Youthful Crushes posted 5/30/2008 3:17:26 AM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: crushes, first love

wordsenchanting

I had a crush on Kathy G. all through grade school. She was the prettiest girl I had ever seen besides my cousin whose name was also Kathy. In 7th grade at a "sock hop" I asked her to dance and she said yes. 7th graders go through very awkward stages of emotional development. I was no exception. Somehow my brain told me that I would be letting her know I liked her if I poked her in the ribs while doing the "twist" My body complied and she refused to dance with me after that forever. By the time we graduated she became the homecoming queen and I would have been heartsick but by then I was going steady with a gal from a much larger school who was also the homecoming queen of her school. (I never danced with her). But I digress. This blog is about crushes. I had a crush on someone in my freshman year. Her name was Cheryl. She had long dark brown silky hair to her waist. She did not walk down the hallway, she gracefully "flowed like water". I followed her sometimes, always making sure she did not notice me. When she did begin to notice me I was embarrassed and I tried to never look directly at her again. I really admired her but never told her so. Then there were two or three other girls I got crushes on and the same story. I was afraid to say so. My ego was so frail in those years I would have been crushed if they even suspected. I was assigned seating at my 10 year high school reunion beside one of the girls I had a crush on and seeing her after all those years made those feelings no less, but I was by then married and would never have voiced a word for fear something might have come from it. By then she was married to a lawyer out west somewhere. I graduated from high school in 1969 so next year will be our 40th reunion. I am going to try and remember to go just to learn what has happened to all those folks I grew up with.
I wonder how many people view other people's profiles and are afraid to announce their interest in that person because of the fear of recognition or rejection? Does this same thing happen regardless of the age of the person? I have reached a place where if I like someone I tell them so. If they don't like me back it is ok with me. If I am disappointed it passes quickly and at least there is one more I do not have to wonder about. Uncertainty is worse (at least for me) than rejection anyday because it puts my life on hold.

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