Today I had a funeral and celebration of life to go to. I can only hope 1/4 of the people that showed up for this one, would come to mine, if they're still alive that is.
As I walked to the cemetary I realized I was walking behind my x-husband and his girl friend. No biggy, I'm always pleasant when I see them, after all, she's our oldest son's mother-in-law (that's how our son and her daughter met) and he's my son's dad.
As we got nearer to the grave site people congratulated them on getting married last weekend. That was a bit of a surprise but as long as it's good for our kids, I don't care. What blew me away was our two younger sons were not invited to the wedding. I know that neither one like to be around her but I would have thought their dad would have wanted them there for him anyway. Unless he did ask them and they said no. (I can't understand that either)
Well I'm not going to be the one to tell them either way. Lately I've gotten to be the "fun" parent so I'm not rocking that boat for nothing!
So my pondering question is this... would I marry someone my boys don't like? I don't think I would. I tried to raise my boys so they're fair and honest people. I'm always being told what great kids I have (ok young men but here, they're still my kids) and how proud of them I must be (I agree except for the rabbit thing *G*)... so yes, I do think if my boys had some strong objections, I'd have to think long and hard about getting married.
They did try to pick someone out for me once. It was pretty cute... only at the time I was still married to their dad (about 12 years ago). At dinner one night the two younger ones asked if I could find them a new dad like their best friend's dad. THEY had a clue long before I did!
So let me know, would your family & friends affect your decission to marry and why or why not?
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| Understanding men part #592418 |
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chris549547
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Mar 15 @ 8:39PM
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I feel that my friends and family know me very well and would not want anyone in my life that would not be benificial,if they did not like the woman I was with ,I would definately take their opinions into consideration
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smilin777
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Mar 15 @ 8:54PM
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So my pondering question is this... would I marry someone my boys don't like? I don't think I would. I tried to raise my boys so they're fair and honest people. I'm always being told what great kids I have (ok young me but here, they're still my kids) and how proud of them I must be (I agree except for the rabbit thing *G*)... so yes, I do think if my boys had some strong objections, I'd have to think long and hard about getting married. (Quote}
I would never marry anyone that my boy's didn't like.....one of my son's kept me from making another mistake. Thank you for posting, hope many will read and comment....
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whatagal
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Mar 15 @ 9:47PM
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When family members speak up about not liking someone, you better really listen closely. It's amazing the insight your family can have and usually they have your best interest at heart.
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beachgoer362
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Mar 15 @ 9:47PM
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I know my kids would just want to see me happy, and if he made me happy they would be all right with him. But I wouldn't marry someone they didn't like or get along with. I feel that would lead to us, me and my kids, seeing less of each other cause HE would be there and they wouldn't enjoy being around. Far as that goes, I wouldn't be dating someone my kids didn't like or get along with (if their reasons were justifiable). I feel men might tend to look at this differently than women do.
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cartay25
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Mar 15 @ 9:51PM
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I told my son that I would not marry anyone he did not like period. He may be old enough to be on his own but I refuse to have my own son uncomfortable about coming to my home just in case "he" was there. My son and I are a family and I won't make him feel put out just so I have someone in my life.
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ChipP
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Mar 15 @ 10:03PM
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I came close to killing my mother's last boyfriend..he was a borderline personality and a real psychopath. I hated the guy from the moment I met him...   Mom's new guy makes her much happier and is good to her, and it better stay that way or bloodshed and pain will follow....  I'm sure your boys would feel the same way about you. It's a different situation though when it's you Mother. We have to approve of any new man in our Mother's life or he's history....
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ANGRY_MUPPET
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Mar 15 @ 10:42PM
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i simply agree with chipP for the most part anyway.,lol 
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scorpiogirl36
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Mar 15 @ 10:58PM
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Nowadays relationships are tenuous at best...family is always the most important
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Fender
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Mar 15 @ 11:06PM
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I alway's wanted to scare away people that went near my mother. I didn't like any of them. Now she is married to a great man who is wonderful, I think I did a good job and she is grateful for the fact that I didn't like any of them.
...If my child didn't like who I was seeing, I would get rid of them immediately. There is always a bit of jealousy and depending on whatever situation you are in, divorced, separated, widowed, etc., the children may try to keep you single, trust me that is what I did. But sometimes children know before we do and we should listen.
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aFriendlyBlogger
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Mar 16 @ 1:15AM
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So my pondering question is this... would I marry someone my boys don't like? I don't think I would
This question can go several ways . It all depends on you really . Although, you would like to marry someone , despite what your boys like or don't like . But if you're just doing it for the interest of them , and for them . I can see why you wouldn't marry some guy , they may not like .
Good points there ! 
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IB4U
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Mar 16 @ 10:55AM
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Are we talking children or young adults here ????
Are we talking male or female children that are mature young adults...?
These are important questions to consider...
Another question would be , How long have you been divorced...?
A male and vice versa with father daughter relationships.Sibling at times takes over as head male/female in a family and feels he/she is being pushed out of his/her role and and has an instant dislike for anyone infringing on his/her so
called rights....
Whereas a new relationship can cause strife in a family, the situation takes time love and consideration on the part of ALL concerned and a NEW Male or Female
being brought into the family has to be aware and consideration of all these feelings and be adaptable.....
Normally a true love and caring on the part of the adults in a relationship can over come these feelings as stated above with love, caring, respect and understanding...
JMO
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