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~*~ ~*~ Seriously, it can't be helped ~*~ ~*~
Have you been deleted from an Internet friend’s list, email threads or knitting circles by bands of roving bingo ruffians over your association with certain people?
Have you received hateful emails and phone calls from people who cry foul when you agree with certain peoples viewpoints?
Have you been ignored by friends (sic) when you dare to venture into that unknown realm of common sense?
Have you been bothered by little people like yard gnomes, circus midgets, cranky leprechauns or Easter Bunnies claiming conspiracies?
Has Norma Desmond & Her Band of Paul Hogan look-alikes ruined your day with rants and accusations of traitorous behavior?
Have you been the object of jealousy and envy over your relationships by people who are too old to remember what it was like to have someone respect their SELVES, rather than their no-no place in regards to cheap sexual amusement?
Have you been subjected to barnyard psychologists to the point of ralphing your lunch up and discovering your spleen has left the building?
THEN WORRY NO MORE! Yes friends, a revolutionary new product from those people you know and love, those knuckleheaded Australians, has entered the market and is now available here in the good ol’ US of A!.
Thuuuuuuuaaaaaat’s right, now you too can rid yourself of annoying Internet gnats, that buzzing cacophony of biting insects that never cease to gnaw on the ball-sacks of humanity.
One application is all it takes to bid adieu to that incessant annoyance and say HELLO to a peaceful existence, you heard me right, ONE APPLICATION! Not two, not three but ONE application is all it takes to wash that goo right out of your hair, if you have any.
This amazing product is shipped directly to you in a ~*~ lined box, perfect for re-gifting or for storing those annoying boogereating communiqués, completely allergenic and GREEN, that’s right GREEN! So when you’re traveling around in your 1977 Ford Pinto Combustible and this little puppy falls out, NOT TO WORRY PUMPKIN, it’s BIODGRADABLE!
If you call before 9PM Eastern Time, we’ll not only include this phenomenal product, we’ll include an autographed picture of PMF, thuuuuuuuuat’s right, an autographed picture of PMF. (Certificate of Authenticity Included). WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHY SLAP MY ASS WITH A HAIRLESS CAT, DID YOU SAY AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF PMF? Thuuuuuaaaat's right muttonhead, you can frame it and astound your friends, place it above your bed , above the loo, scare those nettlesome cats away from your flowerbed, or use it to line the parakeet cage, piss off your neighbors, give old people aneurysms, it doesn’t matter because…..
IT'S YOUR’S FREEEEEEEEEEEE!, BACK THAT GREASY HAIRDOO UP SPARKY! YOU HEARD ME, IT'S FREE!
Be one of the first 50 callers and we’ll not only ship the ButtinskiBeGone and your autographed picture of that ruggedly handsome and eerily intelligent PMF, but we’ll also include with your order a licensed original, shyeah, you heard me right, a licensed original copy of PMF’s very own freshly baptized Monday morning omgthatlookslikeasubmarine, fresh from the Standard Tri-Oval, complete with indigestible happy happy goody goodies (Broach Pin Included),….Can you believe it? Be the first on the block to own one of these gems, don’t be left a’wishin, own one NOW!
Disclaimer: In no event shall ButtinskiBeGone whose parent company is “Idjit’s Guide To Stoopid” be liable for any special, consequential, punitive or incidental damages resulting from the use of the product provided herein, whether based on contract, tort, bagels, glazed donuts, feminine napkins with wings, strict liability or otherwise. Do not use near open flame, product will not help you fly, large semi-trucks over 10 tons are excluded, product may combust during shipment, children under the age of 18 will die a horrible gut-wrenching death by melting with this products use, apply only to infected areas, product known to cause skin irritations when applied with soiled diapers, my mother hates me, but she’s dead, no animals were harmed in this products discovery, only humans, product smells bad, ribbed for her displeasure and yours, any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, most of the time, guaranteed to piss off stoopid people, not responsible for idjits stepping on pot-pots and the bottom falling out of the painted toilet seat market in obscure Mexican border towns, be kind, rewind, product is not hair-plug friendly, product will not amazingly improve life to the point where people will actually respect you, use will not automatically inject common sense into bleating wildebeest herds, use is second only to abstinence, blame for this blog belongs to Blkfoot1954 and no one else, she begged me to.
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
Blogs by PullMyFinger:
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| ButtinskiBeGone, A Revolutionary New Product, Available NOW!!!! |
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misschoos
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May 5 @ 7:36PM
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I've given you my last kudo now and I was saving it for a better blog than this. 
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LaughTillYaPuke
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May 5 @ 7:41PM
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^^^^^^ 
I love that girl!
