ said...just be glad you are away from him, in one piece and safe. Family is always family no matter (almost) what they do, but it will take time and you can probably patch things up with sis...perhaps...I would hope so anyway because it is family. Make sure you don't weaken and let the guy come back ....ever...because you are lucky the violence wasn't worse...and it will worsen with time unless he finally gets the help he obviously needs to solve his problems.
Good luck hun...to a happier, safer, New Year!
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ragtopcookie
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Dec 22 @ 7:30AM
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not even gonna comment on this self-made mess....sorry.......cookie
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observed50
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Dec 22 @ 7:44AM
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what would a poll tell you about all of this drama and silliness??
he has a lot of issues, control, alcohol, anger...and on and on.
you have some friends with some issues who knowing that behavioral portfolio of his, still want all that dysfunction in their life. Women love to think they can save highly dysfunctional males. They love to believe that 'you don't understand, he is really a neat person" as if there is more than one person living in the body, and the good one for some reason has more value and capacity than the one's tearing apart their world. Women love to believe that 'down the road' after they saved the dysfunctional male, there is bliss.
And of course...there is not. And of course, there is nothing in the world you can do to convince anyone hell bent on being a savior, and thus a martyr..."Please, nail me to my cross of my love that overflows for dysfunction."
We cling to such high insanity because we falsely believe it will save us, if we save another. It will give us a better sense of ourselves, it will prove what a good person we are, and prove that our choices aren't so highly problematic.
And thus...abuse thrives.
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FLFire
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Dec 22 @ 7:57AM
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I saw this on Jerry Springer.
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Timber52
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Dec 22 @ 8:01AM
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Ed said it best.. 
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chris549547
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Dec 22 @ 8:15AM
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I would say not to worry about your sis,or your friend,, if they want to be abused then let them,, at least your not being abused,,,just worry about yourself
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selectiveman
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Dec 22 @ 8:30AM
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From reading your story, it sounds to me like everyone mentioned here that has become involved with this loser, obviously suffers from an extremely low sense of self-worth.
He sounds abusive on so many different levels, but there are all these enablers around him who keep opening the door for him.
Your sis must know how he treated you, right? Her self esteem must be curb-level. To knowingly, willingly sleep with, or even lend a helping hand to, a guy like this, who has abused her own family is not propper behavior.
But, people like her, desperate for a man, will do whatever they can just to keep someone from leaving. No matter how unrational it is.
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Ready52627
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Dec 22 @ 9:05AM
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Dated a woman that is now even on this site who went thru 10 years of this type of behavior and even more. She and her kids were stuck in this abusive relationship for 10 years. She always thought she could change him. I was her friend for almost the entire 10 years. Watched her cry, (gave a her ashoulder to do that on) and even saw the physical abusive end results. Finally convinced her to divorce him and then we started dating. Bottom line now is we broke up. She has no idea how to accept real love now. There is a lock on her heart and I finally had to accept she will never be able to open it up truly to any man. Sure she may date but the same barriers will always be up the rest of her life. This man ruined a really good woman. DON't let this happen to anyone. Get as far away from an abusive mate as possible and never go back. You CAN'T change them. You think you can but it really won't work. Look for someone who can show you real love and concern for your well-being. Then go live a life in a happy, secure relationship.
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Sheryll861
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Dec 22 @ 9:20AM
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Hey Gal, Disassociate yourself from your sister!!! This is not what you need to have in your life. I will probably catch hell for saying this, but I have a lot of experience with such type of sister.
I wrote you on myspace earlier about it.
She is nothing but trouble and the two of them together could and probably are dangerous. You don't need that....... he is really scarey. Your sister well....... stay away from her... don't call, don't talk, don't see her. She is not a healthy minded individual. Or NICE!
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Bluetic1966
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Dec 22 @ 9:22AM
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Sorry you are going thru this crap. BTW, are we related? this sounds like something my family would do. 
