You appeared in my mailbox like any other faceless newbie. The difference being you said you'd posted pictures but they hadn't been approved yet, presumably because it was the weekend. You told me how you weren't only a newbie to online dating, but had only just decided to put a toe back into the water after quite a while.
I liked the tone of your emails, you were asking if I had any advice I could give you on internet dating and boy, had you come to the right place. So we mailed each other back and forth for a few days, I gave you tips which you thanked me for politely. My replies got longer and eventually you said you wanted to take the time to send me a worthy reply. You also told me that for some reason you were excited at the idea I would be able to see your pictures very soon. I didn't think too much about it, I felt I'd made a friend already and how you looked was immaterial.
That weekend I logged on and there you were, more handsome than I would ever have imagined. Even so I tried not to get too excited, I'd been down this road before, things and people aren't always what they seem. You seemed to have everything I was looking for though. Not that any of it would have been obvious from my profile, it was just each thing I learned about you struck a chord within me. I dared not think you were too good to be true because I didn't want to believe that. Why shouldn't I find someone who is my perfect match. I've never looked for perfection but my God, you were it, the right height, build, job, look, sense of humour, distance away.
I'd set out the 4 stages of internet dating I generally followed and you suggested we should move to stage 2 - Messenger. I can honestly say I've never chatted to anyone on messenger and enjoyed it as much as I did with you. Guys always seem to be in such a rush or they don't ask anything at all. I wanted so badly to take things slowly with you because you seemed special, so different to all the rest. I didn't ask, I didn't say a word, it was just like you knew. We just chatted away almost until the sun came up and at the end of it I was left thinking how I still had so much I wanted to ask and say. I didn't go to bed like a love-sick teenager, I went like a contented adult, looking forward to our next encounter which I had no doubt would happen, as planned. You had always been true to your word. You'd also not hesitated to say during our first chat that you thought we should meet and that you were happy to come to where I live. Again, this was a new one on me, even those not that far away wanted to meet half way.
You left me an email that night, which I didn't read until the morning telling me how much you'd enjoyed our chat and was looking forward to a repeat performance the next night. You were on extended sick leave and had said you'd hope to make good use of the time getting to know me. Signing into messenger that night seemed a bit of a problem, it turned out your ISP was playing up and sometimes you got no service at all but you made it in the end and we had another long, lazy chat into the early hours of the morning. Again, after saying goodnight I wished I'd asked certain questions and at least given you my number. "What's the rush?" I thought, we have all the time in the world. I was so confident we'd meet. I had no doubts about you whatsoever.
Again, the next day I pick up another email saying how much you'd enjoyed last night and how you were feeling a little better and were planning to go out for some milk and maybe treat yourself to a big bar of chocolate - it was Easter after all. Again, you said how you were looking forward to chatting again that night.
But you never showed.
You've not logged on to your account for almost 4 weeks now and my reply to your email remains unread.
What happened to you? Did you get really sick or did your ISP let you down? Did you have an accident at work? Please say you didn't get knocked down by a car on your way to buy the milk and the chocolate?
I find it hard to believe you met someone else in such a short space of time, if you did then you weren't being entirely truthful to me because you said you weren't interested in anyone else.
So I'm left thinking either you will turn up on line again in the not too distant future and the mystery will be solved, or I will never know.
To be honest, the not knowing is worse than the fact we never did arrange that coffee date and I never did get to find out if the chemistry we had on line would translate into real time.
I can accept that you and I weren't meant to be but the mystery of the disappearing man will probably stay with me for the rest of my life.
Angel has blogged....................... thanks for reading 
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read more blogs!
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JimNastics
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Apr 22 @ 11:10PM
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The wife found out about his account 
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cartay25
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Apr 23 @ 12:23AM
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I had the same thing happen. We chatted for a few days, talked on the phone for about a week and then it's like he disappeared. He hasn't answered his phone or email for a month now and all of his online accounts that I know of have been inactive. We even had plans for me to go to visit him at his expense.