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kattsmeow
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May 5 @ 7:50PM
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I have no kudo's because of other people taking them from me.^^
So, blame them ok? It is all their fault, not mine!
Um, should I write the check for 19.95 then??
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kattsmeow
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May 5 @ 7:53PM
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Oh shoot,,,,,( no not me)
~*~*~ Heres your "wings"
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z_bach
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May 5 @ 7:56PM
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WHY SLAP MY ASS WITH A HAIRLESS CAT
See that!!! PMF is targeting me with a blog. Everyone on MD knows that all "ass" references here are about me! I ain't standing in line to claim this one.
Just you wait until I do my retaliatory...retailitorry...my revenge blog. And just wait until I figure out how to use spell check.
Shake in fear PMF. I'm going to get you. heh heh heh. Yeah, that's my evil laugh because I can't spell muahahahah
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Tunes4u
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May 5 @ 8:15PM
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I'll make a damn comment when I can come bac and actually see the keyboard....
Oh f*ck Oh dear...
Breathe Tunes BREATHE!
~*~
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theblessedone
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May 5 @ 8:15PM
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Now wait just a blessed minute. The photograph is autographed with "PMF"...
I thought you were PM D F!!
Make up your freakin' mind, so that I know to whom I'm addressing the delivery of those 1000 (oops...999) loose squirrel turds. ~*~
*stamps off petulantly, while (almost) kicking the hairless cat*
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LaughTillYaPuke
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May 5 @ 8:27PM
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WHY SLAP MY ASS WITH A HAIRLESS CAT
See that!!! PMF is targeting me with a blog. Everyone on MD knows that all "ass" references here are about me! I ain't standing in line to claim this one.
Ohhhh! Quite your flippin' whining!!!  Look what he said about ME!!!
Have you been subjected to barnyard psychologists to the point of ralphing your lunch up
And I don't have any freaking kudo's left. So you can kiss my ass if you want too. Or just kiss Z_Bach and be done with it. Whatever. I'm good. 
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fenderchick
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May 5 @ 8:30PM
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My mom 
What can I say, she's a genius like me. 
I almost peed my pants at the hairless cat thing. Loved it, thank you for the gut busting laughter. 
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luvshorses644
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May 5 @ 8:37PM
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*Should know better* than to come to read the PMF blog with something to drink.. gosh darn it, golly gee willikers, shucks and all... (sorry folks, I got my hands slapped for the vulgarity I use.. such is life).
First I read Tunes blog and was all teary eyed over the beauty of that one and then I come here and spew my drink and again I have those tears in my eyes..
Gosh darn it to Hades.. I am giving you my kudo and a few of the winged things...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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bandtmom
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May 5 @ 8:39PM
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I'll take two even though I saw no reference to mothers. 
~*~
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equuisdancer
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May 5 @ 8:42PM
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all I can manage!
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missliss78
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May 5 @ 8:49PM
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~*~
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unionman154
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May 5 @ 8:51PM
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Even my evil twin thinks, this is the best blog, ever posted here.
He says two horns up.
Thanks for the gut splitting laughter. 
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teddybearagain
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May 5 @ 8:53PM
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I heard about this blog, .. had to come check it out fer myself' ..
I'm leaving one of the precious ~*~ behind, Please share it with
Sci. She deserves it for traveling life's journey with such a
comedian. 
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maggiemae684
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May 5 @ 8:54PM
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" WHY SLAP MY ASS WITH A HAIRLESS CAT"
You... got my... last kudo...
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sciurusniger
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May 5 @ 9:05PM
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If you order now, we'll throw in the pocket-sized, travel version of ButtinskiBeGone! Perfect for when you're online with a mobile device!
But hurry, this special offer is good only until midnight!
(...pssst...blessedone, hurry up and send those squirrel turds; we're running out of packing material....)
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oceanlover734
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May 5 @ 9:11PM
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Now that was frigging funny as all get out. I want my copy damn it of whatever after reading and laughing so hard I deserve one. I've cried from emotions and now from so much laughter today. This is a great way to end the night. I know I probably shouldn't read anymore as I'm sure someone will get all .
~*~
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wandaful123
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May 5 @ 9:16PM
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a licensed original copy
I got a real good deal on one of those one time... I'm having a heck of a time turning it over though... Guess some folks just don't appreciate the real thing?
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keeno
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May 5 @ 9:20PM
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hey what the h*ll is going on?
my decoder ring didn't work on this message either.
please stick to the assigned code for the day, will ya?
sci, all my mobile devices have been rendered useless by my now more effective tinfoil hat.
thank you both for trying to communicate with me... 
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blkfoot1954
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May 5 @ 9:26PM
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Well now,since it is all my fault that you wrote this I should receive my buttskibegone and my picture of you for nothing.I am so glad that I inspired such a blog.I never knew I had such talent as this.
