I find it astonishing that there are grown men on this site who are unable to accept rejection. I just had another one email me and when I viewed his profile and decided that he and I were not a match I politely emailed him. I told him that we were not a match and wished him luck in his search. His response was a nasty one with name calling. What's up with this?
I realize that these men have insecurities that a dating site won't fix. I believe that you first have to love yourself and who you perceive yourself to be. I've certainly had my share of rejection. That's life. Accept it and move on. It's impossible to please all the people all the time so settle for some of the people some of the time.
I talk to a lot of people on a friendship basis. Just because I am a friendly person doesn't mean that I want to date you. Some people choose not to email someone that they're not interested in at all. At least I'm letting you know and wishing you luck.
Someone on a dating site once told me it goes like this. On a scale of 1 - 10 where ever you fall you can only move up by two. You can move down the scale to date someone less attractive than yourself but you may move up the scale by only two. For instance if you are a four then don't try to date a ten. Don't ask me what I view you to be on the scale or what I view myself to be. It's a personal assessment. I'm sure this is controversial as people will say attractiveness to them isn't important but there are those of us who find attractiveness very important. In viewing a match I first look at a picture to see if I find myself attracted to that person. If there is no attraction then there is no attraction. I'm sorry but that is life too.
We all have our own reasons for being on this site. Some of us have time constraints and are so busy we don't have time to date conventionally. Others find it easy to chat through a computer. What I think is being perceived is that there is a sense of desperation if you are on a dating site. Then the notion would be that you'll date anyone because you are so hard up for a date. Please don't make me laugh. Well I for one will dis-spell this notion for I am far from desperate. In fact I'm quite selective. I clearly state who I'm looking for. If a guy takes the time to read my profile then he will at least have some idea if he and I are compatible or not. Life is a gamble. There are no guarantees just as there are no guarantees on this site.
This may sound cruel but if you want to be a cry baby go play in a sand box not a dating site. Am I the only one who gets these nasty little cry babies' emails?
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Blogs by Blueschic:
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| Unable To Accept Rejection |
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beanie68
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Apr 13 @ 4:58PM
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Girlfriend, I hear ya! I have gotten a few of those as well! 
Rejection sux, no doubt but being stright up and honest does NOT! 
What is everybody lookin' for? HONESTY, Right? 
Just because you aren't interested in someone and you let them know? Well, in MY book ... THAT IS honesty 
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CHARLIgurl1
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Apr 13 @ 4:59PM
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No youre not the only one!
I had a few of those in the beginning..
I think that some, think like its a store for dates.. they see what they like and go for it..
"Hmm I like her.. I'll e mail her."
Then cant beleive it when they get the rejection.
It really isnt as simple as that. Compatibility is a huge part, its no good one thinking that youre the one.. if you dont think likewise.
You have to break some eggs before you can make the perfect omlette.
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ANGRY_MUPPET
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Apr 13 @ 5:01PM
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If a guy takes the time to read my profile then he will at least have some idea if he and I are compatible or not.
now you found the problem  .,most guys can't read here  .,and BTW.,i'm a 10.,.,well,,ok,.a 9 .,8?.,  .,and i will only accept an "11" 
jus' sayin
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 5:02PM
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I'm glad I'm not alone on this one. I'll tell you I've gone from beautiful in one email to being the old hag that lives with the troll under the bridge in the next email. Actually I pitty the poor soul who does end up with these guys!!
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texasblues
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Apr 13 @ 5:12PM
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I've always accepted being a reject  And this troll under the bridge would love to have you there. 
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 5:15PM
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Blues...
OMG...you're in blogland. I feel like you're my partner in crime...LOL My very first friend on here from the video side of match. Love ya!
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Redwicket
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Apr 13 @ 5:15PM
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Well you know, some people Are alone for a good reason... What I get a Lot on these
sites is pushy guys...they aren't contented to email me here and spend some time
finding out IF there is a connection. NO, they either want me to run out the door at the
first email to meet them, or email them here, there and everywhere else other than on
the site that we are on...They don't want to spend Any time working on a friendship
first, so usually after a few emails that's the end of it. Pushy guys Bite...
