The Human Touch posted 1/6/2008 5:22:14 PM | 6 kudos what's this?     report abuse

baldy855

Having one's foundation/essence moved/broken/shattered is life changing. Running to the man cave never to return is the natural thing for one of my temperament. There is a problem in the cave. It is no longer the protective safe place it once was. Somebody covered the walls with large mirrors and enhanced them with harsh lighting. A forced looking at self, picking apart, over analyzing, going over and over, refusing to let go, questioning everything......even the questions. Every value, every ethic, every principle, integrity, even God, held individually to the magnifying mirrors that enlarge and distort primarily the ugly.

Intellectually knowing the need to come out, but discovering a love for wallowing in self pity and being a victim of injustice, created such a sticky mess in the cave it refuses to let go until thoroughly cleaned and order returned. It's hard, but compelling. Three steps forward, two back.

Much is to be learned in the coming out process. Now that the struggle is over the process can take place. The forgiveness, the saying, "I'm sorry", taking on the cloak of reality.

Peeking out, I can see there are many changes. The sky is bluer. I see more flowers. I hear better. Many changes. Even my competitive spirit has somehow changed. I'm still competitive, but a persons weakness or vulnerability is no longer to be exploited.......it is to be hugged.

Never been much of a hugger. Of course duty was willingly done and enjoyed with family, but not much with others. Always felt awkward. I believed my hugs were valuable because they were scarce, thought out, and given with purpose. How more wrong could one be?

Being somewhat of a social proper person, conscious of manners, slight bent towards formality, usually given, would be what some would call the Baptist hug. This would be an arm around the shoulder from the side with a slight squeeze so no one could possibly misunderstand intent. No possible inappropriateness.

NO MORE!

There is intent! The people I hug will know they've been hugged. There will be no doubt. It will be a full body hug, squeezing you close to me. Things that can't be seen will begin to happen. In your mind and in your soul. You will know I care, you are wanted, you are approved of, you have value, you are safe, you are okay in my book, you are accepted. It will have a healthy love and like about it. It will say, "I'm glad you exist". Yeah! That's my hug and a whole bunch more I don't know how to express.

So, in my cave of safety, with those mirrors I despise, forcing responsibility I'd rather not have, came a gift. A treasure hidden in that mess. A new and more plentiful hug. The type that I'm learning is often returned. It even came with a name......

......"The Human Touch"

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