~*~ ~*~ Hey, Don't Read This Blog! ~*~ ~*~
Praise for PMF & Uhhh...Other Stuff:
Christian Science Monitor said:
COULD ANY FORCE ON EARTH STOP HIS SUPERNATURAL FURY?? Highlights For Children said:
Your mother will hate him and have a stroke, choking on her own vomit, but you’ll have a rousing good time connecting the dots. Church of Scientology/Freedom News said:
Put your jumpsuit on and launder those tennies. Prepare to embark, and grease up that bunghole, you're about to be probed. AARP/The Magazine said:
Two flabby bicep flaps! You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll misplace your dentures! Dr. Phil said:
Not since the day I watched a g-stringed circus midget riding a tricycle have I feared anything as much as this. The horror, the horror. Parents Magazine said:
Before reading PMF, lock your children in the basement with the dog, but please, feed the dog first, for Christ sakes ya bunch of stoopids! Psychology Today said:
We uhh, well, we're not sure. No comment Jenny Craig said:
Fluffy, the word is FLUFFY! Pol Pot said:
Cool, two severed heads up! The JDL said:
NAZI! Paula Abdul said:
I like the passion but I think you have to find the real y...what? Oh, nevermind. I loooooove YOU!
It’s the hope and goal of every professional writer to elicit emotions from their readers, good or bad. It matters not what category they fall in, as long as they bloody fall. What we dread more than anything in the entire world is hearing something like “That was completely forgettable” from our editors; it smacks of failure and that, my friends, is something no writer wants to hear.
My style of writing would fall into the guerrilla category and is reactionary; meaning it’s in your face like a nail-studded aluminum baseball bat and is always in response to behavior displayed, ie, the whole ~*~ thing, the whole Tiny Tales are subversive, and so on. Obviously, from all the bleating, it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok. I get my material from people's lack of common sense and incoherent rants. They forget that though and pray others will too; those rants and displays of ridiculous assumptions are always either deleted by mods or by themselves. I absolutely enjoy writing and to be honest, if some people weren't so bloody ignorant, I wouldn't write at all. This is all gratis and you should be grateful, no one is paying me. Hate me if you like, despise my very being, call for my gruesome death and attack my style; go ahead, it feeds me. The worst thing you could do as a reader is ignore me.
Who hates me? The very same people who open the door when a zombie is snacking on a neighbor, answer the phone a SECOND time, knock on the door of a house ringed with severed pig heads on sticks, run from maniacal killers into the woods screaming at the top of their lungs, swim in that mist-enshrouded lake that just happens to be the site of numerous grisly murders..mmmhmm, human fodder. They walk that ominous and foreboding path, completely clueless to life and they’re ALWAYS surprised when reality strikes and shoves a tent pole up their ass. I absolutely adore them. They’re the same people who think they’re due something. They’re people who aren’t interested in working for anything; for God’s sake, they believe it’s DUE them. Reality sucks for these people, they’d much rather sit on their asses and have things handed to them. It's gimme gimme gimme, you OWE ME. I'm OWED RESPECT. Uh, no you aren't; you earn it.
Like a murder of crows or a herd of snot-launching wildebeest, they gather in a lump of reeking body odor. When they're comfy and the perimeter is safe from the big bad monsters, THEY BECOME SOMEONE LIKE ME! They become what they despise, they do their very best to attack whatever has struck their fancy, but often resort to attacking not the source of their hatred, but those on the fringe. Did you have any idea of how many Clampetts there were? I didn’t; a couple of people who immediately took a fancy to squirrel meat shouldn’t be eating any meat at all for Christ sakes and really need to invest that money on shampoo, facial reconstruction and maybe an itty-bitty can of make-up, or a very large tub of Bondo. Seriously.
I'm just kidding, of course; they're all my pals, they amuse me. I wouldn't hook up with any of them, mind you; I'd wake up one morning in a bathtub filled with ice nuggets, my kidney gone, the cat would be shaved and smeared with Vasoline, my credit cards would be maxed out with charges of bananas, denture cream, hormonal therapy treatments and probably a charge or two for hair plugs.
Thank God I have Sci. I had a nightmare once, I was surrounded by a bunch of old beastly grandmas, dancing bananas and a lot of cellulite. Fkn frightening, I tell ya.
idjits.....
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
Blogs by PullMyFinger:
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| Little House On The Prairie Meets JASON!...cue music. |
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z_bach
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May 4 @ 8:23PM
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I am offended. I am deeply offended.
Is this the blog Misschoose paid you to write? I don't get it at all. I'm having a lot of trouble applying it to me. I really think she should get her money back.