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edthepoet
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Apr 13 @ 5:23PM
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I would have to say your 99.9% correct with this blog, according to the women I speak of.
I don't nor can I understand either gender can't take the hint of a very polite rejection.
Just because anyone choose not to have or venture into a relationship doesn't mean that the person they are not wanting to explore things with are acceptable to others, rather it's just being honest right from the beginning. Isn't that what people truly want, a person who is excited to want to explore,not one who has to belittled or demean into one.
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 5:25PM
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Well after posting this blog I had another one that had no picture tell me I was a bossy woman and he'll go elsewhere. I wouldn't give him my email address for a personal picture. I'm with you Redwicket, post your pictures on the site just like the rest of us did and take your chances. Not you Muppet we already know you're an 8,9,10,11 ....and Blues I know what you look like with your cute self!
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IrisRain
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Apr 13 @ 5:26PM
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 Well Said! 
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 5:29PM
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That's right Ed but the way these guys react I really think they have anger management problems. They appear to be loose canons.
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JimNastics
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Apr 13 @ 6:00PM
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You have to break some eggs before you can make the perfect omlette.
Wow ! She cooks too ! 
I'll have to move her up one on that scale. 
Everyone has the right to reject or accept whoever THEY want. 
I've been rejected 8,672,871 times.
But, I think Charlize Theron is beginning to wearing down.
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 6:10PM
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I hear ya Jim. I've been rolling Sam Elliott in the hay for years.....he just doesn't know about it...LOL
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fenderchick
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Apr 13 @ 6:10PM
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Some people just can't accept no thanks for an answer 
Sucks to be them
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Redwicket
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Apr 13 @ 6:20PM
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Ahhh...Sam Elliott...Thanks for the visual  Or is it the audio, love that voice 
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 6:27PM
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Redwicket....Oh yeh...Sam Elliott....it's audio, visual and everything in between...it's ALL good!!!!
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EmmeS61
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Apr 13 @ 6:28PM
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No matter how politely we try, some people just don't accept no for answer.
Since I have been in a Bon Jovi kind of mood this weekend, just thought I would sent these lyrics on to you...
Stick to your guns
Ain't nobody gonna hurt you, baby
You can go for the trigger
But only if you have to
Aim from the heart
Some will love and some will curse you, baby
And you can go to war
But only if you have to
It's only if you have to ~JBJ
Don't ever compromise yourself, but I know I don't have to tell you that, a sista never would
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 6:31PM
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Thanks.... Soul Sista!
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Redwicket
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Apr 13 @ 6:34PM
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Do you know that Sam Elliott has a ranch in Oregon? My sister was a buyer for Coastal
Farms in Eugene and he use to come in to shop...Not much work got done when he
was there I'll tell you
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WouldntItBeGr8To
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Apr 13 @ 6:43PM
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Just because I am a friendly person doesn't mean that I want to date you.
That might be the problem  In here, if guy gets a response, he thinks he is half way to the bedroom
(Me? yeah, guilty as charged, those darn 's get me all hot and bothered  )
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pantyinspector
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Apr 13 @ 6:46PM
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Unable To Accept Rejection
thats cause they thought you were gunna allow them a night or some nights of hot stuffing sex younglady , theres a thin line between flirting having a giggle and oi i want you .... depending on how n what you wrote may have lead someone down a path , you may not have of had a connection but the chap you were speaking to did ....
hence his reaction , doesnt make him insercure just was his way of exspressing "his time has been wasted after spending time chatting" its call the end of syndrome ...
for him you were a deadend , he liked you and you ran game on him , no one reacts if they dont feel anything the situation deserves it .. you get me , fix up ...........
flirting sux if directed towards a person of interest , theres ways of saying things that are light hearted that the user doesnt consider the flirting act is aimed at them ...
both parties are at fault , as it takes 2 to inter react so live and learn , look for patterns and dont souly blame the other party as hay again it takes 2 to tango ...
panty
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 6:54PM
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Back up brother.....You've got your panties in a knot. I sure in the hell know the difference between flirting and talking. If I'm flirting then I'm interested. Hell no these guys didn't get the wrong signals because I didn't give any. If I tell you it's snowing here do you interpret that to mean that I'm cold and need you to come and jump in bed with me to warm me up? Well that makes about as much sense as what these guys took for me being interested. Does hello mean I want to have sex with you now too?
