......................POLICE COMMENTS........................... posted 4/19/2008 12:53:25 PM | 13 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: humour, police

Tiramisu4u

These are actual Police Comments taken off police videos around the country and were faxed to me...needed to share the giggles.....


1. *You didnt think we give pretty women tickets? You're right..we dont. Sign here.*

2. *I'm glad to hear the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.*

3. *No Sir, we dont have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we are allowed to write as many tickets as we can.*

4. *How big were those *two beers* you say you had?*

5. *In God we trust...all others we run through NCIC.*

6. *Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.*

7. *Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop.*

8. *The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?*

9. *Warning? You want a warning? Ok, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you ANOTHER ticket!*

10. *You dont know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?*

11. *Yes, sir..you can talk to the Shift Supervisor, but I dont think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I was the Shift Supervisor?*

12. *Can you run faster than 2200 feet per second? Cuz thats the speed of the bullet that will be chasing you.*

13. *If you run, you will only go to jail tired.*

14. *If you take your hands off the car, I will make your Birth Certificate a worthless document.*

15. *Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they are new. They will stretch after you wear them a while.*

16. *You know, stop lights dont come any redder than the one you just went through.*

Enjoy, and remember..Law Enforcement DOES have a sense of humour

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