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oceanlover734
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May 4 @ 8:23PM
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You are a mad mad man and so damn funny! You gave me laughter, thanks! Oh and here is one of those evil things  ~*~
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illusion790
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May 4 @ 8:29PM
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Good Night John Boy 
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fenderchick
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May 4 @ 8:32PM
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I loved reading Hightlights, my parents wouldn't get me a subscription when I was little so I read it at school. 
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Redwicket
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May 4 @ 8:37PM
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Uhhh...I got the Other Stuff...HA!  
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MsLani
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May 4 @ 8:42PM
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Who hates me? The very same people who open the door when a zombie is snacking on a neighbor I laughed , I cried  , I think I had an accident 
Good blog! a green smiley for you!
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misschoos
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May 4 @ 8:44PM
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Dear Z & PMF (and Sci in tow)
I paid a lot of money for this blog, and I thought it could be a lot more about me than it actually is.
I will take legal action to either gain a full refund of all monies paid or credit it to Z, because it's not about me as was promised at the time of sale.
I am feeling depressed tonight to be honest and don't need to be reminded beastly Grandmas.
I was at the supermarket on Tuesday though and they had one of those for sale, it was rather cheap, I wasn't sure if I should make the purchase at this time.
Have you seen the price of bread lately? But it's all cool, I don't eat sandwiches or drive my car.
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unionman154
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May 4 @ 8:46PM
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Unionman said :
Best Fing Blogger on MD.
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misschoos
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May 4 @ 8:48PM
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I am feeling depressed tonight to be honest and don't need to be reminded beastly Grandmas.
I am feeling depressed tonight to be honest and don't need to be reminded about beastly Grandmas.
I thought I should correct that, the Merlot is pretty good tonight.
And PLEASE don't try to blame the sale of the blog on the Merlot,
you were fully aware of this at the time of the contract. 
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ANGRY_MUPPET
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May 4 @ 8:49PM
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Good Night John Boy
...good night MaryEllen...
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mailorderannie
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May 4 @ 8:51PM
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bunch of old beastly grandmas, dancing bananas and a lot of cellulite.
Oh crap, I resemble that remark!
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sciurusniger
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May 4 @ 8:52PM
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Often imitated, never duplicated.
That's my guy.
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missliss78
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May 4 @ 9:47PM
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I know, I know!
dancing bananas and a lot of cellulite. It's all about ME, dammit!
Uh, what is Bondo?
~*~
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IrisRain
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May 4 @ 9:51PM
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if people weren't so bloody ignorant, I wouldn't write here
Thank you for the compliment….now, mind you I did not read the drivel you wrote but if you need a job, we have an opening for a Social Worker at my office. I can put in a good word
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PullMyFinger
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May 4 @ 10:10PM
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Bondo=Dent repair, helps hide the irregularities...thick paste, can be sanded, neat stuff.
now, mind you I did not read the drivel you wrote
 ....uhhh, what? 
You didn't read my drivel...but...but....You know what, you've been a state employee for a long time haven't cha?
adds new meaning to "close enough for government work"...
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whatagal
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May 4 @ 10:16PM
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Oh I wanna be a gorilla...I do a good imitation ...can I please, huh, oh PLEASE let me be a gorilla!!
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IrisRain
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May 4 @ 10:40PM
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You got it PMF, the chair in front of mine is open.....I think it comes with a year's supply of Xanax. I'm telling you, with your compassion and insight you'd go far!
 *once I pushed him down the stairwell he'd go far. 
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misschoos
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May 4 @ 11:07PM
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Uh, what is Bondo?
Bondo sounds exciting, well for me at least, over here,
over the murky pond, all on my lonesome.
Bondo sounds great in fact, what is it?
Bondo probably sucks, and I'm sure I would prefer peanut butter.
Where do you put the Bondo?
Bondo on toast? I haven't seen that in the supper thread.
Oh no, it's not in the supper thread, so what is it?
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kattsmeow
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May 4 @ 11:22PM
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Bondo looks a lot like that Tofu stuff. 
Groucho Marx:
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that.
Charlotte, "Charlotte's Web"
~*~
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missliss78
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May 4 @ 11:34PM
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Bondo=Dent repair, helps hide the irregularities...thick paste, can be sanded, neat stuff.
Well, hmmmm, I guess I could use that stuff on my cellulite, then, but as I say in my profile...."WYSIWYG"....so I wouldn't want to be accused of trying to "hide" anything!
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misschoos
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May 4 @ 11:35PM
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Bondo looks a lot like that Tofu stuff.
Bondo sounded so exciting.
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redtigr
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May 4 @ 11:51PM
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It's gimme gimme gimme, you OWE ME. I'm OWED RESPECT. Uh, no you aren't; you earn it.
It's those last three words that seem to cause the most trouble... Respect is not something one finds and then possesses. I must absolutely be earned.