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 6:56PM
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Redwicket...Did you know that I'm moving to Oregon to be a ....well.... Ranch Hand...LOL
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simplegal873
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Apr 13 @ 7:03PM
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I think most of us have situations like this. It just goes to show that the ones who do this are so immature that you made the right choice by not getting to know them!
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 7:12PM
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Simplegal...
You are absolutely right on that one. Panty wants to defend the guys but what this amounted to was a guy emailing me saying he was 49 and wanted to get to know me. My response was that his profile said he was 38. He emails back that he'll have to chnage it. I said it really didn't matter I was just pointing out the error but I felt he wasn't my type but wished him good luck. Then he sent the nasty email. Now would someone please tell me how that constitutes running a game on him? Yes it takes two to Tango but I never even got up to dance...Geeze!!!
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teacuppoms
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Apr 13 @ 7:19PM
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my recomendation after beeing in this site for 8 years is
to block the unwanted ones and no response to those who u dont like from the start
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 7:39PM
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I've definitely blocked a few after they've hurled insults. I've never considered blocking someone from the start. I can appreciate that your tolerance has probably gotten to be less over the years.
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luvmeluvmykittys
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Apr 13 @ 7:54PM
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Nah girl.........ur not the only one getting that kind of flak from some of these men. I do the same thing.try to be polite & tell them I don't feel we're a match, wish them well, etc., but then they come back & get all beligerent. They definitely have "issues" when it comes to rejection that nobody here can fix.
Then of course you have the other men who like to play the other side of that game.....the ones who just want to string you along....."talk the talk but can't walk the walk".  Then when you turn you're back on them, they make you feel as though you're doing something to them. I don't get it?! How many times & for how long can you reach out to someone & they just keep "not being there emotionally", much less any other way, before you just need to keep on steppin??
I swear at times.........I feel like ya just can't win! You're daeymed if you do & daeymed if you don't. 
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nurse4u92
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Apr 13 @ 7:59PM
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men don't like rejection! But they don't need to be nasty. Maybe you can report it as abuse or something, and get the wackos' kicked off.
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 8:04PM
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Nurse... I did report as abuse the guy who called me a C***. I must admit that another guy on here encouraged me to do it as I was complaining to him about it. The last time I checked he was still here so little good that did.
Luvme.....I don't know if I should be glad or sad. I've never goten to the point of being strung along on here. What am I missing???LOL
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loreal
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Apr 13 @ 8:10PM
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Yes, Sista...Some men and also women, I would suppose, are vindictive, irrational and just plain weird after you kindly decline further advances!
I say they are just acting childish!
and I don't play along with that game!
L
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luvmeluvmykittys
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Apr 13 @ 8:23PM
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Blues..........
You're not missin anything. That other sort of behavior is just another "issue" that these men have. These guys just simply do not know how to accept kindness & anything that may go along with it. They may have been rejected before & now just don't know how to handle attention.........they simply are unable to act accordingly. So it's simple...........if someone doesn't reject them, they deny themselves. Of course, they may not realize that's what they do. But in reality, it's a game they play. Let me see how long I can string this one along...even though I really don't want her. It's a safety net for them, so to speak. Like that they don't need to follow thru on anything & therefore take a chance on being hurt.
I know.........confusing huh?
