The Believer Achievers Club! posted 4/18/2008 9:46:41 AM | 0 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: positive thinking, love, law of attraction

Bionic_Angel

I was going to put it to the vote but I liked this name the best for two reasons - it not only sums up the very attitude we need in life to have exactly what we want, I was thinking it could also count as a qualification, a BA in life and love. Thanks for that Cartay, I love it.

It was suggested to me I post a list of suitable attributes for a partner but I feel those things are pretty personal to each of us. One man's meat and all that, we are all attracted to different things. However, what attracts us is something we do need to look at carefully. We are often attracted to someone for all the wrong reasons or they are attracted to us because they need something from us and will drain us in the long run. For example I have always been attracted to fairly immature men. Of course my mind set wasn't "find me an immature man" I was drawn to the young guy in the man, the fun side, the sexy side, the carefree attitude. Of course they were drawn to me too, strong, capable and nurturing, like their mothers. An automatic attraction but not condusive to an equally balanced relationship. Ultimately I became tired of being their Mother and the relationships ended. Fortunately the last one didn't last long before I realised the pattern was repeating itself. So how to change that in me that is essentially good but attracting the wrong kind of man to me? I have struggled with that for so long. It is only now I'm confined to my home, unable to do very much for myself that I realise I need to let go of the need to do absolutely everything and allow others to take the strain sometimes. In order to attract a capable partner I need to accept he might actually be more competent than I am at certain things. Of course past experience makes me want to argue that I had to do it because they were so incompetent, but of course they were lazy little boys who just wanted to be looked after, so naturally it was easier to get on and do it all.

I've never been in a relationship with a capable man so it's hard for me to imagine how that would feel. Positive thinking is one thing but I understand we need to "feel" how it would be to have what we want for it to manifest in our lives. All I can do is be open to the idea of capable, confident, competant man coming into my life and complimenting my best qualities. It sounds like a dream come true and the mere idea of it makes me smile from the inside out. There was a time the cynic in me couldn't smile at the thought because I truly didn't believe he existed. No wonder I've never found him. I have never given up on the idea there is someone out there for me and that is why I've had a string of men attracted to me, but just "someone" isn't enough, he's got to be the right someone for me. Unless I put out there to the Universe the kind of someone that is all I will get will be "not sure what you want but, hey, try this". I've had enough of "try this" and it doesn't fit, I'm looking for my ideal match. Some say this is impossible, and I suspect they're all still single and miserable. I'm not about to join their ranks.

He won't be perfect but he'll be perfect for me. He'll be his own person but he'll want to spend time with me. He'll want to take care of me but he'll allow me to do the same for him when needed. He'll be prepared to work hard at his job and our relationship because he'll realise they're both equally important. He'll encourage me in my career and allow me to be my own person too. He'll be able to talk to me about anything. He won't feel obliged to run everything by me but he'll want to because I'll be his best friend and confidante. When this man comes into my life I won't care what he looks like because he'll be beautiful to me. He'll feel the same about me, that I'm perfect just the way I am, flaws and all.

The list isn't exhaustive but it's a start. I think it's important to think of inner qualities rather than physical or mental attributes. I've dated guys who were more than pleasing to the eye but they broke my heart, there's more to life than looks. That's not to say I won't be delighted if my man turns out to be God's gift to women but it's not something I focus on any more. What I do believe though, which I didn't for many years, is I deserve a beautiful man as much as the next girl and he'll never be out of my league unless he believes himself to be - in which case I don't want him anyway. If he's been in a relationship before he will have taken responsibility for his part in the breakdown of that relationship. I have done the same with mine, even though it would have been easy to have played the victim card all these years. Yes, he did the dirty in the end but we were both jointly responsible for the breakdown of the marriage, it always takes two, even if one of us is simply allowing the other to behave badly or in an unacceptable manner.

So that's me for now. I am sticking with the rules. I look in the mirror every day, have done for some time now, and see myself as beautiful and worthy. There was a time way back when I couldn't bear to look at myself. Even though there are times when I despair of the opposite sex, I still believe there are good and bad in both sexes. I look at all those lovely ladies on this site and wonder what the hell it is some men want, but seeing this ladies makes me believe there has to be just as many good men out there too. All we need is one each after all, one really good one. Like I said about friendship in another blog, the measure isn't how many we attract it's the quality of those who remain.

Would anyone else like to add their positive comment for the day? I need to keep up with the members and make sure they're sticking to the rules. Let me know how you plan to make the necessary changes to bring love into your life. We can all learn and be inspired by one another. This isn't a girls club, so men feel free to join in too. After all, it's you we're looking for.


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Blogs by Bionic_Angel: Missing But Not Lost! Conversations With Jim Sadness Is Beauty Angel's Choice of UK Men Online Totally Sucks!!!!!!!!!!! The Life & Times Of A One-Legged Woman! HERSTORY HERSTORY The Reason I'm Alive! One of Life's Mysteries! I'm So Sorry Folks! Ode To The Latest Troll : No More Room Under The Bridge! The Believer Achiever's Club Has Moved to The Forums The Believer Achievers Club! Dirty Old Women! Everything Changes! Join The Club! Crappy Blog Posting Makes You Look Like A Dork! Two Knights in Shining Armour & A Wheelchair! Undercover Cat Man Is On The Loose! Spiritual Scammers Sleepless In Surgical Admissions Three Angels & A Hospital Bed Yeah I'm Back - What's It To Ya? What's The Point In Any Of 'This? A Little Sugar For My Bitterness!