Unionman said :
Best Fing Blogger on MD.
And this? This could be a battle cry according to some... And yet, they all know it. They're all gonna read this (and perhaps deny it) - and they're all gonna wish they could do this.
But like Sci said: often imitated, never duplicated...
and finally:
Did you have any idea of how many Clampetts there were?
Ellie Mae and Jethro done pro-created...
I gotta go polish my secret decoder ring...
~*~
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IrisRain
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May 5 @ 12:05AM
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I forgot to leave this next to the Kudo.... ~*~
I was too busy trying out bondo on that dent in my son's head. So, here's one more for the road.... ~*~
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misschoos
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May 5 @ 12:16AM
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Did you know that Z is in fact the best blogger here on MD?
They don't know about his blogs yet, all hell will break loose when they realise. 
Don' t be upset though, you can write, really, just keep repeating
'I can write really, I can write really, I can write really' at every opportunity
you have mate, it's good for your self esteem. 
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misschoos
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May 5 @ 12:16AM
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Did you know that Z is in fact the best blogger here on MD?
They don't know about his blogs yet, all hell will break loose when they realise.
Don' t be upset though, you can write, really, just keep repeating
'I can write really, I can write really, I can write really' at every opportunity
you have mate, it's good for your self esteem.
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misschoos
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May 5 @ 12:16AM
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oops sorry
nearly slipped on that about four thousand times, you know?
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redtigr
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May 5 @ 12:19AM
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I can re-write reality...
Does that count?
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 1:22AM
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I can re-write reality...
So can a lot of other people, have you been reading the RESPECT blogs?
Sorry....sorry...
BEST COMMENT OF THE DAY, BEST COMMENT OF THE MONTH.....BEST COMMENT OF THE YE......ehhh...fk it.
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needa
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May 5 @ 6:01AM
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~*~
you forgot the idjits that KNOW they shouldn't look through the blinds after they hear "the noise" on the roof when the vampires are swarming the house......now that ain't right................
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beckyiv42000
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May 5 @ 7:04AM
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I get my material from people's lack of common sense and incoherent rants.
WHEW !! I'm so glad my rants are coherent
My style of writing would fall into the guerrilla category and is reactionary; meaning it’s in your face like a nail-studded aluminum baseball bat and is always in response to behavior displayed, ie, the whole ~*~ thing, the whole Tiny Tales are subversive, and so on
Hey where do I sign up for this army of guerrillas?? would be ever so much fun to hide in the bushes and take pot shots at the mindless herd wait um i think I have that mastered eh?? so um can I be a general in yer guerrilla army there PMFers??? huh ?? pretty please?? I'll bring my own ammunition 
hey I already have my own troops too .. they are so subversive and sneaky you would NEVER suspect them of being guerrillas huh??
<(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)>
<(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)>
<(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)>
<(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)> <(*v*)>
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theblessedone
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May 5 @ 7:23AM
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~*~
Imagine the confusion the zombie might experience if you were to open the door and distract him, whilst your best pal Bondo'd the munched-on neighbor, restoring him/her to full body specifications. When the zombie returned to the snack-fest, he would find...voila'!!...an intact snack!
Of course, that would only happen if the zombie was capable of being confused, but he's too busy...being a zombie!
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fenderchick
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May 5 @ 9:15AM
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I had to come back and give you a kudo because I had none left yesterday.
I laughed alot at this blog again, I don't know if that's evil, but maybe I am
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EternalFlame
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May 5 @ 10:28AM
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The "Respect" blog? You mean the one that says to respect EVERYBODY but the bashes a bunch of people in the comments with stuff like Popularity means so much to them, that they don't care who they step on to gain it..Truely sad..
SO respectful of others, wouldn't you say? NOT!
Or this exchange here:
people who cant wait to tear someones blog apart have no life. There small people trying to look big So very true my friend..A lot of that going on on here..Makes them feel big I guess.. What it does it let people see them for who they truely are..
It sort of negates everything that comes before it, doesn't it?
Cartay had the best comment on that blog. It said
Kindness begets kindness
I agree.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:42AM
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Thank you all for your comments, I'd like to take some time to answer all of you, so if you'll excuse me, I better get busy.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:43AM
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Z bach
BEST COMMENT OF THE DAY, BEST OF THE MONTH, BEST OF THE YEAR!
I'd like to say this though, "Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaah blah.
Blah blah...
Blah.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:46AM
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Ocean
BEST COMMENT OF THE DAY, BEST OF THE MONTH, BEST OF THE YEAR!
I'd like to say this though about the ~*~, "Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaah blah.
Blah blah...
Blah.....oh, and blah. Blah blah?
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:48AM
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Illusion
OMG! Hardy HAR HAR.....I LOVE YOU!