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azgirl701
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Dec 22 @ 9:34AM
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he a loser  
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Guerrero
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Dec 22 @ 9:48AM
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1. Let it be your sisters problem.
2. Stay out of it, and keep him "out of you" lol ..
3. Leave him alone .... for good.
4. You should call me up sometime now that my semester is over... I've actually got time to talk instead of falling asleep.
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macloud971
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Dec 22 @ 9:53AM
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Ummmmm, an old college friend and a PK always said "vice is nice but incest is best"
My advice is move on, you don't deserve to be caught up in this mess. There are better fish in the pond.
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Slohand_47
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Dec 22 @ 10:03AM
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I'm wondering what kind of relationship you had with this sister BEFORE all this went down. Did you think she was a whore then, or just now?
Lets pretend that the BF is a non drinking very nice guy and the two of you split on good terms. Would it be ok then for her to date him? Or should sisters NEVER date an ex?
What are you REALLY mad about? Is it because she is dating your ex bf, or because she is putting a low life ahead of you?
(I'd probably be upset with both, but the second is what would hurt worse to me. He is definitely low on the food chain and he currently rates higher than you, unfortunately)
Short answer, no, I do not think her behaviour is acceptable. I think it would be helpful for you to figure out why more than what.
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trinity_1947
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Dec 22 @ 10:04AM
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I think instead of being angry with your sister you should be supportive. If she is living with this guy and he is all you say he is then she is in a very dangerous situation. If he treated you that way he will treat her that way as well. Instead of writing her off because she is doing something stupid keep the door of your relationship with her open. She may need to turn to you when he starts hurting her, and you need to be there for her.
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EvolvednReal
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Dec 23 @ 3:43AM
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Being related to someone does not entitle her to mistreat you; neither does it oblige you to associate with her. I have a simple rule for the people in my life whether they be friend or family : treat me decently. If they don't, they are out. Life is too short to put up with such nonsense. Drama just drains your life. Users like your ex-boyfriend advance themselves at the cost of everyone that they encounter. It's a mistake to be too patient with people like him and your sister.
Only you can decide whether your sister is just going through a phase or has a fatally flawed personality. Sometimes we resist facing an unpleasant fact just because they are family but my experience has been that if you allow them to continue to have access to your life, the damage will build to the point where you will have to take drastic action to protect yourself. Unfortunately, by then, so many things will have been ruined that you will regret not having done that sooner.
Like I said though, only you can figure that one out. Good luck Hon.
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brad572
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Dec 23 @ 7:30AM
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run now!
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i8yurdog
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Dec 23 @ 10:45AM
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This is why I think that all women should be equipped with a video camera and a gun from birth. That way, if a jerk gets violent with her, she has the right to shoot him. It'll have two effects, one, a hell of a deterrent, and two, it'll help remove that gene from the planet.
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honesty2laughter
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Dec 23 @ 11:37AM
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Aww G/F so sorry to hear about something like this.But all to true it happens.The reality of it is.She is always gonna be your sister.Him on the other hand sounds like he will always be a piece of S- - - T. I believe in time God & Your Heart will guide you through this.Its wonderful hearing different ideas and thoughts and to know how so many care.Love yourself ! family?,friends ! ,and keep God in your heart.Hugs as always God Bless. And enjoy this holiday because its truly a Gift to have another day 
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MarkAndy
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Jan 7 @ 8:38AM
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Let your sister KNOW that if she ever needs help you and your friends will be there to help. It will be up to her to reach out for that help but until she can make that call by her own choice let her be. Try to make sure she is able to reach out if she needs help.
Before cancelling all contact make sure she has heard and knows your experience and the analysis that jayej showed you in your story.
People must be allowed to make their own choices and hopefully not physically hurt another. They also have a right to know the facts as much as is possible so that they can make their choices with as little bias as possible.
Jealousy and ‘ownership of a relationship’ are stupid concepts that cause people a lot of harm.
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