Someone who shall remain nameless, but was exceedingly annoying this morning, brought up that I had never had a date, wrote it as if "Oh, I'm so surprised" and then told me he was lying, more or less. It was very odd.
Got me to thinking, though, how much we assume things based on a very short statement. Does me never having had a date, for instance, sound to you like I was at home, all alone? Does it make you think of dusty old librarian spinster types? Was I pining and crying, wishing that I could be attractive to someone, oh just anyone, and not have to be alone in this cold miserable world? ... I ask, rhetorically.
I know it does to some people, and apparently it did to him. But, I have four children! I have mentioned the lover I had during my teenage years who still tells me I am his favorite fantasy, both past and present. So, how do those things fit in with the other things.
The fact is that I never had a date because I've always been more the type of person to spend time with friends. If one of those friends becomes something more than that, well, we already know each other, been out to eat, still go out to eat, etc. But, it's not a date! It's just life, with a slight alteration.
I've gone to dinner with people, I've had parties thrown in my honor, I have organized and helped organize social events of various natures, I was in a band and I did modeling and I was worshipped both from afar and from anear. I've gone to movies, I've gone on walks, I've had sex with people, I've had lovers I went to visit and I had lovers who visited me; I had live in lovers, I had a husband, I had people I would go out to "run into" that were looking to "run into" me too, because we loved to dance together. I have been in love, I have been loved .. though unfortunately, not with/by the same people, mostly at all. lol I get proposed to fairly regularly and I get asked out a lot, both online and offline in "real life".
I just have never been on a date!
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| Never been on a date .... |
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TroutFishing

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Jan 16 @ 7:04PM
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For some people - a date is a ritual with RULES and EXPECTATIONS and judgment. Ritual behavior tends to be ACTED out rather than free flowing for some.
I'd much rather spend time with friends enjoying activities.
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HopelesslyHopeful

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Jan 16 @ 7:10PM
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To me, it would be a date if you made a plan to do something together If you meet up and go out to dinner, it is not a date. If everyone is tired and you say "Let's just go out to eat." to your spouse it's not a date. But, if one of you says "I want to take you somewhere, just the two of us..." for instance, then it's a date. Or even staying home, with a specific reason in mind. I've never had that.
I think a bit of that would be a good thing .. though I, like you, would mostly prefer just hanging out with friends and such.
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Sugar_Lee

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Jan 16 @ 7:15PM
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Hopeful, I understand that, I really enjoyed being taken out Saturday night by a true gentleman. I have had dates but at this stage of my life would like to meet the right guy and just go with it. It will likely will not happen that way but that date Saturday was awesome. I could handle a few more like it..
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HopelesslyHopeful

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Jan 16 @ 7:22PM
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a true gentleman I thought those were myths?
Are you dating Gregory Peck? He appeared to be a true gentleman! Ooh ohh: Paul McCartney? He sure jumped back into the swing of things fast, if that's who it is!
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Danishandy

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Jan 16 @ 8:47PM
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i have......never been kissed......been on a date......just not kissed
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HopelesslyHopeful

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Jan 16 @ 11:00PM
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That's hard to believe, there, Mr. Why would you have never been kissed?
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