But honestly, it really comes down to blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah de da blah blah, blah blah blah!
Blah blah blah blah blah.....blah? Oh dear god, blah blah blah.
Blah!
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:50AM
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Fender
BEST COMMENT OF THE DAY, BEST OF THE MONTH, BEST OF THE YEAR!
Blah....But in retrospect, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!.....For BLAH sakes, I wish people would understand that blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah.....blah blah?
Of course, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah!
Blah blah, blah, blah, blah.....
Blah blah.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:52AM
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Redwicket
Oh blah blah blah. Blah blahdeda blahbaba. Secondly, blah blahdebodeda....blah blah!
blah
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:55AM
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MsLani[B]
HO HO HO HAR HAR, boy did that really blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
Woo hoo, I'm blahed, too fkn blah blah blah blah blah.....blah.
BEST COMMENT OF THE DAY, THE MONTH, THE YEAR...two blahs up....blah blah blah.
Blah..blah blah blah?
Blah.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:56AM
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MissChoos
Blah....so blah, but blah blah blah blah.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:57AM
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Union
BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! BLAH! Blah blookityblah blah? BLAH BLAH BLAH!
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:59AM
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Muppet
Uhhhh...blah blah.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:00AM
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Annie
Uh oh....blahdidiblahblahboodablah.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:02AM
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Sci
boomdidiboomdidiboomblahsmooooothblah...
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:03AM
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Miss
sigh, blah blah blah, blahdidium blahsidy blah blah....
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:05AM
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Iris
Blah blah blah blah, so actually, blah blah blah blah blah....blah blah?
blahdunk.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:07AM
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Whata
Blahroar....blah blah blah.
Blah?
Blah blah.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:09AM
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Katt
Blahickyblah blah.....patooieblah.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:11AM
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Red
Boomchikaboomchickaboomchickablahblahblahblah....
Don't tell blah blah blah...
nyuknyukblah
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:12AM
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Needa
Oh believe me, I don't blah blah blah blah blah, blahgogoblah, blahsnickybodoblah?
Blah.
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:14AM
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Becks
sigh, boomduckaduckaboomduckaduckaboomblah....
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:17AM
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Blessed
Blah blah blah, blahdookieblahdookieblahturdblah..
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 11:18AM
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EF
I'm kinda blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blahdunkdiblah...who the fk blah blah blahoookieblah?
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misschoos
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May 5 @ 11:25AM
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Blah blah blah, yadda yadda, mahvelhous dahlink.
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fenderchick
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May 5 @ 11:45AM
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Blah da ba Blah da biddy bang Blah- It means I'm hungry because it's lunchtime 
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unionman154
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May 5 @ 11:49AM
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PMF I am not worthy of such Blah blah blahs from the King of blah blah land. 
JMHBlah blahs.
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wandaful123
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May 5 @ 12:04PM
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no comment
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 12:13PM
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Then no blah for you...
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American_Woman
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May 5 @ 12:55PM
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Does Sci ever have to cover you up before the squirrels see you?
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Sweetheart83446
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May 5 @ 11:45PM
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You can get a lot more "blahs" out if you do it like this...
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Sweetheart83446
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May 5 @ 11:46PM
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blah, but blah blah blah blah...
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Sweetheart83446
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May 5 @ 11:46PM
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blah, but blah blah blah blah...
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Sweetheart83446
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May 5 @ 11:46PM
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blah, but blah blah blah blah...
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Sweetheart83446
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May 5 @ 11:46PM
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blah, but blah blah blah blah...
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Sweetheart83446
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May 5 @ 11:46PM
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blah, but blah blah blah blah...
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Sweetheart83446
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May 5 @ 11:46PM
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blah, but blah blah blah blah...
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Sweetheart83446
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May 5 @ 11:48PM
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I'll be back tomorrow to do some more. Untill then,
blah, but blah blah blah blah.
"I didn't read the blog. I might later. I just saw all the blahs you posted and it looked fun. Sorry."
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EternalFlame
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May 6 @ 12:00AM
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blah?
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mystery2u888
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May 6 @ 12:02AM
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ya left me speechless..........
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mystery2u888
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May 6 @ 12:05AM
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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mystery2u888
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May 6 @ 12:07AM
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~*~
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Sweetheart83446
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May 6 @ 12:07AM
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ET said
blah?
I don't like the tone she was using when she typed that, you should delete that comment...oh, and sorry for flooding your mailbox.
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EternalFlame
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May 6 @ 12:15AM
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Tone? I didn't have a TONE. Don't you take that tone with ME young lady!
Don't make me stop this car!
Wait...sorry...I thought you were my daughter for a moment...
It's good to see you, Miss Anon.
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Sweetheart83446
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May 9 @ 11:57AM
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