Ending a relationship is never easy. But many times we are so mired in the emotional pain, that we can't think straight, which causes us to make some bad choices. For those of you who are struggling with putting your head back on straight, follow the below “Do’s and Don’ts” when your common sense isn’t so common.
1. DON’T CALL HIM/HER
Many people get caught up in this cycle. The relationship is over, the person you loved hasn’t called and it’s driving you absolutely crazy and…you are just dying to call them. Don’t give into this because it will not lead to the outcome you’re looking for, call anyone else, just DON’T CALL HIM/HER.
2. DON’T SEE HIM/HER JUST ONE MORE TIME
Seeing them just one more time will only put you back to square one, and, who wants to prolong the agony? It’s painful to say good-bye to someone you’ve loved and it’s even more painful to do it over and over again. You are going to have to get over it anyway, why not do it sooner rather than later?
3. DON’T SECOND-GUESS YOURSELF
It’s not like you woke up one day and said, “I’m so happy, I think I’ll end it.” It’s over for a reason. If you ended it, my guess is that you had your reasons. Don’t let them try to entice you back with promises of how much they’ll change, typically, these promises are short lived.
4. DON’T WALLOW IN IT
There is a certain amount of time that is necessary to mourn the loss of someone we love. It is a process that you must go through to get to the other side. But, whenever this time lasts longer than normal, you may find yourself wallowing in self pity and that will not only make you feel worse, it will also prolong your healing.
5. DON’T THINK HE/SHE WILL CHANGE
What you see is what you’ve always gotten and what you will continue to get. Many people make the mistake of believing they can change someone. The only person you can change is yourself. So when you think you can change them, think again.
6. LET IT OUT AND LET IT GO
Don’t feel bad for feeling bad. You have to mourn your loss. So, make sure you let it out, so you can let it go. Do your crying now so you can dry your tears for when the real Mr./Mrs. Right does come along.
7. STAY BUSY
At first you may not feel like it, but after the initial shock wears off start looking for things to keep you busy. Now is the time to call in the troops; your friends, family etc. Do something, do anything, just keep on moving on.
8. LOOK FORWARD AND LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND
Just because your relationship is over doesn’t mean your life is over. Decide what you want your future to look like and then stay focused on it, not the past. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want, let go of what was and look forward to what can be.
9. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
You may want to beat yourself up over what went wrong or wonder what would’ve happened if you had done things differently. Now is not the time to be hard on yourself. Treat yourself, pamper yourself, and just take a little extra care of yourself. You’ll be glad you did.
10. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AGAIN, BELIEVE IN YOUR FUTURE AND KNOW THAT YOU REALLY WILL GET BEYOND THIS!!!
Don’t do things that will make you feel bad, do what will help you to heal your broken heart. You are the only one who can make a difference. Decide to put the past behind you and move on. Remember, we get what we expect. Begin today and expect the best. Live your life knowing that everything is going to work out and it will!
Love,
Theresa
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| Steps to getting through a break-up |
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CPUfan
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Jan 17 @ 6:22PM
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  Spot on... once you've reached that point, always make a clean break. Easier for you, easier for the partner. Once it's gone, it's gone... there's no "changing" people.  And no checking later to see if your ex has met anyone. Of course, if there's a kid you will always have that link... hmmm  that's another situation.
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freeagent811
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Jan 17 @ 6:28PM
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9. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
Be good to yourself. If you can't be good to yourself, then noone else can be good to you.
I am speaking from experience. You owe it to nobody but yourself. It is not selfish. Make yourself number one on the list of priorities. I don't always do this myself,but I need to start....You have to make up your own silver platter and start handing things to yourself!! You are worth it!!
I wasted 13 years of my life on a pathetic loser. I did everything for him and got absolutely nothing in return. He promised me the moon, sun and stars. . I just kept dreaming,thinking it may become a reality ..
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jadedbtch
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Jan 17 @ 6:35PM
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I think these are great  # 9 will be the hardest it is so hard for us to be good to ourselves. Keep positive and keep looking ahead thats how I am getting better!!!!   
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vettman454
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Jan 17 @ 7:14PM
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So true! My son is going through that right now after breaking up with his wife.
He's down in the dumps, no get up and go at all and has cried his heart out.
He wants it to work, she don't and now he is depressed and she will only let him see their son on Sundays from 5 till 7 and his son was what kept him going.
It breaks my heart to see him like that, but you hit the nail on the head with this blog! Kudo worthy
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purrring_kitten
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Jan 17 @ 7:44PM
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Kudos to you for that extremely wonderful, and informative blog... you sure hit the nail on the head!!  I have just gone thru... and completed steps up to and thru 7. I am now working on 8, 9, and 10, with a verrrrry strong determination to make my world change for the best!!! My tenacity is so strong in wanting a change... I just had 3 job interviews this week... and ALL THREE want to hire me!!! Perserverance and determination to make the changes happen... yay!
I am saving your wonderful blog so that I can share it with other friends of mine that are going thru similar issues, and also to pass on to those who may need it for future reference. I want to thank you for your time and thoughts put into such a very down to earth and very true blog that mannnnny of us all go thru.
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purrring_kitten
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Jan 17 @ 7:44PM
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Kudos to you for that extremely wonderful, and informative blog... you sure hit the nail on the head!! I have just gone thru... and completed steps up to and thru 7. I am now working on 8, 9, and 10, with a verrrrry strong determination to make my world change for the best!!! My tenacity is so strong in wanting a change... I just had 3 job interviews this week... and ALL THREE want to hire me!!! Perserverance and determination to make the changes happen... yay!
I am saving your wonderful blog so that I can share it with other friends of mine that are going thru similar issues, and also to pass on to those who may need it for future reference. I want to thank you for your time and thoughts put into such a very down to earth and very true blog that mannnnny of us all go thru.
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Danishandy
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Jan 17 @ 8:52PM
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i eat bon bons and watch the notebook...............got any tissues i kin borrow 
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theresam77
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Jan 17 @ 8:55PM
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excellent blog
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legacy1
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Jan 17 @ 11:39PM
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Most excellent blog....
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Elbereth529
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Jan 18 @ 8:22AM
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I met a man through a dating website back in June of 2006 and we went on our first date July 4th & we've been inseperable ever since. Or at least I thought. This past new years day we went our seperate ways so I'm going through a grieving phase myself. I know I'll get through it, it just takes time and everyone heals at their own rate. We're going to be ok guys, I promise!
Thanks for your comments about my blog.
Love,
Theresa
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CPUfan
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Jan 18 @ 11:29AM
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Sorry I forgot to add a kudo... well that's remedied !!!
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madamegeek
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Jan 18 @ 1:09PM
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Now is not the time to be hard on yourself.
What a good thing to remember, Theresa! I am printing this out to keep at hand when I am at the point of re-considering Points 1 through 5.
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