Freak Like Me? posted 3/28/2008 10:04:10 AM | 3 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: on line dating, matchdoctor

Bionic_Angel

Hey guys and girls,

Do you sit here sometimes thinking "I'm a pretty nice person and I'm on a dating site, there must be other's out there just like me"?

I keep hearing people say the majority of people on these site are desperate freaks, time wasters, perverts, idiots and piss takers. I would imagine since a site like this has to consist of a certain cross section of life's souls. Surely we're not all the same.

The common denominator has to be a need or desire to communicate. We might have this for different reasons.

Some of us just want to make contact with the outside world.

Some of us want to share our views and creativity.

Some of us want to make friends.

Some of us just want to flirt and have fun.

Some of us will get on to get off ...... and some of us wouldn't dream of it.

Guess what?...

Some of us actually want a serious long term relationship.

Now I know that might come as a shock to the cynical but trust me, it's true. The problem is it's impossible to know simply by communicating on line if those who say they want something long term are telling the truth. Quite honestly though, I'm pretty sure those who aren't genuine are fairly obvious, if not to begin with, it's apparent in a relatively short time. Scammers are obvious, fakes aren't always but they're usually inconsistent.

We all have things that keep us from being on line from time to time, the internet fails or life gets in the way. However, genuine people will do their best to get in touch when they can and if they don't want it to happen again they will take the necessary precautions to not lose touch with someone they care about and want to get to know better. For those of us waiting to hear from someone there is a period of much needed patience which not too many of us find easy. What is easy is to allow paranoia to take control and waste our energy worrying over the whys and wherefores. What's the point in stressing about something you know nothing about? What's the point in worrying if something will happen until it happens?

In this life, what is meant to be will happen and what isn't won't. Yes, we have control over our lives, but we don't have control over other peoples. If they want to be with us they will. If something prevents that right now then all we can do is get on with our lives and see what happens. It's all to easy to allow ourselves to sit and ponder, to wonder, worry, make excuses for them, even pine a little for them. It's really so unhealthy and unproductive to hold out for someone. I've been there myself, it's almost human nature, but there comes a time when the waiting, wanting and speculating has to stop.

I don't say we have to give up or simply be happy with our lot, but it's important to focus on the here and now, be happy in the moment rather than hanker for what might be. Sometimes something seems just within reach and suddenly it's so far away it might just as well be on the moon. It's at times like this we need to take stock, be practical about what is no longer within reach and assume if it's right for us it will appear again soon enough. It's time to get on with life as it was before they ever entered our mail box, our mind and our life.

Someone can very quickly become a part of our lives on line. This medium allows us to form relationships and attachments very quickly. I find it extraordinary but it's most definitely a real and powerful thing. It brings people together who might otherwise never know one another. As when we bump into someone at work or at a social function, even in the street, we know if they're our kind of person when we encounter each other on line. I've resisted and fought the idea that we can never know until we meet, but unless someone's completely socially inept and totally useless with computers, it's pretty impossible to keep the essence of who we are under wraps on line.

Confidence comes across in peoples words and pictures. A sense of humour is also evident in photographs as well as chat, as is creativity, warmth and compassion. Negative emotions such as bitterness, anger and bigotry comes across within minutes of reading an email or chatting on line. Use of emoticons is even an indication as to how someone thinks.

I have to say, I love being here at Matchdoctor, it's like a second home to me - though despite what some people think, I'm not here 24.7. I think this site has the cream of a cross section of society within it's boundaries. Sign up for other sites and watch the tumble weed roll across the emptiness. Here there is love, fun, laughter, hopes, dreams, agony, heartache, bitterness, anger, injustice and sometimes war. It's impossible to have the smooth without the rough, everything has it's equal and opposite side. Without the negative we'd never appreciate the positive. All of life's rich tapestry is woven into this site at times - music, poetry, thought provoking ideas, idle chit chat, news, gossip, views, blues. It's all here if we look carefully enough.

So to all those who think I'm just one of a group of lonely, deviant freaks with no intention of ever getting off my butt and meeting someone because I'm too damned stupid, I say........

Bet you wish your girlfriend was freak like me? In your dreams numb nuts!

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