She Walks Alone posted 4/12/2008 1:01:08 PM | 0 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: lonely, woman, heaven

1ladylooking

Let me preface this piece by stating that I am a writer, first and foremost, and this piece was written after my friend and I were talking about snowflakes falling gently on your face and then about trucks going down the road.....it is fiction and I am NOT suicidal.....But, stories take on a life of their own.....
It is cold.....very....as she stands in her white fur coat near the bridge. It is just another Christmas for her. Another lonely Christmas. She stands as the breeze blows thru her hair and the snowflakes begins to fall. As she stands there, she ponders what it must be like to be a lonely single snowflake, falling gently thru the sky to land softly on her face, it's journey over. And, she begins to cry.
1. She thinks about all the years that have passed and wonders why she is still alone. The only heartbeat she hears is her own. There is no one to go home to, a few friends to call on the phone with their own lives, but, none that touch her this Christmas night. As she thinks, she begins to walk with no destination in mind. Seeing others bustle about with laughter and joy on their faces, as her heart is breaking in two. There is no one. Not one person that will wonder where she is tonight. Not one person that wants her to share the Holidays at their hearth. And, she walks.
It is getting darker as she gets farther from town but she doesnt seem to notice. As the tears run down her face, she thinks about all the years and all the deaths in her life. She remembers her child and the man she once loved. She wonders what her life would have been had they lived. But, the sad truth is that they did not. And, it has touched her life every day for over thirty years. There have been brief glimpses of what could have been only to be dashed away by some fate of chance, or some twist of life. She remembers her life of terror and tries to understand how and why it happened. And, she wonders.
She wonders about the man she so desperately loved, what just a year ago? To look back on what she endured in the name of love. To wonder how she could ever possibly believe that he actually loved her. To never understand how he could ever deliberately break her heart. And, she walks....and, she cries.
By now, she can no longer see where she is or where she is going, nor does she care. She has finally come to the end of her life and she is tired. She has cried an ocean of tears only to be replaced by more. She can no longer go on and bear the weight of so many years. And she cries.
She cries over lost babies, lost loves and lost time. The one and only thing she fears, is life. So, she walks and she cries, trying to decide what to do. Trying to decide if tomorrow is worth it. The semi trucks pass her on that lonely highway, on that cold Christmas night. She wonders, briefly, where they are going....where have they been....are they lonely too? But, it really doesn't matter, because she is going nowhere.
Tears....so many tears now, that she can no longer see. She hears a loud horn and looks up in time to see the headlights. The very last thing she sees are the bright square headlights on the semi. Vaguely, she is aware of a sensation of flying. Her white coat flying out behind her like angel wings. No longer cold, no longer crying, she lands in the snowbank. A man is running to her and, now, he is crying. He gathers her in his arms and begins to pray for this woman in the white coat. She opens her eyes, and can feel hs arms holding her close as his tears fall on her face. He is begging her not to die, he is telling her he is sorry. And he cries.
The last thing she remembers, is reaching up to touch his face. And, she smiles. She tells him that it is all right. That it is finally time for her to leave. And, he cries. Finally, someone that cares if she lives or dies. Slowly, her hand falls to her side as she breathes her last breath....as she whispers....goodbye.

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