I remember when we first met at 13. We were instantly friends. I thought you were the coolest person I'd ever met (and in later years, you told me in confidence you had thought the same thing about me). For twenty-five years we have laughed together, cried together, shared all the rites of passage of together. We swore we'd be best friends forever, we were invincible.
Now you've shut me out. No, it's not the first time. But when we came back together I'd always welcome you with open arms. We were our own worst critics and our own best cheerleaders. We were inseperable. Men, alcohol, drugs, sickness, but nothing could separate us for very long. What has happened to us?
Yes, our lives have taken different paths. But, I have always made it a point to have room for you. Can you say the same?
Our lives were so very different, but our perceptions and our feelings about ourselves and those around us were nearly identical. We finished each other's sentences, we started conversations about the same subject matter at the very same time. We even had a cutesy little phrase for this phenomenen. We joked we must have been twins separated at birth,
I've buoyed and cheerleaded you since day one. I've been non-judgemental and understanding for all these years. Even in the past few where I've noticed your anger, your close-mindedness, your prejudices and your "the world owes me" have come to surface and taken you over at times. All of this I've looked past because I know deep down you're better than all of that. Can you say the same?
This time I've been hurt to the very core. I'm angry and I'm hurt and I miss you. The real you. This time I don't know that I could ever welcome you back again. The hurt has festered and compounded to the point I almost hate you.
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