Swamp Gas In A Dry Cleaning Bag posted 1/30/2008 8:00:57 AM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: ufo, air force

Gary51hwd

.....Apparently the U S Air Force has weighed in on the massive UFO sighting in Texas recently.
....After several conflicting statements, the apparition was explained as a large dry cleaning bag filled with swamp gas. A F spokesman Major Pete Puller said some of the witnesses may have been suffering mass hallucinations caused by geo-magnetic fluctuations before the release of the gas from deep within the South Texas coastal swamp area.
....The dry cleaning bag, which was reportedly over half a mile wide and about a hundred feet tall was not recovered because, as the Major put it, "It wasn't important".....
...."We don't mean to play this thing down, but c'mon, a couple of hundred people see something and one says it's a UFO and everybody jumps on the bandwagon".
....Several witnesses saw a tractor beam radiate from the "dry cleaning bag" and levitate several hefers and a RubberMaid trash bin into the interior of its gas-filled belly.
....More hallucinations no doubt.
....A newly released NSA document from 1960's describes a humongus alien craft reportedly landed on the LBJ ranch during the Johnson Presidency. The aliens removed Lyndon's gall bladder then "borrowed" 3 Holsteins and a metal trash can before departing, leaving a huge burnt ring in the shape of a peace sign on his lawn.
...Project Bluebook, which was the investigating arm of the AF UFO hunters released a statement describing the incident as a "mistaken identification of a large flock of birds".
...Somewhere west of Alpha Centari sits a planet of highly evolved beings capable of transporting themselves almost instantly to anywhere in the parsec. The museums there are full of refuse recepticles and the gall bladders of famous planetary leaders. The inhabitants are all cows of course, who raise humans for meat and milk.
....The Air Force is totally aware of this and has been trading people for secrets for about 75 years now.
....Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Arehart, Joe Kennedy Jr, and Steve Fosset, to name a few.
....Planet of the Cows? Soylent Green? Got Milk?
....Will Paul Bunyon please quit discarding his leftover dry clean bags, and for God's sake get a pooper scooper for that Ox........

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