Building a monster has become all the rave and has proven to be surprisingly simple. So simple that, like the do-it-yourself guides out there, this one won’t even need a new edition of “Monster Building for Dumbies”.
The first step is to get your hands on a child, the younger the better. Now you can obtain some pre-conditioned models easy enough, just check out your local computer game stores and look for the ones with the beady eyes, very pale skin, and seem to be impatient to get a game and go. Watch the kinds of games they are interested in; those that are prone to violence will be the ideal candidates. AVOID the ones that are interested in titles like “Barbie rescue” and similar fluffy editions. EDITORS NOTE: The other approach would be to find children that have been sheltered from the “real world” as we currently call it. Either those hidden on a compound with some religious basis or perhaps those that have been sheltered in a windowless basement for the majority of their lives. Just perfect!
Now, once you have obtained your subject, there are a few things you can do to build a better monster. Make sure they have NO contact with a parent or person of positive influence. Also, try to avoid allowing them to feel any sort of love, caring, or personal concern of any kind. Keep them devoid of any kind of positive social contact and never, never, never give them any kind of “gift” or positive reinforcement items that would even give the slightest indication of appreciation for their mere existence.
Lastly, give your group a catchy name that has some official sounding identify like “Child Protective Services” or “State Child Abuse Agency” (got to love the double meaning on that one!) so people like prosecutors and judges won’t figure out your real intent here.
And that’s it! Just toss it all together and let it run it’s course. You’ll be surprised at just how many mosters your can create! Now, granted you will be flooded with lots and lots of these little monsters so the next thing you need to do is create a purpose for them. Haven’t exactly worked that one out but I’m thinking this would be the ideal time to see if you could create a global purpose like chasing around the globe looking for all sorts of things. There are lots of things that are trendy and in demand; you know things like cheap gasoline (or any gasoline for that matter), inexpensive food, clothing, weapons of mass destruction (sorry, that one’s been done already), you know, just anything that could possibly be important to both the monsters and the non-monsters.
If you need a good example, take a look at the State of Texas right now. They’ve found a dandy way of skirting the law, stepping on individual rights and collecting lots and lots of great potential monster materials by just taking them away! What a novel idea, what you don’t have you simply steal and claim that you are doing “good”. Gee, we have a chief executive that knows something about that … isn’t he from Texas too?
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