One door Closes, another door Opens. posted 4/15/2008 2:41:23 PM | 8 kudos what's this?     report abuse

inxs900

As our parents age we are never quite ready for the inevitable end result. Everyday that passed , every time my phone would ring I had a sunken feeling within my heart. My mother had been very ill for the last year.

As I was diving down the road on the day before good Friday the phone rang and as I looked at my caller I.D I knew that the news would not be good. Modern day marvels like caller I.D bring forth expectancies of news not yet uttered. I was told that my mother was failing and was not expected to make it through that night and to prepare myself for the worst. Around two hours later the same number showed up on my cell phone I now knew the news that lay ahead and of course my intuition was correct my mother had passed away in her sleep.

I managed to get a flight the very next morning and started my 16 hour flight back home to Scotland. On arrival I find that Easter is a major holiday and so basically everything is closed down untill the Tuesday and so I can do little to start the process of the funeral arrangements. Later in the week I had everything organised and took my mother to her final resting place where she was born and scattered her ashes along side my father in the river where they met in the early 1920,s. I have closure and my mother has no pain to which I am thankful.

Next day I went to Edinburgh to take photographs and have a day out , since I would not be coming back to Scotland for a while I thought that seeing all my birth documentation was lost somewhere I would just go get a copy for my records. On arrival at register house I was led along a path and into some old building where all the records are held. I was given a large envelope which had been laying dormant for some fifty years. It was opened in front of me and as the paperwork slid out I find the "other me", in other words all the information regarding my adoption that I did not know about. I was always told that I was adopted but never investigated to the full extent of knowing my birth name etc.

And so I wandered along some ten blocks taking photographs of all the historic building's had the information that I went for and so I have all day to wander about this amazing city. There is an organisation in Edinburgh called Birthlink that reunites families of adopted people I thought I may as well register seeing I was visiting, the people in the other building said that most folks do that after finding out their information and so without much thought I wandered along.

On arrival at the office I filled out the paperwork and gave over my new found information to the councilor. I was then told that there is a waiting period of four to six months for searches. This is a voluntary group of people who run this organisation and so funds are very limited and they are swamped with people searching for their relatives. I was told that seeing that I had travelled so far to register they would do a quick search and see what comes up.

As I was sitting in the waiting room the door opened and the counselor came in with good news, my birth mother had registered herself on Birthlink and so she had been looking for me for over twenty years. This of course took me by surprise she then went on to tell me that they would continue at a later date to investigate the finer details and get back to me. I thanked them very much and was just about to leave when I was asked to go back to the waiting room as they had found some more information.

After ten minutes or so the door opened and in came the counselor, she asked me to prepare myself for some good news. My birth mother had a hand written letter explaining why she had to put me up for adoption. This was the saddest letter that could be imagined, it explained how she fought against the many people who wanted her to give the baby up, she continued to fight against them and at the end she had little choice in the matter. She was sent to various outlaying places as the pregnancy started to show . She explained how she washed and fed me and spent many hours playing with me over the three months that she had me. She went on to explain the worst days of her life when she had to sign the paperwork to adopt me out and then the handing me over after the three months was up tore her apart. Then at the end she leaves me two sentences that said "I have always loved you and never forgotten you". I have always known this and I think it must have been during the three months in her care that I have always felt her love, I cannot explain , but that's what I have always felt within.

Well Birthlink are presently on the road to contact, they have an address in Australia where my mother two sisters and my brother live today. Apparently I have a rather large family living in Australia who are looking for their son, brother, uncle and great uncle so I am hoping to spend Christmas in a warmer climate than Alaska .

My mother passed away and apparently sent me on to find my other mother and family, one can never tell what is around the next corner of life.

Birthlink is a Scottish Go-between service and the people who volunteer are amazing, thanks to all. I found out this information in under three hours of stepping off the train in Edinburugh and my life has now taken another turn into the unknown

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