It's the not knowing if they are okay or are did they just change their mind and start ignoring you makes it so hard.
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freefish533
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Apr 23 @ 12:40AM
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Thanks for the sharing the experience, sounds an alarm to me, I was hurt online too, when you trust the partner, dedicate to the him and the relationship seriously, there is 50 % failure possibility which will bring you hurt.
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freefish533
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Apr 23 @ 1:05AM
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cartay25, thank you too ! now I feel much better, from the last hurt and decide to totally to get rid of him from my mind, so I am not only the victim .
No expalnation, No formal goodbye, No good wishes to us, disappear quietly, I hate cruel man !
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WouldntItBeGr8To
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Apr 23 @ 1:58AM
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wow...that is a mystery.
It does expose some of the ups and downs of the internet.
One the one hand, it can be so easy to open up, share inner secrets, desires etc.
On the other it shows how easy it is to not commit and also how easy it is to hurt someone. There are real live people on the internet and I wonder if some people don't get that.
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HighlandsLass
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Apr 23 @ 3:16AM
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A friend of mine here states clearly on his account, 'If interested, I will tell you openly.' So I wasn't particularly surprised when he disappeared.
It's not personal. Clearly this behaviour isn't about me, or you-- but about the inability of these men to develop intimacy with a woman, no matter the reason. I am always surprised a grown, capable, intelligent man can't find his way from A to B to C on his own. How does that happen?
While I care, I realize it doesn't matter. I can easily let them go. Preferably sooner than later, you know? The one thing I'm certain of is I don't want what I don't want.
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ladykay488
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Apr 23 @ 8:20AM
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That is wrong in so many ways. We have to remember it is the internet and it happens to most of us here one time or another. Angel one thing about it is it's his loss! 
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Bionic_Angel
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Apr 23 @ 10:39AM
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I'd just like to add that although I've been hurt by men on line before, this guy hasn't hurt me. I'm accepting of the fact his ISP may have failed - I myself had little or no service for almost 6 months. I've had no tears, just a little disappointment the night he didn't show. I pretty much expected to hear from him a day or so later with an explanation. That's how much I felt this guy was on the level. There are things I've not shared in the blog - things that were said between us that lead me to this level of trust. I don't think he's a player, although it's hard to know. If he is, I'm not at all sure what he got out of our conversations, I've been played before, I know the difference. It's been suggested to me he may have had cold feet - This I'm willing to agree with. I know how I felt when I first came on line. I wanted to chat to guys but I was petrified when they suggested meeting. It's a big step to make when you've been on your own for a long time. I think the difference between men and women is that women will tell the guy that's how they feel "I'm happy to continue to chat on line but I'm not ready to meet yet". Perhaps a man would feel less than a man to admit that. I'm thinking he probably would. I bear this guy no ill feeling, I hope he finds what he's looking for, even if it's not me.
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KnittinKitten
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Apr 28 @ 9:49PM
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Angel, I have no words to say....you've just put into words something that I have already been through......After a year's worth of chats and phone calls...(he was thousands of miles away), he was going to travel to meet me. That was about three weeks before the scheduled visit....And, he disappeared......The thoughts and feelings I had, you have already written.
Several months passed.....and then, recently, a long string of emails and love letters arrived....He told me of his love for me......but, my love for him had died. And, sweetie, I think THAT saved my life. I had proven that I could go on.....Will it ever happen again....I KNOW I can love.....next time, I'd prefer it didn't have to die..... 
What more is there to say? If I could give away 2 kudos, I surely would.!
Fondly,
Knittin Kitten
PS. By the way, sweetie....thanks sooooo much for the wonderful shout out! It means a lot....I'll hold onto it and keep it in mind, when needed. 
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stephendedalus
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May 9 @ 5:35PM
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Disappearing is the online coward's way of saying goodbye. At least that's been my experience.
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