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If I Could

posted 5/1/2008 5:07:30 PM |

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Makya

Sometimes I look at my children and wonder if I am being the best mother possible. I feel I can be a little more understanding, a lot more patient, and more agreeable. I often feel conflicted because I know the reason I get so many compliments on my childrens intelligence and behavior is because of the discipline I reinforce daily, at the same time I don't always want to be a disciplinarian. Sometimes I just want to play with them, Have fun with them, love them.

I try my best to walk a middle road between being too strict, and being a push over. I love my babies. The ones that are my biological as well as the niece and nephews I mother. I love them with all my heart. I know when I am fussing about chores, or chastising for inappropriate behavior that it may be hard for them to feel that I love them.

I know that they will probably not understand until they have their own children, that the reason I am so tough on them, is because I want them to be better than me. I want them to make better life decisions than me. By the time they hit my age, I want them to be further along their goal path than me. I don't want them to have to struggle like I did. I don't want them to face the heartaches I have. I want them to lead happier healthier lives. I want all of this for them because I love them. I would give my life for them.

Regina Belle
"If I Could"

If I could, I'd protect you
From the sadness in your eyes
Give you courage in
A world of compromise
Yes, I would

If I could, I would teach you
All the things I've never learned
And I'd help you cross
The bridges that I've burned
Yes, I would

If I could, I would try to
Shield your innocence from time
Lyrics courtesy Top40db.
But the part of life
I gave you isn't mine
I'll watch you grow
So I can let you go

If I could, I would help you
Make it through the hungry years
But I know that I can
Never cry your tears, babe
But I would, if I could

If I could, in a time and place
Where you don't wanna be
You don't have to walk
Along this road with me
My yesterday won't
Have to be your way

If I knew, I'd try to change
The world I brought you to
Now there isn't
Much more that I can do
But I would If I could

If I could, I would try to
Shield your innocence from time
But the part of life
I gave you isn't mine
I'll watch you grow
So I can let you go

If I could, I would help you
Make it through the hungry years
But I know that I can
Never cry your tears
But I would, if I could

Hey, if I could

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read more blogs!

Blogs by Makya:

I Don't Want To Rule The World

If I Could

Getting Back To My Old Self

No More Drama

Not Terribly Religous, But I Get Scared.

My first MD blog

Comments:

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misschoos	May 1 @ 5:13PM
	Hopefully they will thank you when they are old enough to understand. Mine have.

SunBabe	May 1 @ 5:26PM
	Mine, too...and when that happens, it leaves you with such a sense of "completeness", for a job well done. Then you know you're free to boogie just for YOU!

leprichaun_magic	May 1 @ 5:29PM
	..youre doing the Best you can Maky,, giving Love.....and Support ..most single mum s overcompensate , at times ... .It.s human nature:)

JimNastics	May 1 @ 7:20PM
	Good blog. Every parent goes through the same struggles. I'm sure you are doing fine, because you care to do well. K 2 U.

whatagal	May 1 @ 9:15PM


Redwicket	May 1 @ 10:01PM
	Just the fact that these thoughts come to you tells me that the children in your life are very lucky to have you...and they probably understand more than you think. It's a fact that children in a structured environment are more stable, intelligent, and sure of themselves. That structure that you provide makes them feel more loved and cared for...it's a fact!

mystery2u888	May 2 @ 12:49AM
	Wonderfully written.. .....thank you for sharing this.......I know they will understand when they get older... ...after all.......I am sure you understand what your parents did why, what and when .........now to this day........and I know my parents did things too.......I appreciate everything........ xoxoxo

Makya	May 2 @ 9:58AM
	I've thanked you all privately and now I thank you publicly. Simply because it lets me know I'm not crazy for feeling this way. Believe me, this input helps.

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