Errrr...I Don't Know About You, Butt...~*~ posted 4/20/2008 4:52:03 PM | 12 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: commentary, racing, stupid, people, whatever

PullMyFinger

~*~ I had absolutely nothing to do with the sinking of HMS Titantic, as far as you know ~*~

Does anyone else have the impression that something went horribly wrong with that Chat thing MD offers? I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I just have that sinking-backed-up-poopy feeling; can't really explain it.

Gas maybe....

Step away folks, step away.


I'm a huge race fan. I love it all, well, most of it. I love NASCAR, Indy, F1 Racing. Most of it puts the ol' bondo in the bumper, if'n you know what I mean. I like NHRA, the racing that pits two cars against each other and takes place in a straight line, but not nearly as much as road racing, oval and everything else in between. So much so that I often find myself racing Sci in the most unusual of ways.

We'll be sitting there, enjoying the day; I'll look at her, she'll look at me, love permeates the room but I can see that closed-knees, watery-eyed look she gets when the dam is about to burst. And the race is on.

I come from the Dale Sr. school of racing, known throughout the racing community as The Intimidator. He did a header into the wall a few years ago unfortunately, and is no longer with us, but he certainly left a mark on racing, no pun intended.

So there we are, staring each other down. We have two toi toi's in the house, but the downstairs one is the crown jewel of everything holy; it's my throne. Sure, you say, as the man I should have a sort of chivalry attached to my psyche and graciously wave Sci past, allowing her to take the kids body surfing to the oval beach first. Naw, fk that. That might be what you do, but not me. It's boogedy-boogedy time here at the Standard Tri-Oval.

Being of the #3ish (Dale's number), I don't make it easy on anyone, including the love of my life, Sci. I'm not opposed to trading pseudo paint with her, or even crowding her into a wall. I've even been known to block her with anything in reach, chairs, tables, carpet runners, the cat, squirrels, ball bearings. Fk you, this is the business of racing; no one and I mean NO ONE escapes without "tire rub".

It's because of that you'll often hear the sweet sound of victory coming from "The Plunge". Daz right, the unmistakable sound of relief; the howitzer has fired and baby, it ain't shy. Oh sure, Sci will scream and whine, she'll beg for mercy and sometimes lay a stream of estrogen polish on the wood floor, but I won. I'm not above doing a victory lap, butt-belching “We Are The Champions” all the way, then climbing on top of the porcelain god and doing a back-flip when finished.

Victory baby...that's what it's all about. The sweet smell of VICTORY!

Alrighty, to the point of this blog; if you’re still with me and not hunched over hurling. This weekend a young lady of 26, slight of physique but full of courage and potential, kicked the ever-living shit out of dozens of men.

"It was devastating!" says Enrique Moldanar, "She came out of nowhere and before I knew it, my spleen fell out of my butt. I'm shocked!"

"I was entranced, I knew it might happen eventually, but she got all "Matrix" on us, there was little we could do", says Iyoko Kasahaya.

“My dick, has anyone seen my dick?” said Indy driver Rick Adams.

This weekend, Danica Patrick kicked some serious shit in Japan, winning her first IndyCar race at the Indy Japan 300 in Motegi, Japan. She drives for Andretti Green Racing here in the US. This is the first time EVER that a woman, and she's not the first to attempt it, but the first time a woman has actually parked in winners circle following an IndyCar race. Bloody awesome....

Ya gotta fkn love it. Danica, this is for you, ~*~, but be careful with it, idiots wrapped in moron are known to take offense to its distribution, but I doubt you’d care.


Yer Pal.
PMF

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Blogs by PullMyFinger: Psssst...C'mere, I Have Something For You..shhhh. The Mother Of All Blogs ~*~ ButtinskiBeGone, A Revolutionary New Product, Available NOW!!!! Little House On The Prairie Meets JASON!...cue music. BLAMESHIFTERS! Coming soon to FOX! Errrr...I Don't Know About You, Butt...~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ATTENTION! People Of Earth ~*~ ~*~ The Dog & Pony Show, Warez Hell..... Say What You Will...An MD Success Story~*~ Semi-Quarterly Drive-By Blog Extremist Muslim Athiests Claim Responsibility For So Cal Fires... Pine Tarred & Corked, Crowding The Plate... Give Them Enough Rope And.... * Plate Spinning Monkeys Riding Tricycles...* Close Quarter Combat…I Was There* Memorial Day? My God's Better Than Your God.... Blogapalooza & The Flatulent Forums... Pilfering Yellow-Bellied Bushwankers.... Chain Saws, False Messiahs and Snake Oil Salesmen.... Butt Sniffing & Nazi Dudes.... Vicar in a Tutu...A Conversation with God.... My virtual world has crumbled, I'M LEAVING!!! Goodbye! One step away from roadkill, a squirrel's tale.... Forgiveness and Understanding