Dear Jimmy,
You lived next door to me for nearly eight years and in those eight years I saw you grow, triumph, struggle, and fail. Even though you're six years younger than me, we bonded early on as we shared a strange sense of humour and a love for violent video games. Remember that time we played Road Rash for hours on your PS2 and didn't care about the racing, we just ran over tons of old ladies? I still think that game is better than GTA.
From the time you were young, I knew that you were a girl inside. We kind of all did. I never said anything, though, because it wouldn't be right for me to tell you that at your age. It wasn't until you were thirteen and your mother was forcing her religion down your throat that you confided in me that you were confused about your gender and that you were bisexual.
We had to go through so much to keep our friendship alive, and finally, it was terminated when your mother decided that we were too far apart in age to be friends, and when she found out, unbeknownst to me, that you had a crush on me for all those years we had been friends.
You moved away during the summer and we haven't spoken since.
I feel like I've lost a part of my life.
And I also feel hopeless. Today I found out you were suspended from school for quite some time because you were drunk in school and found with marijuana and oxycodone in your possession. What happened to my friend, the innocent, happy Jimmy who I used to go to church with so we could laugh at all the funny Christian people? What happened to Jimmy who used to sit on the computer with me and watch videos from rathergood.com and weeblsstuff.com and then sing the songs for days and days on end? What happened to Jimmy who used to watch Little Britain with me and then repeat the taglines forever until my mum had to throw us out of the house?
Where did he go?
You're too young to be gripped by drug and alcohol addiction...you'll only be fifteen in August. I know your life is hard...I was there to see a lot of it. I know your mother's crazy, and your stepfather's violent, and your two sisters are mentally ill and get more attention than you, and I know that you feel you are trapped inside a body that you do not really belong in, but please...do not ruin your life like this.
You're too young, too good, too smart, too sweet, too funny, and too wonderful a person to give your life to drug addiction.
And you'll always be in my heart, my brother.
Your Friend,
Renae
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| ~Letter To My Little Brother~ |
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