Some lessons are hard to learn posted 1/22/2008 2:50:21 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: mistakes, life, learning, trust, experience

HopelesslyHopeful

I was in a program, which was primarily a business class, several years ago. There was one main teacher, then a therapist/counselor for some workshops, and on some days there was a math and computer instructor (one guy for both).

I worked hard on this program, because they paid us for it and helped us to find employment afterwards and I was very grateful for the opportunity, especially considering my disabilities and the trouble I have finding work because of them.

At the time I had a boyfriend who had a friend that I would talk to sometimes. I told him about the program, including mentioning the name of the math teacher who I admired the teaching style of greatly. I knew he and this other person worked in the same areas at some points, and so I thought he might know him. Well, he did. He laughed about how all the girls in my class were smitten by the ever so gay boy who was teaching them math and computers

He told me to tell the teacher he said hi and ask him if he remembers him. This was all said with a smile and a laugh, and obvious excitement at the possibility of renewing an acquaintanceship though. The guy telling me this was gay, too, by the way, so he wasn't laughing at the teacher for being homosexual just laughing at the idea of him being chased by a passel of young women.

Well, I did mention him to the teacher and the guy completely denied knowing this other person. He began to treat me very differently, too, changing rules on how things would be graded and then accusing me of cheating. At the end of the class, I gave a present to each teacher, as did several other people. His was a handmade, by me,wreath of a very unique design that he had wanted to buy for a niece of his before. He threw it in the trash. Nor would he ever talk to me about it when I asked him to give me a clue as to what he was so mad about.

I found out, months later, that several of the other women in the class had driven past his house and seen him out, etc. and they decided he was gay, but they started teasing him about it, leaving horrible messages on his desk, making prank phone calls, etc. Then they blamed it on me and because I mentioned this other person who he knew was gay, he had his "proof" that I knew about him and that it was me.

Now, people tell you that you should learn a lesson from disasters, from history, from mistakes, but I have no clue what the lesson there is. I mean, anyone I can think of is purely negative:

Don't politely give someone a message
Don't follow the instructions a teacher gives you or trust them to honor their position.
Don't expect people to trust you just because you are nice, honest, and hard working.
Don't bother not making fun of people who are different, because they'll just believe you did later, anyway.
Don't try at all, or you will be screwed over.

Those are the lessons that can logically be extrapolated from this. All my mistakes were in the way of not doing anything wrong and not shoving my nose in other people's business. Or was my mistake admiring a good teacher for his skill and alleged caring in doing his job? ...I ask rhetorically.

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