Lessons In Online Love! posted 3/26/2008 7:20:12 PM | 3 kudos what's this?     report abuse

Bionic_Angel

I'm aware this site has done it's share of men and women bashing. To be honest I'm surprised anyone's shocked by this. Generally when people blog they're speaking from their own personal experience, which because it's THEIR experience only they are expert enough to interpret it to the rest of us. Whatever the circumstances, the feelings and emotions produced by said encounter are very real - so much so, we feel the urge to get it off our chests. There are always two sides to every story but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be allowed to tell our side.

Personally I believe women are no better than men. However, because I don't date women I don't experience them first hand and can only offer an opinion of what I, as a woman might have done under similar circumstances. Even so, it's easy for us to say hypothetically what we might have done when in truth we don't really know what we'd do until it happens to us.

So I'm writing this not to man bash but to get something off my chest. I have no doubt I'm in some way to blame in that I'm drawing these people to me, but so far am at a loss as to exactly what I'm doing wrong. I'm hoping it will come clear in time. So I'm not apportioning blame, I take full responsibility. However....

My bugbear right now is why certain men think the way to a woman's heart is to approach her first, ask very quickly to go to messenger without making an effort to get to know each other just a little through email, then once they have you on messenger they are sarcastic, argumentative, rude, obnoxious and like to give you their very low opinion of women.

Here are some of the responses I have received.

Can you not find someone who lives a little closer?

All the best ones are already taken as you know.

I took some new photos yesterday, I dyed my hair black.

Make sure all your hair matches

Men invariably want to discuss a woman's shape and provided they're respectful I don't mind. I like to know how they look too so I can visualise them better, especially if we might meet. It's a bit disconcerting when the response to being a bigger girl is.

I'd love to see your boobs bouncing up and down

I asked a guy why he was in touch with me when he lived so far away and he said it wasn't a problem, he liked driving, it was only 3 hours. However when it came closer to meeting he said.

Could we meet half way? To be honest I can't really be bothered to drive for 3 hours and all the way home again

To all of these, my response was ER, HOW ABOUT NO!!!!

I'm pretty good company on line and in person. I don't have to feel a physical attraction immediately to a guy to add him to messenger in order to get to know him a bit better. In my experience people don't always come across on line as they do in person, it all depends on how adept they are with a pc and how good they are at expressing themselves in words. However, it's obvious after a while when they lack charm.

I have been knocked before for comparing UK men to US and showing them in an unfavourable light - I'd love to say my experience since then has proven they are fairly equal, but alas all the above, and more besides came from UK men. They weren't boys, they were men ranging from the ages of 37-45. I've chatted to US guys in their early 20's who had more charm.

When I've questioned their lack of charm and brought up the Americans I'm told "They're all full of bullshit" and to this I say "Well that's as maybe but a bit of charm never goes amiss - and if they're bullshitting I'll find out some other way". I detect a bit of jealousy going on there. It happened during World War II. The US military weren't better men than the British but because UK women weren't used to being treated like ladies and swept of their feet the Yanks had their way with more than their fair share. Those women who went all the way were more than a little naive but it's understandable how it happened. I'm not so sure it would happen that way in this day and age. This isn't to say EVERY American man has charm, I've seen my fair share of those who don't on this site alone and it's not to say ALL UK men lack charm - I've been charmed by a few. Perhaps it's the ratio on this site that gives the Americans the edge.

I've also had my instincts questioned by UK men. Apparently I'm judgemental because I listen to my instincts. I'm sorry but when you've been on line as long as I have you get a sense of what people are like, you know who you're going to click with and who you're not. I have had men disappear on me and I just assumed I wasn't their type - I wouldn't call that judgemental - a little rude perhaps, they could have taken a moment to explain, but I respect their right to decide who they want to talk to.

Once they do find the women they want to talk to though it would be a really nice idea if they embraced a few old fashioned values and treated her like a lady before deciding she's not one..... that's what I call judgemental.

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Blogs by Bionic_Angel: Crappy Blog Posting Makes You Look Like A Dork! Two Knights in Shining Armour & A Wheelchair! Undercover Cat Man Is On The Loose! Spiritual Scammers Sleepless In Surgical Admissions Three Angels & A Hospital Bed Yeah I'm Back - What's It To Ya? What's The Point In Any Of 'This? A Little Sugar For My Bitterness! Keep Yer 'And On Yer 'Appenny! My Soul Sister Freak Like Me? Lessons In Online Love! What Goes Around Comes Around! Robbie Loves Me! Be Careful What You Wish For.... Recognising An Angel FAREWELL ANGEL603, HELLO BIONIC_ANGEL!!!