Finding love on matchdoctor *cough* sex *cough* posted 2/11/2008 9:09:18 PM | 8 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: humor

justsayyeah7

Finding love, what a terrific feeling. People find matchdoctor and think of the love they will find on here. They get all excited. They make their profile. They add their pictures(in some profiles). Then they seek out sex with them, oops, you mean love. Wow, so many people on just like you, looking for love. What a bonanza. Almost like like a buffet. So many choices to pick from. This place has so many people on the menu. you think I will have one of these. One of those. A couple of them. Wow, what a full plate. Only the ones with pictures will do, you have no love for the ugly type and the ones without pictures must have something to hide. And you think to yourself, this is great, I will be eating for months on here. The excitement grows with possibilities.

Time to make your moves. You have your favorite list and you type your little emails for all these choices. You think you are witty and you keep reading your emails to impress yourself. With these emails you will no doubt conquer your intended targets. How can they not love me you think? I am God's gift to the human race.

So you get ready and you press send, and off those emails go. Out to conquer. Seek and Destroy. Soon it will be a lovefest at your shack. You turn off your computer and go to bed, dreaming of what is to come. It is hard to sleep. You toss and turn, sweating in anticipation of your future lovelife.

You can't help it. You get up from bed and race over to the computer. Someone has to have responded by now, I am such a great catch. You turn on your computer but it takes a few agonizing minutes to turn on. Hurry, hurry, hurry you stress. My lovelife begins once you turn on you stupid computer, don't you know that? It finally comes on, you rush to matchdoctor.

You log in. You type as fast as possible. You click on the mail. And there it is!!!!!! In all its glory!!!!!! An empty mailbox. Your heart sinks. But then you get your second wind. Your thoughts start to turn positive again. That's it. How could have I not known? They just haven't read my emails yet. Because when they do they have no choice but to fall for me. I am me, what a catch!

So you sit there, waiting for the first response. You sit there for quite awhile, still anticipating what is to come. I am soon to be a love god. You get hungry and start to eat chips. No time to prepare something good, someone might respond while I am away. I would hate that. Now you have to use the restroom, but you hold it as long as you can. When you are about to burst, you run as soon as possible. Force rush it out. Nevermind washing, you will do it later. You pull up your pants on the way back to the computer. You sit down. What did I miss? What did I miss?

Still no responses. This lasts for awhile. Awhile turns into a long time. A long time turns into days. And there you sit, day after day. Waiting for that email reponse. After a few days of this you notice that there is a outbox also on your mailbox. What is this? Something that keeps track of the emails I send? You are surprised. You click on the sent part of the mailbox and notice all but one of the emails has been read. How can this be? These people read my emails and did not respond? But I am a love god! Something is wrong. Matchdoctor is broken. Why else would I not get my emails?

One last chance. You click on your inbox and low and behold, there is an email. There is a God you think. You click on it immediately, nervous with anticipation. Soon I will be a love god. The email opens. Incredible, there are actually words typed on it. But it is so short, the writer must have been in a hurry. You read it. It says; Sorry, you are not my type!

Now your mad. You think to yourself, these people don't know what is good for them. How can none of them want me? I am the love god. I am oozing with personality. So you think this is there loss. So you try again. And again. Still no one wants you.

Then you get the email you have been looking for. This person loves, thinks you are a love god. You read the email and it says nothing but glowing things about you. You think to yourself, my mojo is working overtime on this one. So you contact this person and this person is perfect. Tells you all the things you want to hear. AH! This person is submitting to the love god. I have this person. I own this person. This person will be mine, oh yes.

Finally this person tells you things about themself. This person is from Africa. AFRICA???? The picture does not look like someone from Africa. You think to yourself, what am I going to do with a person from Africa? Date someone from 12,000 miles away? This person asks for money because this person loves you so and the only way you can be with this person is if you send this person money. So you send money and never hear from this love slave of yours again.

You are insanely mad. You want to kill the world. You want to destroy your computer. You want to curse everyone out. And just before you are about to do something really crazy, you notice the word blogs above your mailbox. Thank God for this. Instead of doing something that could land you in jail, force you to buy a new computer or do you or someone else bodily harm, you become a blogger on matchdoctor. That is where all these bloggers came from and I am sticking to my story.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

Blogs by justsayyeah7: Having A Big Heart Makes You The Most Vunerable Sexual Teenage Girls Snuffing Out The Bright Lights Banning Swear Words Divorce The Value Of Life Is Becoming Extinct The Lord the Shepherd of His People Angelina Jolie - The Hero Of The Day Hating God Blaming God Child Killed For Being Gay I Swear To Tell A Lie, The Whole Lie And Nothing But The Lie Finding love on matchdoctor *cough* sex *cough* Raising a child should be a joy but never easy The Greatest Gift Forgiveness An Adulteress Faces the Light of the World Do Not Judge!!!!! Blog Wars!!!!! Master of Puppets Love Thy Neighbor Blogs full of hate Negotiating for SEX!!!! Getting annoyed with Jesus talk Abortions