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ragtopcookie
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Apr 13 @ 8:39PM
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perhaps if you were to ugly yourself up abit......wart on the end of your nose.....quit washing your hair......maybe the guys you are talking about might lose intrest in you.......hehehehehehhehe....just a thought......cookie
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lefthandedluckie
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Apr 13 @ 8:42PM
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I knew it!!!!!
All along I knew you did not like Democrats!!
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vettman454
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Apr 13 @ 8:49PM
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I feel for you for I have ran across this with a few women. Some women as well as men can not take rejection period. I have wished them good luck with only to receive a nasty email message cursing me. I put on my profile, not looking to meet anyone, but that does not make any diference to some. I am not much on a scale of 1 to ten but I do know what I like and want. I gave up dating over 2 years ago now and I believe that was the best decision I have made in a long time after seeing what goes on with these dating sites. So don't pay much attention to the cry babies who can't take rejection,, just block them and move on and good luck to you in the future.
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brunettee62
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Apr 13 @ 8:51PM
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I have to agree with Blues, on how she handled this situation.
If one responds with a note saying "you wish them luck in there search"
I would say that is a very polite,and decent way of saying your not interested. Rejection is never easy.
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 8:55PM
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Hey Cookie...
I did that, glued warts on my face, a fake nose, blackened my teeth, put green makeup on and posted it in my profile. Any other suggestions????LOL
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Blueschic
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Apr 13 @ 8:58PM
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Lefthandedluckie..... Could it be that I was married to one for 24 years???LOL
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AttractedCentaur
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Apr 14 @ 9:59AM
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Hmmmmm ...
Seems I too have had the occasional email from the ladies concerning the very same things. I tell them I am both not interested and in a relationship yet they continue sending the emails/insults. I just block them and keep on walking ...
As for the profiles, lies , sex, video tapes, ... oops, I digress. I had a friend who went out with some of these so called "men" that never did match their profiles. In most cases she walked out on them the moment they would meet. One guy even went so far as to say he did it as a joke  . I would not have called it funny, myself.
As for myself, I have had a lot of rejections. However, I always try to be nice about it and move on. Some of these, I too have become friends. Others, well ... they just did not work out.
But, there is never any reason to get all ugly about it. Maybe I am the exception here ...
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pantyinspector
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Apr 14 @ 2:02PM
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Back up brother.....You've got your panties in a knot. I sure in the hell know the difference between flirting and talking. If I'm flirting then I'm interested. Hell no these guys didn't get the wrong signals because I didn't give any. If I tell you it's snowing here do you interpret that to mean that I'm cold and need you to come and jump in bed with me to warm me up? Well that makes about as much sense as what these guys took for me being interested. Does hello mean I want to have sex with you now too?
flirting is talking and as its only words people interpitate them differently ?
from the word go ie someone messages you via your profile you have to understand that the thought of "there ok has entered there mind if not they would jog on"
if the person who recieves the mail , theres no reason abone this earth if you dont reply or just reply after you have recieved a mail that the person will get agro [fact]
it takes more , ...
and just because you said hello to me dont mean i want to get my freek on with you , standard ... but if you approached me with mail asking just questions id answer , if you approached me saying this n that on me id reflect and reply ... if i thought no even though you could be a nice person and didnt go much on the picture n profile i wouldnt reply ...simple ...
replying to mail in a lot of degrees not all but alot is the beginning of a flirtous online
syndrome ...
ofcourse this is just my view but hay ... this is how i am approaching this site ...
end of story / panty
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Classy_Blonde
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Apr 14 @ 2:05PM
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end of story / panty
Thank God!!!! 
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Blueschic
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Apr 14 @ 2:58PM
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Panty...
Thanks for your views. But in response to your explanation I can only say...Huh?
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Blueschic
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Apr 14 @ 3:07PM
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Panty...
I'll give this to ya. You have coined Flirtatious Online Syndrome now known as FOS. I am simply going to respond that I can not mislead someone into thinking that by simply answering an email I am engaging in FOS. There will be no FOSing for me. No way, no how.
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