Enough Already posted 5/13/2008 4:56:04 PM | 9 kudos what's this?     report abuse

LaughTillYaPuke

There are a multitude of reasons my mother didn’t like me. I believe, (and let’s be honest here, these ramblings are nothing more or less than my view on my world.) that I was the second step in hooking “this man” for life. The fact that he went and got himself clipped was certainly not part of the bargain. So she was stuck with ME being the last gold nugget out of her womb. To say that she was disappointed would be putting it lightly. And in some ways, I can see the woman’s point of view.

Once I hit the ripe old age of 5, you could not make me cry. I was that alien creature that could not be bent. No punishment on earth could actually hurt me. In fact, my ass was tougher than a ship full of Marines. I was also smart enough to have that wonderful thought process that every Eddie Haskell has….'Is the punishment going to be worth the crime?' I can honestly say that there has only been two times in my life that the punishment would not have been worth it, and I did manage to refrain from starting the barn on fire. Twice.

My belief systems were stronger than any Jehovah's Witness's come knocking on your door. For such a little, tiny, soft-hearted thing, I had an inner fire that frightened just about anyone found stuck with me for more than an hour or two. And as one of my brothers once told me through gritted teeth, “I’m not Jesus Christ, I can’t walk On WATER!” Bullshit. He was perfect in every way and there was no way you could have swayed my mind.

I imbibed everyone and everything that I loved with super powers. The barn loved me, the tree would protect me, and the grandfather stones waited patiently for me. I surrounded myself with glorious beauty, even if I was the only one who found these things stunning. I had a temper that would have put Satan to shame and could become violent when something I loved was threatened or harmed.

So here was my mother, a woman was used to getting her way. Used to? Let’s just say that I think I got my tenaciousness from her. She could out argue, out last, out hate and out bitch anyone I have ever met. She was and is the Queen of the biting scathing remark and could cut a man’s penis off in tiny precise pieces, laying them out like sliced cheese waiting for a cracker. There was a rumor when I was little that my parents never had sex after I was conceived. I actually had the guts to ask dad about that when I was 12 years old. (we were discussing my period, therefore everyone’s private parts were up for discussion as far as I was concerned.) To hear daddy tell it, that was a lie. They had sex at least 3 other times after that.

I have now introduced you to my early childhood. But this blog is to stop what I have begun. Enough is enough. You either get it or you don't. I have found that the writing of those stories brings me no peace. So in order to finish showing you what molded me as a child, I will resort to re-posts. I have looked at a few of those early stories that I have posted here, and to say they are rough drafts are putting it mildly. It was my first foray in exposing myself to strangers, and have since found that there is an art to taking off your soul clothes in front of others. A sensualness and gracefulness that my early blogs lacked.

But, they are real. And true. So they will get posted as they landed months ago. Some, such as "Daddy's Girl" lack a great deal of information. However, with the word constraints on this site, I cannot forgo the most important part of that blog, the song. So if you can't pick up the general mood, then I sure the hell can't help you any more.

And for those of you raising your many questions about my father and the things he allowed, I can only say this....

Perhaps he decided that it would be best if he put his oxygen mask on first so that he could get my sister and I out alive. That maybe when you come crawling out of the wreckage, you want to have gone through it with a purpose.

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Blogs by LaughTillYaPuke: Elusive Thief House of Cards Gypsy Queen The Gum Tree The Age of Reason Felonies and other Petty Crimes What are You Looking for Rattling the Bones Spit In the Eye of the Devil The Best Damn Wayside EVER Coming into My Own Daddy's Girl Enough Already Trees Around My Heart The Mother Tree Colors The Most Beautiful Place on Earth Mother Barn In The Beginning TESTIFY!!! She's a Real Mother Alright..... Sharp Dead Toe Nails Melee Come to Life The Game....Part III