Yesterday my Dad got a phonecall from some one threating to kill my brother because he owed a guy $800 for drugs. My dad called my mom to tell her about it then she asked my bro's girlfriend and she confessed it that that owed this guy a hundred dollars for it. My mom was so scared to death that she told my bro to come to the house for awhile. Me, Mom and Dad were absolutely upset with my brother. He blew money on something else then to buy Christmas presents for his own children who aren't even in his care. He and his girlfriend lied to us about them being cleaned. He's almost 27 and still living on my mom's money but not living in the same house. He can barely live with his radio job and him always paying child support. When mom got on him about it during a meeting about it, after ithe ran away from mom and dad's house for a few hours which was so childish.He finally came back to mom and dads He told us that he was sorry but the sad thing is that I don't believe him. He has hurt us so much with his lies that mom and dad can barely trust him My mom went to bed last night crying her eyes out. I couldn't stand it. He keep telling her as she cried that he loved her. She kept questioning," Do you just love me because I give you money for things or do you really do?"
Today he gave the people the money he owed him but I'm still upset with him. I don't want to have anything to with him. I want to sell the presents I bought for him and his girlfriend to a Pawn shop. I know these are horrible words to saw about my own brother but I'm so confused and hurt about it. I've lost his trust.Me and him weren't raised like this at all. I dunno whats the deal.
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| Nightmare Before Christmas... |
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andxr
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Dec 23 @ 1:03AM
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it's not your brother your talking to anymore. your talking to the drugs.
dont push him away. he needs a program
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jayej
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Dec 23 @ 1:09AM
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want to sell the presents I bought for him and his girlfriend to a Pawn shop. I know these are horrible words to saw about my own brother but I'm so confused and hurt You may want to do just that..There is a good posibility he will do it. Maybe a card from you stating you did just that.
I know it sounds harsh but there is no sense fueling the fire. He is not going to stop until he is ready. As much as family worry bout the lifestyle the addict chooses to live, it will only tear your family apart further to cont watching him go downhill. Cut him loose and let him live with the choices he is making. It may be the thing that makes him find his bottom sooner than later.
J
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Sunnywolf23
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Dec 23 @ 1:55AM
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Sorry to here what you are going through, I have been through the pain of watching a loved one destroy themselves with drugs and the hurt it causes to the children involved also. Active addiction defies all logic. You might try Al-anon, not to save you brother, but for your own peace of mind, they have a concept called detaching with love, it is a way of still loving that person but detaching yourself emotionally so there actions will stop tearing you apart. It sounds like thats a contradiction in terms, but it really is not. If you want I can help you get in contact with Al-anon through the internet or in your area of the country, just let me know. Don't let someones addiction wreck your Christmas. Love and Hugs,
Lynn
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Angel1964
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Dec 23 @ 2:26AM
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My brother is an alcoholic. I know what you are talking about.. I don’t give him money anymore. I learned I can’t help him… if I do I will only enable him. Tough Love! Yes, it is the hardest thing to do.. Stop helping him! It only is enabling him! I know it’s hard.. He’s family.. Sadly that’s what he’s counting on… You don’t even know if that call was for real. Who the hell gives a drug dealer your parents phone number??? If you make it easy on him, he’ll never get help! I’m sorry if I’m being to harsh.. It’s just something I know a lot about!
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UnicornLover1962
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Dec 23 @ 3:32AM
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i had a brother that used crack, heroin, and others. he stole from family and others and even rolled a car. up to his death, he used them.
unfortunately, your brother won't stop until he wants to. in the meantime, i know your parents love him very much, but they're being enablers by giving him money and all that to get him out of trouble. the hardest thing is saying no. maybe it's time for that.
whatever the outcome, i hope you find the peace and happiness as well as your parents you all so deserve.
huggles
mel
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CPUfan
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Dec 23 @ 5:53AM
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You seem like a lovely, concerned girl and I don't know what advice to give you about this but it seems right as you do to give first priority to your family. I guess you could keep on confronting him with what he is doing to you, your parents and his whole family. This might still have some impact, but I know of addicts who have even assaulted and stolen from their parents, they were so far gone.
If a collection crew have already been after a debt, he is likely to again be in for some serious shock treatment if he continues. He was lucky this time. Let's hope it brings him round to getting out of his dependence completely so you can get the brother back you know and love. 
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sciurusniger
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Dec 23 @ 7:00AM
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I'm so sorry. Addictions are painful for everyone they touch.
You've every right to feel hurt and betrayed. And honestly, the only thing you can do is distance your Self from the situation. Your parents should do the same thing, but it's even harder for them to watch their child spiral downward like this.
Addicts don't stop until they, themselves, are ready. If you wish to take a tough stance, I suggest you donate those gifts to a worthy charity, such as a homeless shelter for abused women and children. Then give your brother a card telling him that you did this. Not why, for that may cause arguments no one can win, but simply that you did it.
Family counseling for you and your folks might help. If no one wants to "get tough", then you'll have to stand strong without them. Not stand alone, mind you, for there are many who walk your same path and will give you the support you need. It's hard, really hard, but you do not have to be a part of this. Yes, it's "unfair", but that's life. More important, however, is what you do with it.
Good luck...to all of you.
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waiting326
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Dec 23 @ 7:23AM
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Your brother needs professional help. You and your parents will never get him to change by yourself. He will only realize what he is doing to the family when he is clean. Get him the help he needs and that will be the gift of his life he will appreciate in the future.
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justme836
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Dec 23 @ 7:26AM
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I agree with Jaye. He will stop when he is ready and by giving him gifts to pawn and by your mom giving him money is not helping his situation. Might as well just buy him the drugs yourself. Your mom will not live forever and then where will your brother be? Best to teach him to be a man and support himself or at least earn his keep.
Send him a card and tell him that money has been donated to a drug rehab program in his name. Or buy gifts for his children who will appreciate being cared about by someone from their dad's side of the family.
Good luck................
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Multiturret
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Dec 23 @ 9:22AM
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wo, that's really very horrible, it seems that he didn't care his parents. I think he is old enough to live indepent. I don't know how to say but I just want to say he should realize he hurt his families very serious.
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