Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the dating pool.....
It's that time of year again. The time when greeting card manufacturers seem to be harshly judging you.
Are you worthy of their cards? Will anyone bring you flowers? Candy? Call you from out of the blue after being missing for six months to see if you want to have some "no strings attached sex" AKA The Booty Call.
What sort of Valentine are you?
This is the most contrived and purely corporate of all holidays, and most people do not know that they fall into neat classifications for the celebration of this most emotionally volatile time of the year.
1.) The Actual Romantic - It's dinner, dancing, flowers, candy, long kisses and a night of passion for the lucky few who fall into this most rare category.
2.) The Excuse To Call You - It can be pity, a Booty Call or just taking advantage of any person you can find who has nothing better to do but wants desperately to have a story to tell around the water cooler the next day. You invest in minimal displays of affection (Two roses, small candy, coupon dinner at Red Lobster). This will be followed by awkward groping, too much drinking and an inevitable fall into bed for sex that you could take or leave. Why not? It's a special occasion, right?..
3.) To Hell With Valentine's Day - This is the most explosive of the categories. You go out with a group of similar single friends who can't get a date or are just hostile to the idea of dating and plan to get drunk and rowdy while cursing the holiday and the opposite sex, in general. Five margaritas later, the guy or girl two tables over is no longer the enemy and for the purchase price of no cards, flowers or candy... you have sweaty drunk sex in the back of his or her SUV in the parking lot behind the restaurant.
4.) Why Me, God? - No one calls. No card. No flowers. No candy. No drunken sex. What you get is a TV dinner on your couch with cats in your lap. The people at Hallmark throw rocks at your house. It's a sad existence.
Which one will you be? Which one am I, you might ask? I find myself in a weird place between numbers one and two, but I am going to have fun. That's all that matters. I suggest to anyone who thinks they might end up a #4 on this sappy little holiday, buy yourself some nice flowers, put on some clean clothes, find a hopping restaurant or bar near you, drink and laugh and wink at people who interest you. Get safely home.
Love yourself.
I don't mean that in a "Battery Operated Boyfriend" sort of way, but rub one out if the mood grabs ya'...
I mean that you should be good to yourself on this day of all days. I don't want anyone who reads this to spend a single moment depressed by a holiday designed to make people spend money. It is not a measure of your worth or the future of your love life. So you're single of February 14th.... Your happiness is not doomed to fate by one 24-hour period. Eat, drink and be merry. Send me the pictures if you have too much fun.....
An Early Happy Hallmark Day to all of you!
K~
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by fightingirish04:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Valentine's Day - My Two Cents |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
jadedbtch
|
Feb 13 @ 5:36PM
|
|
With me valentines day could never be a sad day again.  14 years ago I had a beautiful baby boy on this so called "love day" he will forever be my cupid  and even though his dad and I were married on this day also only later to be divorced  . The happiness that my son brought me and continues to bring bring me everday makes me love myself more with every look at him.  I see him (my son) and the fine young man he trying so hard to be and I know that he is this way becuase of the love that surrounds him everyday.  I do agree with you you have to love yourself first no one else bring that love to you woth out reaching in yourself first! 
|
|
CHARLIgurl1
|
Feb 13 @ 5:38PM
|
|
I'll be the.. I just better get somethin in the mail or he's in trouble  
|
|
john49887
|
Feb 13 @ 5:43PM
|
|
|
... you have sweaty drunk sex in the back of his or her SUV .......
The back seat mambo? 
|
|
Ginstl
|
Feb 13 @ 5:51PM
|
|
|
What sort of Valentine are you?
I am the guilt trip ridden by way of corporate sabotage of my better judgement due to endless media bombardment, no where to run, no where to hide type of individual who realizes that I am. 
|
|
DeeLaMarie
|
Feb 13 @ 6:22PM
|
|
I can't agree more!!! This holiday is there because there is just a bit too much time between Christman and Easter to please Hallmark and other people who truly don't give a chit about our love life.
I suppose I'm old enough now to understand, but I know when I was in school, thats where this garbage starts, sitting there with my little Valentine decorated shoe box waiting, just waiting for boys to drop a card in it was horrific. The cute girls, smiling over at us with the "I may need to decorate another shoe box quickly" grin.
This year, a nice dinner at home, bottle of wine and whatever else happens.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone.
|
|
caffie1
|
Feb 13 @ 7:03PM
|
|
|
Which one am I, you might ask? inquiring minds want to know. 
Can it be ok to be two kinds of Valentines? if so i will be #1 & #2......they seem to go well together.... 
|
|
jayej
|
Feb 14 @ 9:51AM
|
|
|
Valentine decorated shoe box waiting Wasn't that a horrific feeling?..............but I did like decorating the boxes...cutting up bits of paper and glueing...my favorite....of course it was my mothers bane...as I left little scraps everywhere.
I bought a card for someone this year...but it was not a valentines card....
I got flowers yesterday, but not for valentines...I was feeling a little low....
So tonight we will probably just have leftovers and blog a little to give you all a hard time....Oh maybe we will do a youtube night with romantic songs.... 
J
|
|
Sugar_Lee
|
Feb 14 @ 9:52AM
|
|
I just love everybody, but I be the first kind...To much so! 
|
|