Over the eight years of being single I sometimes reflect on romances gone sour. I had a live in girlfriend some years back and one of the problems was when she moved in. OK I know that I kinda hoard stuff but many things were quite important and private. Sometimes I would find that she had gone through my personal paperwork and had never the decency to ask if it was OK to look in the first place. This appeared to be her "right" under the living conditions within the relationship.
If ever moved in with someone the last thing that I would do is pry into personal paperwork , one has to be honest here, would you go through your partners personal paperwork without consent .This has happened more than once and so it is not a one off by any manner of means.
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Children in the relationship, simply if your kid is uncontrollable and has no respect for their parent, do not expect the relationship to last. To people who say my kids come first, great then why are you looking for a partner if your kid comes first. I am certainly not going to work for twelve hours for your disrespectful "little love "of your life to come first. There are many kids out there who have been taught respect but they seem to be far and few as many adults fail to chastise their little angels nowadays.
And so it comes full circle, if the kids see the so called adults acting like spoilt children then they are going to act like miniture spoilt adults and no self respected person will be interested in a relationship with anyone who lets their kids act in this way, no matter what.
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hpylady1
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Apr 24 @ 12:40AM
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I understand where your coming from .. all are good points. During my marriage I never thought of that stuff but later when I had a short live in friend I ended up carrying everything in my purse BIG PURSE .. then there is another thing you can do .. leave a note .. about 2 pages down in your paper work DO NOT READ MY PAPERWORK .. IT'S NOT POLITE.. you could add your own personal touch to it... 
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Blueschic
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Apr 24 @ 12:53AM
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INXS......I think in that situation since you are both just living together then it should and would be appropriate to discuss expectations first. A groundwork for the relationship so to speak. It's better to communicate rather than to expect that someone feels the same way that you do. Your expectation of privacy may have not occured to her. Maybe she is an open book type and feels that others are too.
My boys are all very well mannered. But that's not to say that they aren't astute. They are. They are all capable of thinking for themselves and although are not disrespectful will give you their opinion if so inclined. That is my philosophy. As young men they give respect but expect respect in return. Very different from young children in a relationship. Personally I refuse to consider anyone who is still raising children. I chose to avoid drama that comes to easily when there are young kids and an ex wife still involved. I may be missing some wonderful men but that's a choice that I have made.
This is my time in my life and I'm looking for a relationship that can be complete with the bonding between man and woman...period.
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Redwicket
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Apr 24 @ 12:59AM
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Some people are just snoopy...I saw a show once where a camera was put in a lady's
bathroom (not pointed at the toilet) and then her friends came over...I was shocked,
they (all of them) opened everything and pulled things out, the lady was shocked and
she knew them.
After that I became well aware of what was where when Anyone came over...
But, to have someone you live with do something like that  I have known
women (there are probably guys that do it too) that went through their boyfriends wallets
and took out pictures and numbers  I don't like Anyone going through my purse,
I certainly wouldn't go through anyone's wallet, but then that's me.
Unfortunately you really have to think about save guarding your personal information
these days... I guess that's one of the best reasons to Really get to know someone
before playing house with them. 
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wandaful123
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Apr 24 @ 1:40AM
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one has to be honest here, would you go through your partners personal paperwork without consent Guilty... 
after 8 years I wouldn't think there'd be a whole lot of unknowns... Then again, I've never made it that far.
Perhaps that is the reason why... 
As far as other peoples kids... I'm just getting too old for that! Grandparent stage... Ain't life grand. 
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imlost2
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Apr 24 @ 2:57AM
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I agree with you totally, I was raised in a family of ten and my parents taught us that we didn't go thru or open each others mail, purses and wallets, all are off limits, and each other's bedrooms and personal effects are also off limits. With a family that big you must ask before wearing each others clothes or borrowing anything. It's just common decency to stay out of other peoples cupboards and drawers it doesn't matter how close you are, if it's not yours, stay out of it, is my motto. As far as children, they must also respect" All "adults, doesn't matter if they are related or not. They need to respect the home, furniture, car, yard, if they live there, help keep it clean and neat. They need to repect their parents time together but also the parents need to spend time with the children too, thats important, now a days ya might even have to have a schedule.
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aFriendlyBlogger
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Apr 24 @ 7:04AM
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I live in with my girlfriend, and she has a daughter . She is 10 years old. Even though, we all can be a Pain-in-the-arse ; we learn how to adjust.
There are times, I am at a lost when it comes to explaining to her daughter about her Attitude, or whatever . She would sometimes spurt out at me , " You're not my Dad ! You cannot tell me what to do ! "
Anyways, it's difficult at times . But we are now adjusting to the fact , I am not going anywhere . And, she needs to start Respecting adults .
I could go on and on . But no need to .
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LilMissGiggles
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Apr 24 @ 7:47AM
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would you go through your partners personal paperwork without consent
I would never ever consider this...if a partner wanted to show me personal stuff then that is for them to feel they want me to know about it...In 17 yrs with my ex I didnt ever go through his pockets, phone or wallet...for me it is just a No No I believe in total trust and expect the same.....if you havent got that then what have you got.
With regard to my children they have all be raised to show respect to all and everything from manners to peoples personal space....I always teach them to think about how they would feel if someone did the same to them....seems to have worked they are well educated, rounded and respectful children/adults that I am very proud of and never ever worry that they would be thought of as spoilt or disrespectful
So on that note  
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loreal
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Apr 24 @ 8:13AM
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INXS-
These are Great thoughts of true things that taint a relationship.
One thing I would never tolerate is a man that allows his kids to run the home, and one that isn't trustworthy...I also dislike immaturity...with that said...they go to curb during dating...!
I like balanced men! Men that Love and protect and are not immature and insecure.
And, I would never consider living with a man or even sleeping with him, if he has such flaws...!
To me, character is the flavor of the day!
Great Blog!
L 
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brunettee62
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Apr 24 @ 2:43PM
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Still...living with someone doesn't give them
the right to go thru ones personal stuff.
Maybe..try a locking file cabinet.
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wandaful123
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Apr 24 @ 3:00PM
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Well there you have it then... looks as though I am the one and only depraved individual in MD land...
Shucks... 
"So much to learn, so much to learn" she saunters away shaking her head "Oh, bother..."
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Angel1964
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Apr 24 @ 5:57PM
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I understand what you mean.. I never went into my ex husbands draws with out asking.. Even to put something away… I never looked in his wallet.. Once he started going though my purse. I was a bit upset, only because I never went though his stuff… I don’t care we were married.. Respect is and should be the same for everyone…
I was living with my ex b/f for a while.. He pretty much let his son do or say what ever he wanted.. He was 22 years old, but had problems.. Anyway, he would make me take turns sitting in the back seat, because his son didn’t think it was fare I always got to sit in front…Well that was it, I had to take turns. I also hated when I would say something joking around, and his son would say I’m going to punch you in the face… My ex knew I was kidding, I even asked if he thought what I said was bad.. He’d tell me no, when I tried to say that really isn’t very nice… and all of a sudden I was the one he was upset with… How dare I say something or anything about his son… I felt he had no right to threaten me with violence.. However, my ex didn’t think that way.. He would say he’d never do it… I would just think.. He better not!
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misschoos
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Apr 24 @ 6:09PM
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I wonder why she wanted to go through your personal papers?
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