Comfort Zones and Danger Zones and Zoning in... posted 3/30/2008 11:44:31 AM | 11 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: life, creativity, friendship

redtigr

Get out of your comfort zone... come on over to mine...

I've been in one of my moods: kinda pissy; a little depressed, feeling like I am somewhat trapped by circumstance - and my own nature. It could be the seasonal change, but I don't really believe that - and aren't most people overjoyed by the arrival of spring, me included? Yes. Is that a contradiction? well, yeah, maybe... This moodiness is part and parcel of me - or at least of part of me, or one of the me's. I get into a little funk and then I work on ways to get back in my zone.

Over the years I've learned to function just fine, despite these occasional slides into critical introspection. I'm working, and "nesting" - re-decorating, planting and doing spring clean up - and even learning to operate the front-end loader on the new tractor. I've gone out to do bids and meet with clients and I'm friendly and competent... but I tend to gush when I'm "faking normal" and I hate that. So I've spent a bunch of my precious time playing computer solitaire and thinking about who I am... who I really am, and why I get this way from time to time. Where is my comfort zone right now?

I've been exchanging thoughts and ideas with a friend whose powers of observation often astonish me. Her letters read like essays on human nature - wise, insightful and compassionate - but ever present is the keen edge of a rapier wit. Everything is fair game - including our own idiosyncrasies. When I sent her a long rambling email about what I was thinking and doing, here's how she responded:

I'm happy to be here to listen, I sorta like your weird mood, and even the title of your letter made me smile.

Just those few words; just the fact of someone not only not minding if I wasn't "myself" - but responding positively, gave me quite a lift and this is what I wrote back:

I feel better today having written that stuff to you.. ...and let's face it: by most people's standards I'm weird all the time, so why not groove on it..?. I mean, everyone's got their own personal characteristics - the little foibles and bits that make them who they are, right? So why fight it? Why not make the most of it..? Just like a "happy accident" in art, I should use my weirdness and emphasize the odd things that make me who I am...

I like feeling encouraged to take what life has given me and make some of that damned lemonade... Even being grounded in eccentricity is okay if that's who you really are.

And here's some of that lemonade...

I did do something really cool last week. Every year I gather up all the diet coke and Friskies aluminum cans for my annual trip to the scrapyard. I usually end up with anywhere between fifty and eighty pounds and at 40 - 45 cent/lb. It's a tiny windfall - but I think I do it as much for the experience as for the fun money.

I love going to the scrapyard.!! I'm reminded of my college days, when I would go with my fellow classmates to pick out steel plate and all manner of things for the creation of sculpture. I'm fascinated watching heavy equipment shoving and shoveling and scooping, and piles of steel and squashed cars and welding torches and bustling action and dust and strange smells. I find it all incredibly stimulating, like sped-up life: stuff being destroyed just so it can be re-created into other stuff.

Okay, I don't deny that it's really fun being the only woman anywhere around - and getting lots of special attention. ;-) But that's just gravy...

Knowing copper was high, and since I'm doing that cleaning out/nesting thing, I loaded up the six big coffee cans of copper welding rod ends that the ex left here years ago. I also gathered up all the old aluminum odds and ends including lawn chairs w/o webbing, several aluminum pots and baking pans, and two sections of siding off an old trailer that were laying up in the pasture for years. That van was full up!

So I get there and it's all busy and invigorating and I'm having a great time while they weigh my stuff. Cans: 57 lbs... clean aluminum: 17 lbs... "light" aluminum (the chair frames): 7 lbs.... and copper ? Well, they take a knife and cut into it to be sure it's not plated and it passes the test... 75 lbs. Wow, I knew those cans were heavy!

So instead of the usual $25 or $30 (that I always use to buy myself a nice dinner out or "luxury" groceries like shrimp and classy frozen entrees)... I drove out of there with $245.00.!!!

Not bad for a morning's work - or should I say fun... I'm still smilin.'

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Blogs by redtigr: Mercy drops round us are falling... an update, Part II Mercy drops round us are falling... an update, Part I Why we are in such a mess... How Dry I Am... The Little Red Roan, Revisited On Penning A Poem (for Unionman) New people... Comfort Zones and Danger Zones and Zoning in... To reap the whirlwind... In the South, February is April... "Forever is composed of nows" The real thing... I, for one, am not from Venus... Superpowers ...and supersculpture... email exposure... the tar pool... Let the rain come down on me.. That Little Red Roan... I seek... Illustrating a blog... November 9, 2007... a blog about life, without rancor Sunday morning... early. ...the quality of light... (a tardy repost) Ride the horse, not the saddle... Take a clean plate on every trip to the buffet...