This might be a touchy subject to talk about on a dating website. If I had to guess then I would guess that most people on here have been divorced at least one time in their lives. Then you factor in that I have never been married so take this blog with a grain of salt.
Ok, marriage, why are people not good at it anymore? Most of our parents(for those of us who are 40ish and beyond) managed to stay married their whole lives, so why are people struggling with it now?
First off lets bring up love. Love clearly does not have the same meaning for people today as it did back in the 50's. Back in the 50's love was almost never jeopardized by career ambitions. Love back in the 50's kept the eyes from wandering towards other people. Today people say what harm is there to look as long as you don't touch? Well if you look at others then you desire others and usually it is only a matter of time before you seek others. Plus, for you to look at others is an insult to your partner. And not to knock on women but they do dress a lot sexier today which makes it much harder for married guys not to look or compare them to what they have. Then you have women who are becoming like men in the way they see the opposite sex as sex symbols. I would have to believe that if you were truely in love then no eyes would be roaming period.
Couples did not cheat on each other as much as they do today. This is because sex was private back then compared to today when we have sex everywhere. Sex is in movies, tv, the internet, music, magazines, everywhere. Women dress a lot more sexy today then back in the 50's which helps married men want the greener grass on the other side of the fence.
Marriage has no commitment anymore, for the most part. It is so easy to just walk away from it now. When couples get married do they really understand what they are actually doing? From that day forward that person will be with you everyday of your life. Almost everything you do will be with that person. 60-80 years, everyday that person is there. That person is always on your mind. That person will be the only person you will ever have sex with for the rest of your life. That person must be able to rely on you, always. Then there is the thing that a lot of couples find hard to do and that is compromise on things. Most of us are stubborn now and we hate to give in, but marriage is give and take. Most of us are great at taking but how many of us are good at giving(and I am not talking about gifts)?
But the main reason I think that marriage is failing is because people don't understand why we are suppose to get married. Marriage was created so that couples who were individuals would become as one in the eyes of God. This is why religious figures perform marriage ceremonies. A lot of people today do not get married with this in mind. And in some cases marriage ceremonies have become like jokes; ie Las Vegas. Almost like the thing to do. Now some people are getting married by city officials, Elvis impersonators and other non religious figures. Like with everything else, we are pushing God out of our lives and then wonder why we are failing at these things. To top this off, marriage has become like a business contract. Why in the world would 2 people who are getting married because they so love one another need a prenuptial agreement? If you can't trust your partner completely then it is a safe bet that the marriage is doomed from the start.
So what will make marriage work? Love. Don't marry someone if you don't know what true love is. Commitment. Remember this is a partnership, not a dictatorship. You are not going to get your way 100% of the time. Trust. If you don't trust your partner then don't even consider it. Forsake all others. Remember this person will be your one and only for the rest of your life and if you are not able to live up to that then don't even entertain marriage. Don't deceive. If you know you are not able to be faithful, commited or honorable to your partner, then do your spouse a favor and don't set up that person for a future heartache. Remember, most marriages have children and they will suffer also.
There is nothing better then to see a marriage that works. The love 2 people show for one another. My parents have been married for over 50 years and it is so nice to see that they feel for one another the same way today as I saw them feel 30 years ago. True love makes a marriage work. Please make sure for everyones sake that you truely love your spouse before you make the single biggest commitment of your life. You owe your partner at least that much.
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SunBabe
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May 13 @ 7:18PM
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Marriage doesn't have to be a "sacrament". Plenty of people have formed a permanant commitment both through legal/civil means and privately. It IS a "contract", whether you accept that or not.
It's the "commitment" that's often missing, with or without "God's blessing".
Of course there were many "committed but miserable" couples in the past. Their sense of commitment forced them to live together under the "toleration" policy. What a waste of the gift of LIFE for these individuals. 
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Kentuck
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May 13 @ 7:54PM
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I will admit that I am divorced and have been for over 14 years. You are correct when you say marriage is not the same as it ( lets say) used to be. I think their was a song at one time called Rev. Lee. It was about all temptations.
But the primary causes of divorces:
1. reason for marriage.
2. Women's lib
3. Poor advice.
4. agreements
5. Definitition of Sex.
The term Sex has been abused. It is used to identify the gender of a person.
It is used to describe an intercourse.
it is used to describe behavior of a man or a wom to each other.
Then it is negative word when used in North America.
My definition is that sex is a 24 hour a day and 7 days a week responsibility of a man and a woman to please the body, mind and soul. You do not receive this pleasure by your ego, but by the sensatation as given to you by your mate. Also, you give the same sensatation to your mate. Now there is no idle time, no sleeping on the couch or in the guess room.
The advertisement of tight jeans, showing ot the tits, or the man trying to show how he is hung or even the dancing has little effect. As the guy called his wife and said Honey I an going to Tianawwana for a cock fight--she replied " you have not whipped the one at home yet.
So love is the respect, honor and desire you have for your mate when it is equally returned. Otherwise, it will seek this relation else where.
So, ladies, when you tell the guy-not to honey or I am mad at you or you have to sleep on the couch, You open the paster gate for greener grazing.
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jadedbtch
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May 13 @ 7:54PM
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I was one of those people that added to the divorce rate  but I dont know how to explain what it was that went wrong either. I think it was eaiser to give up on then to work at it! If you have only one person working for it then the base does break and it does not take long. I dont really know what would make it work today but my exhusband and I have a great plan we are working on raising our children together. We live a mile apart from one another and the kids are with me one week and him the next, we dont fight, we dont pay child support and we do split everything 50/50 it is not the normal but it works for us now!!!
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freefish533
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May 13 @ 11:27PM
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 Really helpful and meaningful !
I have learned a lot from it which will make me think over for a long time.
Thanks ! 
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freefish533
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May 13 @ 11:54PM
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But here in China, most married woman pay 100 percent to the husband and marriage, they give birth, work, take care of husband and child, take care of parents on both sides, do housekeeping,,,and basically the husband is faithul...but the problem is that 90 percent divource here is caused by the unfaithfulness of the husband, in most cases not because he doesnt love his wife , child, not because he doesn cherish his family, just becuase he cant resisite temptations, too many free sex, too many temptations, even in the office....so when divouce happebned, most husbands still love thier wives, but wives wont forgive.
I think the basis for the roaring divource rate today is not lack of respect, trust or love between the couple, but the whole moral value destroyed and disappeared---the descipline .People.esp. men struggel with free temptations around them each day, and many married women here, besides do all the above mentioned, must keep an eye on their husbands'( big children) suspicious behaviours(lol, true, many of my married female friends told me so).
Can love, responsibility, commitment, faithfulness..etc.etc resist sexy&free temrations around U? The whole society is now like this, FREE of ALL, and cheap too. So marriage now is really a challenge&test to our HUMANITY.
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freefish533
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May 14 @ 12:18AM
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Hi Kentuck
I laughed a lot reading your comments, thanks !
lol So nice when u can both learn something and laugh from reading !
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