WHY SLAP MY ASS WITH A HAIRLESS CAT I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes..
You better hope that Tunes has caught his breath or you will have to perform CPR on that man.
Sci..I really need to give you another kudo ,Just for living with this man.How do you do it...
*~* *~* *~*.........
Hugsssssssssss and thanks for the great laugh before work...
Love you guys 
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lazareth
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May 5 @ 9:40PM
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no no no to all the above
I'm such a f'kin loser
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IrisRain
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May 5 @ 10:18PM
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never cease to gnaw on the ball-sacks of humanity
What a sexist comment!
~*~ You ain't right that's all I can say..... you just ain't right.....
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:31PM
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Ya know what bugs the holy shit outta me? The comments I receive are usually 10 times fkn funnier than the god damn blog?
Assholes.....
And they say I'm not right....ya bunch of whackjobs...
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jentoblues101
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May 5 @ 10:34PM
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Have you been subjected to barnyard psychologists to the point of ralphing your lunch up and discovering your spleen has left the building?
I KNOW this comment was referring to me!
How dare you? Now I'll have to write a pouty, spurious blog about you, thinly veiling your identity just enough so that those who read (and write) spurious blogs will know who I'm talking about, yet stay just on this side of the blog rules....
God, I think this is the cattiest comment I've ever left, before know, someone will be buying some buttinskybegone in an attempt to rid blogland of me.
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TallBlonde1
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May 5 @ 10:43PM
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I have this vision of people at a party, all wearing sparkley PMF turds on pins on their collars or on their sweaters... everyone admiring the other person's turd....is his bigger, is her's smaller, whose has more chunks....
~*~
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EternalFlame
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May 5 @ 10:55PM
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Cheap sexual amusement? Cheap sexual amusement??? Well, I never! How dare you!??!!!?! That blow up doll I sent was NOT cheap!!! That was the genuine Norma Desmond model, just like you asked!
Geez! The NERVE of some people.
product will not help you fly
Will this?
~*~
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PullMyFinger
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May 5 @ 10:55PM
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Den-Den said:
I KNOW this comment was referring to me!
I see a problem from the get-go here. WE KNOW YOU'RE SCHOOLED IN PSYCHOLOGY, WE KNOW YOU'RE ACTUALLY PRACTICING IN THE FIELD OF COUNSELING AND WE AREN'T RELYING ON SOMEONE JUST SAYING....
Why yes, my field of psychologicle....physho.....I mean my field of studing.....studeing.....stud....I swear, I know stuff......
for fks sake.....and I'm a fkn astronaut...
god damn secretaries...and if they are, they slept with the instructor to pass the course
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IrisRain
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May 5 @ 11:06PM
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Just gets funnier each time I read it!
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redtigr
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May 5 @ 11:12PM
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Have you been bothered by little people like yard gnomes, circus midgets, cranky leprechauns or Easter Bunnies claiming conspiracies?
Whadya mean? [/l]
These guys are all on my friends list!! I like them, for cripes sake... and they never, ever bother me.
Compared to the preachy, self-righteous, knee-jerk, condescending and highly paranoid bloggers and bloggees - I'll take my cranky Easter Bunny and friends any day.
And you are so right. The comments are absolutely inspired...
EF: Brilliant
JenJen - Deep and scathingly droll...
Z and Pookie... yer all a riot!!
[I]Thank you everyone... I had a rough day and y'all have made it go away.
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mystery2u888
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May 5 @ 11:39PM
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PMF............. This is so hilarious..........I love it............and I almost missed it.........
~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~
  xoxo
You made my night......thank you so very much...
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mystery2u888
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May 6 @ 1:54AM
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PMF.........I can't seem to look away from this one...........  I don't know why......... it's really interesting..maybe it's cuz it's super cute.......and you can't stop laughing
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theblessedone
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May 6 @ 7:07AM
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(...pssst...blessedone, hurry up and send those squirrel turds; we're running out of packing material....)
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
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~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
*grabs shelled walnuts and heads to the hemlock tree at the park, hoping the bushy-tailed denizens will offer up some more turds...er, packing materials*
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daisy315
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May 6 @ 8:24AM
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Okey dokey.. I read this last night was too brain dead to comment.. too early in the morning now to leave a witty, thought provoking one too.. so.. as I head out the door to buy a pack of smokes.. I just wanted to let you know that everyone that sees this large orange Sunkist stain down the front of my shirt... well dear sir.. it's all your damn fault..I will tell them so..
send me a dozen of the product.. and don't forget the damned autographed photo.. (a dozen of those too Sir).. I can sell those on EBay and make a fortune..
