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Cats and Rats and Snakes... Oh No!

posted 4/27/2008 11:46:08 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: humor, rodents, cats, snakes
  JackfromtheBox

I was under the house this morning, packing a few more items. I glanced down and a rat was crawling at my feet! Aaaaaaah! I was stunned.

It was stunned. Kat had tossed it in front of me. It was alive, but paralyzed enough for Kat to play with it. Cats do that. They learn from it. It is nothing short of torture. Kat also likes to bite the tails off of birds in other experiments. People who like to torture probably have past lives as some sort of carnivore. If you don’t like past lives, then just believe that these people’s energies are somehow connected more closely to carnivores.

I went upstairs to mess around the porch. Kat threw the rat at my feet again. Aaaaaaah! Scared me again. Maybe he wanted me to have it. Maybe he wanted to show off. I went inside and let him finish his dirty deed.

The only good rat is a dead rat. I just can’t show any sympathy for them. I used to work with laboratory rats. They squirm and scream and bite and piss and defecate whenever you try to handle them and stick needles through them (go figure?). Compared to mice, they are pure evil. Compared to ex-wives, they are pure angels. But I digress.

We’ve all lived past lives as rats as well. Oh, how well we remember the feeling of our neck breaking between the jaws of something overpowering, fast, and merciless. We mimic paralysis as we flashback to those rare, but powerful images. We scream at our husbands to remove whatever offends… immediately.

We’ve all lived past lives as overly-sensitive and demanding wives, too.

Oh… maybe not.

I’ve noticed that fear of rats is more prevalent in Caucasians than Orientals. [Oh God, here I am, generalizing again. I know someone will bite my head off, but I can’t help myself.] It probably has something to do with the plague in Europe that genetically selected for people with past lives that abhorred rats. This doesn’t mean that Orientals are lacking in anything. The prevalence of poisonous snakes in their world genetically selected for past lives that feared snakes more.

Fears seem to be additive, though. You can have as many as you want. You never know when one will save your ass. You never know when one will throw your life into endless misery. Mix and match. Lost or found.

I found what I was looking for in the house and headed outside again. It rained earlier and this was the perfect time for a perfect chore.

EEEEeeeeeeewwwwww!

I stepped on the dead rat’s entrails. Kat had left those and an upper torso in front of the door for me.

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The Incredibly Expanding World
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Cats and Rats and Snakes... Oh No!
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Comments:
loreal

Apr 27 @ 11:53AM  
Wow!
Kudo!
L
imlost2

Apr 27 @ 12:24PM  
You have a very responsible roommate there who hunts and brings home dinner, better than some I've known
Redwicket

Apr 27 @ 5:23PM  
They squirm and scream and bite and piss and defecate whenever you try to
handle them and stick needles through them

Well Geez, Wouldn't you too??? Didn't it bother you to cause them pain like that?

On the ranch whenever we left for a few days we always knew what would be found on
the porch when we got back....the cats though they Never Ate rats or brought them when
we were there, would cover (and I mean cover) the porch with Huge dead rats to show they
missed us. It wasn't because they were hungry, someone was always around to take care
of the animals when we were gone.
wandaful123

Apr 28 @ 12:38PM  
no comment...
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Cats and Rats and Snakes... Oh No!