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atropos319
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May 6 @ 8:55AM
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thats it im leaveing . peeps r so mean hear
loosers!!!!!!
-sparky
~*~
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American_Woman
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May 6 @ 10:23AM
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Thanks alot...kool-aid does NOT feel good coming out of the nose 
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unionman154
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May 6 @ 6:08PM
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I would like to hand out my first award ever, here at MD
For his superior evil humor, and reactionary, writing skills.
Along with his newly, discovered wonder product. (which I endorse freely the cheap SOB)
The three sharp pronged, stab in the ass, award to PMF
Congrats PMF. See you in writers hell. The
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RainSongSpirit
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May 6 @ 6:17PM
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dayum this was awesome
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katydid438
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May 7 @ 4:50PM
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WHY SLAP MY ASS WITH A HAIRLESS CAT,
"no-no place " If these two expressions don't make people lighten up,,,well
~*~
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Redwicket
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May 7 @ 5:59PM
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HA! I don't know how I missed this one...Hmmm, reminds me of Yak Dookie 
Most Excellent and Most Fun!!! KUDOS
Have you received hateful emails and phone calls from people who cry foul
when you agree with certain peoples viewpoints?
YES, I Have had this happen to Me...Shoot me a Can of that there stuff...PLEASE!
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beckyiv42000
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May 7 @ 7:32PM
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PATENT INFRINGMENT!!!!!!!!!!! Im suing!!!!!! I had marketed ASSWIPE BE GONE years ago... you stole my idea!!! cept mine prolly didnt work as well as your product and was way overpriced (overhead yanno) and well the little guys that came out of the can and had to be watered to grow big enough to enforce the ASSWIPE BE GONE kinda stayed in your house afterwards... and ate ya outta house n home um nevermind Um PMF can ya send me a couple cans I need these guys outta here soon!!
<(*v*)>
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PullMyFinger
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May 7 @ 7:44PM
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sigh
Some people didn't like this blog, they said it was disrespectful to idjits, cheap two-bit whores, old cranky people, people in need of hair washing, the Travelocity Gnome and Paul Hogan....they complained.
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z_bach
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May 7 @ 8:38PM
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^^^
That is why I am so insulted by this blog. I fall into 5 out of the 6 catagories listed above. Man I am insulted. As soon as I get a life I am going to post a rebuttal. Just watch yourself.
Oh, yeah, is this the way to the blog war? I'm trying to find it and not having much luck...
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wandaful123
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May 7 @ 11:04PM
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Your just pissed 'cause you didn't get the M&M's...
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PullMyFinger
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May 7 @ 11:15PM
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true.....and I'm a little peeved I'm never in the position to capture on film that thing she does, that sideways upper body twist scissor Matrix kick she unleashes on me when I'm within 5 meters of the "stash"...
It's just not fair...
Z, the blog war is ======> way, poor zipperheaded windowlickers apparently ran out of steam and decided to feast on each other...
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Sweetheart83446
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May 7 @ 11:15PM
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wandaful123
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May 7 @ 11:23PM
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sideways upper body twist scissor Matrix kick
I'm willing to bet she's got a "look" which is just as effective.
And... I'm also willing to bet you often deserve it!
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PullMyFinger
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May 7 @ 11:36PM
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Well....no argument
But I'm tired of being treated like a piece of manmeat, I'm not just some trophy husband ya know...I deserve something other than soy flavored booger nuggets or whateverthehell those things are.
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misschoos
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May 8 @ 2:35AM
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 C'est arrive Monsieur. C'est arrive.
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jentoblues101
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May 8 @ 6:46AM
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I'm not just some trophy husband ya know
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. You two up and got married. Ain't I smart?
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EternalFlame
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May 8 @ 9:32AM
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^^^
Thus begins another MD rumour
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Sweetheart83446
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May 9 @ 11:57AM
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EternalFlame
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May 9 @ 8:29PM
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I have discovered the suckiness of running out of emails. So of course I rushed right in to join Gold...I've been meaning to give it a try anyway, right? So I put all the information in and...
It doesn't work  "Please check the information and try again"
So I did...FOUR FCKIN TIMES...I even went to my bank to make sure I was using the right phone number. Nothing.
So now I'm reduced to leaving blog comments for communication. And that is the definition of SUCKINESS.
So to my friends who may read this...I'm not ignoring you. I can't answer you. If you're on myspace, log on...if you're not, fire up your email. It's either that, or we're gonna have us a little blog party. You decide.
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loisday
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May 11 @ 4:16PM
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This is it!!! I can NEVER read any of your blogs again......
At my age.............I pee my pants a little when I laugh this hard........
TFF!
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